A/N: Requested by borninmato

*caution* lots of dialogue ahead for y'all LOLOL

In which;

Byun Baekhyun is a legit living bacon that came from a planet called BREAKFAST, also known as EXO Planet. He was fried because of the burning sun which turned him into a flipping 'hot' Baekhyun, with a perfect pair of byuns so therefore he moved to a whole new planet called, fast. The place where all things with byuns would be at 24/7.

Jung Daehyun is a girly matoki that is known as Kekemato due to his girly laugh, but his personality changed as he found out he needed to be manly for his beloved one, the legit bacon. Sadly he was the only to sucessfully transform into a manly man, all the others (for instance Luhan and Ren) failed to accomplish what was dubbed 'Mission Impossible'. 

Kim Taehyung is the one and only child that belongs to Jung Daehyun and Byun Baekhyun. Whilst typing his birth certificate an error occurred and a fail-ish typo was made. Taehyung's name wasn't suppose to have a 'g' at the end, but it was Daehyun's fault as he was the one with such nimble fingers. No, not really, you see he was thinking of gum so therefore he automatically typed the 'g' at the end of what was supposed to be 'Taehyun'. 

Sadly these 3 men were seperated from each other like Romeo, Juliet and their future baby as they all lived on different planets.Their reunion though, was one that was to be added to the 'Universe's Greatest Reunions' record in which they next would have had to moved to 'Universe's Greatest Reunions' planet.

The 'Universe's Greatest Reunions' planet was a planet where aliens would write about their first meeting or whatever then go live over there. You could easily see this planet from Earth in 1000 years time, and the first thing you would see is, "HUMANS ARE STUPID" in ugly handwriting as the planet is shaped in that phrase. 

Enough of that planet because that stupid family unfortunately forgot how they met to even write it down. Let's get back to the Hyun Family and there present life that will now be displayed to you guys.

"Mummy...Baekummy? UM HELLO? YO FEMALE WHERE ARE YOU? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Baekhyun frowns at the boy who kept calling him as the very same boy suddenly belted out a B.A.P song called 'Where Are You? What Are You Doing?'.

In a rushed manner, Baekhyun rudely replied back, "WHAT?". 

"COME ON RUDE BOY, I'M HUNGRY!" Daehyun screams, "WHERE MY FOOD AT MAMA, YOU SO HEARTLESS, MINDLESS, DO YOU EVEN CARE ABOUT ME?"

"You're my husband not child! Don't call me your mother because I'm not a female! I have a dingly doo hanging down there with two grapes you know?" Baekhyun screams back. Ohohoho then there's Taehyung in the background of this chanting fight, fight, fight! What a lovely son he is...

"Pfft. Well I know I can, be what I wanna be, if I work hard at it, I'll be where I wanna be. YEAH THAT'S RIGHT. So right now I want to be less hungry, but ya know that can never happen." As Daehyun speaks his happy tone goes down a roller coaster and metamorphs like the Power Rangers into a sad tone. He sighs sadly as if he had just lost his one and only precious food. 

"And we are also running low on food, so can we go and eat that beautayful looking flanet over there?" Daehyun continues in a horrible human language - English - while pointing at 'flanet' Earth.

"OH CAN WE? IT LOOKS LIKE BUBBLE GUM." Taehyung screams, yes, he was also hungry.

"WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE AFTER YOUR FATHER'S TUMMY?" Baekhyun OTL-ed dramatically.

~~~~~~~~~~

Later, Baekhyun somehow finds himself flying their U.F.O to Earth.

~~~~~~~~~~

"IT'S GETTING BIGGER!" Daehyun drools and like father like son, Taehyung does the exact some thing. Whilst the two have ugly saliva seeping out of their mouths, Baekhyun internally cries in despair having to be the caretaker of the idiots. 

"DOES THAT MEAN MORE FOOD?" Taehyung asks as his spit flies into Baekhyun's hair and melts it like acid. The now bald Baekhyun goes into panic mode and rips off a wheel from the U.F.O (yes the U.F.O has wheels boohoo it's a flying car) to throw at Taehyung who ducked down just in time, grabbed a duck from Daehyun's mouth (da fark) and gives it to Baekhyun as a sorry gift. 

"FORGIVE ME MUDDA." Taehyung screams in sorrow as he goes onto one knee and hands the duck to his mama with two hands. Baekhyun happily took the duck by its neck and whacked both Taehyung and Daehyun with the duck's . Let's just say Mama Baek is into some shat ;). 

"ERROR!" Their U.F.O chanted like 365 times and even started singing not only VIXX's Error but also EXO's 365. Yet they didn't even hear it. Their U.F.O had enough of this, turned into duck and whacked the Hyun Family to Earth.

"GREAT! LOOK WHA-" Baekhyun was cut off when a open mouthed Daehyun tried to eat his the clouds.

