“I can’t…”



Sohee stopped again in her tracks and looked up to the man who has his arm around her shoulders… it’s already been weeks that she was discharged from the hospital… learning about her best friend’s state drowned her in deep guilt… Heechul never leave her side, despite her still pushing him away, he stayed… 





“It’s okay… I’m not going to leave you…”




He tightened his hug on her… it took him couple of tries to make her visit her best friend… Sohee was so down, blaming herself for everything that happened to Dara… if she didn’t became so selfish over her best friend’s lover… if only she didn’t hide all of this to their friends… Dara’s probably not suffering again… same thoughts filled her mind…





“Sohee-ah…”





His warm voice brought her back… he held her hand securely with his…enough to calm her racing heart… he smiled at her while all she just looked at him…they started their tracks going inside the hospital… 





--





“Sir you can’t sleep here…”





Seunghyun’s eyes fluttered open and saw a young lady wearing one of the nurse’s uniforms looking down at him… he rubbed his eyes for at first he thought he just saw angel… probably just because of his lack of sleep…





For weeks he’s been lacking of sleep... even not going home sometimes just because he wants to stay at the hospital to watch over the girl he loves who’s suffering terribly now… and now skipping his work… he just want to be there for her… hiding himself for he’s sure she’ll scold him if she knew he’s been neglecting his work… if not for his secretary and his parents, he thought he’ll lose it… he just can’t take seeing her suffering like that… but he knows what he’s feeling right now is nothing compared to what his friend is feeling… 





“I’m sorry…”





He quickly got up from the bed he was lying at for a couple of minutes… enough to boost him up again to check on her… the nurse looked at him worriedly… she always catch him sleeping at the next room beside the room of her patient… it against the rules of the hospital but it was her first time to approach him… feeling sorry seeing how weary he is… but right now, her superior would roam around to check… 





“Sir you don’t look well…”





The young nurse told him… his hands reached for his face and rubbed his temple before dropping on his lap… he looked up and he wasn’t really hallucinating… the lady really looked like an angel… especially with her white uniform… he looked at her name tag… realizing that her name was as cute as her… 





“I’m fine…”





He smiled at her… and it didn’t escape his eyes how the lady blushed with his simple smile… it just reminded him of Dara… the way she blushes… and the way she smiles… like an angel just like the woman in front of him now…





He went out of the room together with her… Sanghyun was just right outside his sister’s room… wearing another bothered look on his face… Seunghyun bowed to the nurse before going to Dara’s younger brother…





“Hey… what’s wrong…?”





He tapped the younger guy’s shoulder for he seemed too lost… Sanghyun looked up with tears in his eyes…





“Hyung… I can’t see noona like that again…”





Seunghyun gulped down… she’s probably being attacked by her pain again… his gaze directed towards her room… heard her whimpering inside… heard his friend and Dara’s mother calming her down… a new day, yet all she feels was the same pain that’s slowly killing her body…





It breaks his heart whenever he hears it… but right now… he… all of them couldn’t do anything about it but to just watch her in pain…





Learning that her tumor got worse again… she needed another operation for it… but behind that remedy was the possibility that her life would be the exchange of it… all of them knew about it… Jiyong took it the worst… he couldn’t stake Dara’s life but at the same time, couldn’t let her in pain everyday… Seunghyun thought his friend would lose it once he knew about Dara’s condition… almost trashed out the doctor’s office telling how casual they could be about those things… 





Seunghyun’s brows knitted… he wrapped his arm around the younger guy’s shoulder… caressing its back to make him calm…





“I know… but we need to stay strong for her…”





He looked again towards Dara’s room… heard another cry from her… 





‘God… please don’t make her suffer too much…’





He closed his eyes… chanting in his mind the same words he’s been praying for these past weeks…





--





“Omma… I think you need some rest…”





Jiyong approached the old lady who’s seated beside Dara’s bed, holding on to her hand… morning he had been calling her that since back then since he already doesn’t have someone to call his mom… 





Dara’s mom went directly to the hospital once she arrived from abroad… it was like a nightmare haunting them once again hearing about her daughter’s sickness again… she thought they already overcame it… but they were all wrong… and now, here she is again watching her daughter cringing in pain… suffering and it suffers her more watching her while she couldn’t do something to heed her in her pain…





“I’m fine… you should be the one who should rest… you’re lacking sleep already…”





She told him… caressing her daughter’s pale face… Jiyong looked down at his lifeless lover… she’s now skinnier than she is… she just fainted from too much pain… and just this morning, right after she woke up she throw up once again… suffering from a terrible migraine that she couldn’t even eat….





“I don’t want to leave her…”





He whispered with an obvious pain in his voice… Dara’s mom turned around to see the him… sure he also lost some weight even it’s only been weeks… she smiled up at him before she stood up from her seat…





“Can I talk with you for a moment…?”





He somewhat knew what she wants to talk about… she had been telling him the same thing over and over again but he just couldn’t make up his mind about it… even their friends agreed with the same thing… to make everything fine for her… to take the pain away from her… but he sees it differently… as if telling him to just let go of her… to jut give up and do the easiest way to take the suffering out from her…





“Jiyong-ah…”





She called him once again… he heaved out a breath and nodded… he went beside Dara and leaned down to kiss her forehead… he reached for her hand and brought it up to his lips…





“I’ll be back baby…”





He whispered before placing another kiss on it…





They went outside and saw his friend wearing a curious look on his face… 





“Watch for her for a minute…”





Seunghyun just nodded at him before he and Dara’s younger brother went inside her room… Jiyong followed the older woman as they went to the hospital’s lounging area.





--





“She needs it…”





She gave him a cup of coffee as they both sat down… he knew what she meant… it’s about the operation again… they told Dara about it before and she, together with Jiyong denied to have her operation… it’s just too risky…





He didn’t spoke… enough for the older woman to know that he still haven’t have a change of mind… she put down her drink on the coffee table as she reached out for Jiyong’s hands and placed it on her lap…





“Jiyong-ah… don’t be too selfish…”





He looked up… tears forming inside his eyes… it pains him t know that it’s the only way to save her as well as to know that behind it, he may never see her again… call him selfish but never he wanted of losing her again… 





“I…I… can’t lose her again…”





A tear dropped on the hands as it escaped his eye as he bowed down… Mrs. Park held his hand tightly with hers…





“You’ll not lose her… we’ll not lose her… she’s a strong kid… that’s why she needs this operation…”





“But...-“





“Jiyong-ah… do you want to see her suffering each day…? It breaks my heart to see my daughter almost dying because of the pain… and I know you feel it too… so please… let’s give her a chance to regain back her life… we need to try… it’s the only way…”





He looked at her in fear… pulled out his hands from her hold as he shifted his seat to look straight… and just then, he burst out in tears… felt like being suffocated by his own breath…he bowed down, supported his forehead with his hand he cried… this is the most helpless time he felt… if only he could give his life for her… 





“Why does it have to be her…? What did she do to deserve all this…?”





He said between his sobs… the older woman joined him in his tears… hugging the breaking younger guy in front of her… she caressed his back… those were the same words she kept on repeating back then the first time this incident happened…





“It will be alright… my daughter is a strong girl…please stay with her…”