Paradox

By: smileysgoboing

Title: 4/5
Paradox! I did not now what paradox meant until I read the definition. It's eye-catching to people who don't know what it means. BUT, for people who don't know it's a little weird, some might look over it simply because they don't known the meaning of "paradox". Nevertheless, I think it's ingenious!

Description: 4/5
The description is soooo good! *-* BUT (there's always a "but") I think you should put the definition for "paradox" right under the last line. It would look like:

"Isn't it strange than the Angel of Love could cause so much death and destruction?

___________________ par·a·dox /ˈparəˌdäks/ noun paradoxes, plural

A situation, person, or thing that combines contradictory features or qualities ____________________"

Why? Well, you're getting the reader in the mood and building up morale with every sentence then this definition just cuts in front of it and...ruins the whole "building-the-momentum" idea.

Anyway, besides that very little thing, your description is good and the cryptic remarks keep you wondering. It makes the general audience want to read the first chapter and check it out. I admit that once I read the description I was hooked.

Foreword: -/5
---They're very short compilations so this shall not apply. xD

Title of chapter(s): 5/5
Yes! They make sense and indicate what part of the story you're on. If I lost my place, I'd be able to find my spot easily by reading the headings. They are most definitely relevant and will not confuse the reader at all.

Characterization: 17/20
We all know Hana is the troubled girl and Junhyung is the hopeless romantic but what I think we'd like to know is: What do they look like? I know that it's like a series of short oneshots (not really but I think you understand) but it's crucial that you include what this "Kim Hana" looks like! Is she short, tall, fat, skinny, fair-skinned, brown eyes, green eyes, gray eyes, black hair, brown hair, blonde hair? What's so special about this girl?

Also, I think a bit more background could be included on Hana! Where are her parents? Brothers? Sisters? Even Junhyung could use a little background. Sure, Yoseob is his good friend but how did they meet? Although it's short and it's not a full-out fic we need those details girl! Something else that irks me is that the girl's name is Kim Hana. Sorry but...that's a common name. I see Kim Hana's EVERYWHERE. It's pretty darn scary how many Hana's are out there.

Doojoon, what's the deal with him? Of course he was Kikwang's guardian/helper but... GOD DAMN DID HE HATE HANA THAT MUCH? LOL. 8D

Anyway, I still liked evil Junhyung at the end! >:3 Hana was a ...seriously.

Format: 10/10
Like the chapters, easy to understand and there weren’t really any flashback moments so… It wasn’t hard to differentiate. Good job on this! FULL POINTS!

Flow: 12/15
The flow was moderate and since it was short, it was accurately broken up. The only, literally ONLY, thing that got to me was how when Hana and Junhyung started living together. How come she gave in easily to that but NOT his lovin'?! That is all.

Details: 9/10
Like mentioned before, this is a short compilation so super descriptive details would be nice but not crucial. I love how you worded things and just like the characters it would be nice if you described things a teensy but more (where Junhyung and Hana live, what that in between Heaven/Hell place looks like). Nothing big.

Spelling/Grammar: 16/20
Your description: “Tthe girl who's job is to help others find their soulmates.” You meant “The” not “Tthe” right? xD No biggie. Just change it.

“Kim Hana is being punished in the cruellest way possible…” “cruellest” is spelled with one “l” so it’s cruelest. It’s amazing how no grammar errors were found in the story but rather the description. O.O good job! ^-^

Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
I loved it. I cherished it and I'll be reading the sequel soon~ ^^ I'm not those angst/sad type of person but this changed my mind on the genre. I had to subscribe. Keep it up and be sure to see me commenting on your other stories! :)

Total: 82/95
Good Score!

Reviewed by: Candyy 

This story was reviewed by a LuciferAngel's Wonderland Review Shop, more specifically, Candyy! Thank you very much for the advice, and I appreciate it a lot ^_^