A/N: Requested By thunderingexo 

*warning* little dirty little weird idk crack is weird do u need a warning? 

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OR GRANDPARENTS! BOYS AND GIRLS OR MAYBE BOTH! WELCOME TO THE MANLY LUHAN’S Y SUMMER PARTY! IN. WHICH. HE. HAS. SE--

“HOLY FATHER OF MY FLIPPING DEERS!” Luhan screams, cutting off the introduction as he ly runs across the dorm with both of his hand held up high. Stuff this intro, was whispered by some unknown echoing voice.

 “Omfg, what is it this time?” Kris asks, stopping Luhan from running around with Tao’s stick, Tao’s whoosh-whoosh stick, Tao’s WuFan stick, Tao’s—Yeah you get the point.

“THE INTERNET IS GONE!” Luhan screams, tugging on the stick. Kris rolls his eyes before letting go of the stick, causing the almighty Luhan to fall down onto his ding dong.

Kris then pulls out his own phone to check his own internet. He looks to the top left corner; the wifi sign was gone and was replace with 4G. Kris' eyes widen, he felt as if the world just came crashing down on him. Kris could also feel his mind spinning on its own; this was all too much for it to take in.

Luhan gave Kris the most judgemental stare ever existed in history as Kris moves around like a drunkard. Kris quickly does his swaggy, crotch grabbing movement to make sure his ding dong was still there because his ding dong and internet is his life, legit.

~~~~~~~~~~

EXO really had no more reasons to live if their internet isn’t there with them. They believe that their Manager would be able to find a way to save them by getting the internet to work again but, their Manager was taking too long making them grow insane. No, seriously they went insane,

Xiumin was starting to talk to his food :

“You will never leave me like Wifi-ssi right?” Xiumin whispers into a hole he made in his food, thinking that it was the food’s ears. Xiumin picks up his food, gave it a peck before throwing it in his mouth.

“I’m so sorry; I just wanted to make sure that you would be with me forever.” Xiumin sobs, chewing on his food, trying hard not to choke from the thought; he was actually killing his food just for them to be together.

“Oh hell no. Your food goes out of me, so you can never be together!” Xiumin’s butthole screams, and starts to laugh evilly. Xiumin stuck his finger up his butthole to stop it from screaming as tears runs down his cheeks.'

“Why…Even if you didn’t leave me like Wifi-ssi, why can’t we be together?” Xiumin mutters before fainting.

Luhan starts growing big ies that talks like Xiumin’s butthole, well only the left one talks, the right one just jiggles :

“WTF. I WANTED WIFI NOT HUGE S.” Luhan screams, making his big ies jiggle.

“But I am Wifi, actually my name is FiWi!” His left spoke as his right jiggled in agreement.

“No, you are not FiWi, I’m naming you kiwi whether you like it or not.” Luhan shrugged, trying to use his s as source to find wifi.

Kris now had talking ding dongs :

“I’m hard.” Kris’ ding dong coughs, Kris just walks over to his closet and threw on a tutu.

“There, tutus are soft as feathers.” Kris replies, before starting to tap dance in a lazy manner, making him look like his top body was hanged while his legs was on ice.

“Why in the world are you my owner out of all people!?” whines Kris’ ding dong, he even starts to insults Kris’ drawings.

“Whut. No, muddafudaa, I can draw.” Kris replies, he hated his ding dong so much at the moment for insulting him. Kris sighs, he really misses his Wifi.

Suho had became Mr. Crabs while Kai was Squidward :

It was a moment of silent which was sadly ruined by Suho’s screams and Kai’s groans. Suho just kept screaming for money, while Kai’s squid was being tugged on by his own moving octopus located in his crotch. 

“WHOA, WHOA.” Kyungsoo eye’s screams.

Now enter Kyungsoo with his talking eyes :

Kyungsoo reached out and pulled Kai away from Mr. Craho/Suabs and Kai's own moving pelvis. 

“I'll keep you safe, I will keep you safe from--“ Kyungsoo lines was cut off with his eyes singing Spongebob’s theme song. Kyungsoo had no other choice but to shut it up by taking his eyes out.

Bonus, Kyungsoo eyes decides to date each other and give birth to a bigger eye making Kyungsoo jealous.

Plot twist, Kyungsoo can’t be jealous because he can’t see.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol's hearts start to talk about the fact they like each other even though Baekhyun was dating Taeyeon :

Plot twist, the ‘Taeyeon’ Baekhyun was dating all this time was Chanyeol in disguise.

The Chening End.

Chen who now has chopping cheek bones which cuts every single thing in sight :

“CHOP, CHOP!” his cheek bones yells and boom.

There goes Chen’s eye, nose & lips.

Lay who now has a Unicorn’s horn instead of a Ding dong :

“Cause I’m a , horn of a unicorn’s corn, I have myself a coin of cords in a video at the end of a rainbow full of songs~ OHHHH~” Lay sings along with his Unicorn’s ding horn dong.

Well … let him be, Uncorn’s ding horn dongs are hard to control.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, SEHUN WHOSE BOOTY OVERGREW WHICH THEN WAS CUT OFF BY TAO AND GLUED ONTO TAO'S BOOTY : 

“I HAVE A BIGGER BOOTY NOW.” Tao beams in happiness that even made Sehun’s remaining booty cry.

“WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?” Sehun screams, nursing his no fat sebooty whilst trying to add fat onto his .

Well that clearly proves the members have gone insane and perhaps a little dirty—extremely dirty. It’s amazing how insane they actually went because of the lack of internet.

“GUYS! THE INTERNET IS BACK!” Their manager yells.

Suddenly, Xiumin woke up, ripping his finger out of his butthole before reaching for his phone. Luhan s explode and turn into his phone. Kris’ ding dong stop whining and his tut turns into his phone. The rest also found their phone somehow, and it’s better to not know how…they found it.

As EXO was busy rejoicing ,their Manager threw a body at them.

“Who is this?” They asked, poking the body.

“The one who unplugged your Wifi.” Their manager replied.

 “Wow, I thought you were on our side you,"

They trusted you, you tsk tsk tsk—Plot twist, you were on drugs named ‘FEELZ ASDFGHJKL’ and changed to Plan B causing the whole entire world to have a blackout.

Well no internet for EXO now.

Admin : Its dirty and amazing

Admin Hope : Very amazing, hope u liked it ^^
Not fully edited but oh well