Chapter 5
Sunshine
Days went by and Daehyun was running on little to no sleep. He was getting frustrated.
Daejun would cry.
Daehyun would hold him, check his diaper, and see if he was hungry. If no avail, Daehyun would try to put Daejun to sleep.
Try.
Daehyun struggled with trying to put Daejun to sleep. He struggled to get Daejun to stop crying.
Nothing Daehyun did worked.
What do I do? Daehyun sighed.
A light bulb went off in his head. I know, he grinned.
Daehyun looked at Daejun and put his hands over his face. When he pulled away his hands to reveal his eyes wide and his cheeks puffed out. Then covered his face again. This time when he pulled his hands away it revealed the duck face. His hands then returned to cover his face. He then revealed his face once again with his mouth and eyes wide. Eyebrows lifted.
Daejun let out a small giggle.
Daehyun smiled as his plan seemed to work.
For a while.
It didn't take long before Daejun started crying again.
Daehyun sighed in frustration. He put his head in his hands and closed his eyes.
"Cho Hee. I need you." He mumbled.
He then lifted his head. "That's it! I'll go see her!" He said outloud.
Daehyun picked up Daejun and got them both ready. As Daehyun gazed into the mirror at himself and noticed he hadn't shaved in a while. I look rough, he thought. He didn't realize stress had taken a toll on him. Shaking his head of thoughts he continued to clean himself up and Daejun. He then made sure he had everything Daejun would need in a bag. He even put the letters Cho Hee written in the bag.
Daehyun loaded the bag and Daejun in the car, then they left.
Daehyun had asked beforehand where Cho Hee was buried and he was glad he did. He needed to see her. Be near her.
When they arrived at Cho Hee's grave Daehyun held Daejun and sat down in front of the tombstone.
"Cho Hee. It's Daehyun." Daehyun started to speak. He tried to think of what to say and ended up blurting out. "I miss you. Why'd you go? We could have made it work. I know BAP was getting busy with promotion after promotion, but we could have made it through."
Tears began to fall from Daehyun's eyes. "I love you Cho Hee. I need you. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to be a good father. I just don't know what to do." Daehyun cried.
After a few minutes he remembered the letters the lawyer gave him. Daehyun got the letters out of Daejun's bag.
More tears flowed as he saw her hand writing.
Dear Daehyun,
I hope I will be alive and you won't have to read this letter, but I have a feeling that I won't live to see Daejun. That is why I am writing these letters. One to you and one to Daejun. Please make sure Daejun gets his when you feel the time is right for him to have it.
To you my love, I'm sorry you had to find out this way. It isn't right. Every time I tried to go back to tell you, I couldn't bring myself to it. I know I had hurt you and I figured you wouldn't want to see me.
I know I should have told you at the beginning, but I was scared. I didn't think you would have accepted me being pregnant at the time since BAP was doing a lot of promotions and you weren't home. I know it was wrong and I hope you can forgive me.
Please know I never once stopped loving you Daehyun. I love you so much. I really wanted us to be a family. It is my fault we weren't one.
I'm sorry. I truly am.
Please forgive me.
I know you can take good care of Daejun. You're a good man Dahyun. You'll be a good father. Scratch that you are a good father. You know how I know? Because I know you will take in Daejun. I know you will love him and care for him. You will be there when he needs it.
There will be good and bad days, but you can get through it.
He needs one of us to be there for when he grows up. I know he needs both of us, but for some reason I had to go.
But he has you.
Daehyun. Daejun needs you.
Be there for him.
Promise me you will.
I will be watching over you both. Protecting you both.
I am going to end the letter now. I don't know what else to say, but I love you Daehyun. Forever and always.
Cho Hee
The tears were never ending as he finished the letter.
Daehyun held Daejun closer and his his head.
I promise Cho Hee. I'll be here for Daejun. I'll take good care of him for the both of us.
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