"THIS TASTES SO DIRTY!" Daehyun cries as thunder and rain came pouring out of his mouth. Suddenly the thunder and rain turned into two hot men who coincidentally resemble to MBLAQ's Thunder and Rain the soloist. 

"DID YOU JUST EAT A THUNDER CLOUDS AND VOMIT TWO MEN OUT?" Baekhyun screams as his eyes widen.

Daehyun rolls his eyes before muttering, "you care too much, look at Taehyung."

And with that we turn to Taehyung who is currently eating this weird looking bird.

It's a bird!
No it's a man!
No, it's underdog a plane! 
Seriously, it's a freaking plane with people in it...

"Hello!" Taehyung screams into a hole in the plane that he has created, but all he got was a slap in the face due to him poking his head into the toilet area. Taehyung then got pulled inside and somehow got his into the toilet and got stuck. The female sumo wrestlers was now satisfied with Taehyung's punishment. 

Whilst Daehyun tried to flap his way to the plane to save his son, Baekhyun was praying that their duck/U.F.O would come waddling back to them. 

Luckily Taehyung was set free after he started to fart bubbles; while the toilet itself started bubbling; while Daehyun was now eating a tree on the plane and whilst Baekhyun was trying to turn this random guy into a U.F.O.

"SAY 'I AM A U.F.O' NOW!" Baekhyun screams at the man in fast language.

"I DONT UNDERSTAND YOU OR YOUR DAMN S!" The man replies back scared less. The man's scaredness is caused because there's little Taehyung in the background thinking does this human taste nice? Whilst oogling the man's skin before biting it. 

"OH THAT BROWN THING DOESN'T TASTE AS BAD AS THIS RED STUFF FLOWING OUT!" Taehyung beamed as Daehyun nods his head in agreement. Daehyun was so proud of his son at that moment. 

"Please te-tell me that's fre-freaking dirt from my body? EW THIS IS LIKE THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE," the human man stuttered in horror as next thing you know, he's on the ground 'sleeping'. 

Baekhyun then sat on the man and started to pull his hair, "AND FLY." He said smoothly, but nothing happened. This stupid U.F.O wasn't flying, so Baekhyun decided to pull what was left of the man's hair. Used Daehyun's super sticky saliva and stuck the hair onto his head! New extensions for that fashionista. 

"When I get back home, I'm going to 'Universe's Greatest Reunions' planet and writing down that 'HUMANS ARE NOT ONLY STUPID BUT ARE UGLY U.F.Os TOO' because this is why aliens wouldn't want to meet humans," Baekhyun said super fast as if he was rapping. Which couldn't really be understood but at least you know why aliens hate humans now. 

The Hyun family then fly down to the ground where it's bustling with honking cars.

Whilst Baekhyun was trying to figure a way to get home, he had to multitask and answer stupid questions that came from the other males.

"Can we eat that?"

"No, that's a house."

"How about this?"

"No, that's a angry human."

"But I thought it was a tomato..."

"Then can we eat this?"

"No, that's your father."

"Not him, the thing behind him!"

"That's your reflection in a mirror."

"Then can we eat that? It looks so nice, I just have swallow that smexy beast now!"

Whilst they chatter, the humans are taking photos and staring at them mindblown. 

"That's...my god, what the heck is that?"

People stared at them as they crossed by, like what language are they speaking? All they can see is spit flying every where! People are getting burnt cause of Taehyung's spit, people was getting stuck together by Daehyun's spit and last  but not least, Baekhyun's spit is um, making people grow byuns...This is why Baekhyun belongs to the all mighty fast planet indeed. 

"Then what can we eat?" Daehyun whines, he was so hungry now that he could even eat Baekhyun.

"I don't even want to talk right now." Baekhyun sniffled at the thought of his grandmother and suddenly felt the need to go with his bestie Lay to visit the old lady. 

"I just wanna go home! I MEAN THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPEN IF YOU TWO DIDN'T WANTED TO EAT THIS PLANET," he screams at the two who were now gone.

Baekhyun ended up finding them in this small basement thingy where they were using a U.F.O to make earth smaller for them to eat.

"W-we can explain!" Daehyun said as if he was caught cheating with a spotlight, shining on him.

"YOU HAD A U.F.O ALL THIS TIME?" Baekhyun rips out his extension, which made him look like a rock again, a bald rock.

"BUT WE NEEDED IT! WE NEED IT TO EAT THIS PLANET!" Daehyun and Taehyung screams.

Baekhyun choked up a little as a tear came out of his eyes, he cried about how nobody cared for him--so in the end he stopped weeping and tried to take the U.F.O by force. In the end of damn unidentified flying object cracked and transformed into a dead duck. Whilst Taehyung and Daehyun cried, Baekhyun found a human named Kris who could fly, and they flew back home.

By they, we mean Kris and Baekhyun who then live happily ever whilst Taehyun and Daehyun forever live in the midget planet they now call mini Earth.

#krisbaek

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