April 2015

New York, USA

Time flew by fast and with each passing month, the pressure was on. Earlier this year, SM and FNC released official news regarding Yongseo’s reunion and album collaboration. Last February, to celebrate our first meeting anniversary in WGM, they pre-released Love Light, followed by For First Time Lovers a month later.

The news was met with mixed reviews and responses and I’m not certain which side dominates. It’s always a divided opinion between our WGM fans, some from SONES and my own fans versus CNBLUE’s fans, his fans, and her fans. I don’t even know why her fans are reacting so violently when she’s not even involved in this project.

Our companies also thought it was best to increase the production cost and so, it was decided that each track would have an accompanying music video. The music videos are to be released in its proper sequence (by order of the track list) and each of it are connected. We’re done filming ten out of the eleven songs in the album. At this rate, we might as well shoot a full-length movie while we’re at it.

“This was an anonymous suggestion from either SM or FNC staff. Creating an MV for all the songs in the album would solidify the “story book/mini-movie” concept it has. Production cost would increase but that won’t be a problem since we have a lot of investors willing to fund this project.”

That’s how they broke the news to us. I tried to argue my case again and presented every con I could think and come up with, all of which, were easily dismissed. The marketing and PR departments of both agencies reassured the high statistical probability of our album’s success (domestic and international) and they’ve got every little thing covered. What chance do my speculations and biased opinions have against their proposals, pie graphs, surveys, and other concrete data? None.

The preparations were mostly done, but not everything can go perfect as we have yet to write the title track. We get scolded on a daily basis for failing to even submit a demo of this supposed song we are going to heavily promote. The song that would define this album and exceed expectations. The song that would conclude the “story.” The one with a wedding concept.

“It’s already April! Why haven’t you two done anything?! You know we can’t postpone this. Everything is set. You two better set aside your personal differences and finish this as soon as possible. We can’t move forward to the post-production phase if you keep delaying this.”

That was the last thing we were told before we had this encore stage finale for the joint concert of SM-FNC. Yeah, they’re taking this into a whole new level. New York was the final stop of this tour.

Even if all I wanted to do was to crash and sleep, I knew I had to at least try to discuss and possibly work on the song with him. A line would be an improvement but I was hoping we could at least get the melody done so we could record a demo and present it to our agencies.

I heard him knock and I opened the door to my hotel suite. Hyoyeon and Sica unnies were fast asleep, so I led him towards the living room area, far from the two sleeping princesses.

We spent another hour or two brainstorming. We argued a lot every now and then. Or it’s usually just me trying to contradict every single one of his suggestions. A lot of papers were scattered on the floor. I looked at the mess and sighed. I got up from the couch, took his guitar, while he sat in front of the grand piano.

He began to tinker some notes and I did the same. We spent some time just randomly trying to come up with a decent sound until he started to play a tune that made me stop and listen.

Shortly after, I was able to follow his lead until a beautiful melody came out of the endless tries. We continued to play until we finally knew how the song would be. We just needed to work on the arrangement, lyrics, and how to execute the bridge of the song.

I continued to play the guitar and thought he’d do the same with the piano, but then, only the sound of the instrument I held could be heard. I turned towards his direction and was puzzled to see this choding sport the cheek bursting smile that always makes my heart flutter.

“What are you smiling about? Hello?! This isn’t the time to daydream or whatever.” I said, hoping, he’d get rid of that smile before I do something I might regret.

He seemed unfazed again, and this time, he was chuckling.

“Ok, what’s the deal, Yonghwa-sshi? What the hell is so funny?!” I still hate it whenever I call him formally because it only reminds me of the distance between us. The distance which I am responsible for.

“I just think this is cute. Don’t you remember the time when you didn’t even know how to play the C or G chord? It was always I who played the guitar, but now I think you’re better at it than me. I’ve been playing the piano a lot recently and I see you do the same with the guitar. Don’t you think it’s cute?”

He noticed that? I thought I was the only one. I secretly felt happy whenever I would see him play the piano, especially during their Can’t Stop comeback. The selfish and delusional part of me believes that he chose to play this instrument as a way of sending a message that he still thinks about me. I know. Fangirls aren’t the only ones who get carried away with their delusions about “oppa.”

“No. I think you’re wasting your time recalling such memories.” I replied.

“You should know by now that your cold shoulder treatment doesn’t really work on me. I know why you’re doing this to us Hyun, and I also know it’s about time you stop trying to keep up the act.” He teased me.

“Then why are you being such a choding? If you knew, then all the more reason to keep things between us strictly professional.”

“Baby, there’s nothing professional about the two of us since that day we kissed.” He winked at me. Damn it. Choding Jung Yonghwa, I can handle. But adding the flirtation into the scenario is a different story. I am, after all, just a girl. A girl who also happens to be in love with this boy.

“Are you interested to finish this song or not? Because if it’s the latter, then why don’t you go back to your room so I can get some rest too.” I snapped, hoping it was enough to cover up my feelings.

He laughed, and sat up straight as he did the scout’s honor gesture. Another hour passed and we’ve successfully recorded the instrumental guide for the song. Now we just have to work on the lyrics.

We started off by exchanging ideas about the title. We went through countless Google searches just to get some ideas and inspiration, but eventually gave up when we found none. We decided that it’s best if we come up with it on our own.

“How about, I Was Made For You?” he suggested.

“That’s too cheesy. What do you think of You Are My Forever?” I said. He looked at me and feigned a disgusted facial expression.

“You Are My Forever? Jinjja? Yah, Seo Joohyun, mwoya? And you called me cheesy a while ago! How would you describe that suggestion of yours then? You Are My Forever?!” he teased me.

I threw a pillow at him and laughed. I stopped when I realized he no longer joined in the laughter and chose to stare at me instead.

“I missed that laugh of yours. It’s been a while.” He commented sincerely.

I didn’t want to contradict him and to be honest, I was too exhausted to whip out a sarcastic remark. Instead, I smiled at him. His mouth was wide open and I took this opportunity to further by showing off some aegyo. I saw him blush and try to hide his smile. He shook his head, the smile never leaving his face as he said,

“Omo. Is this my lucky day? My Hyun just laughed and smiled because of me? She even showed off some aegyo!!!” he exclaimed a little too enthusiastically.

My heart jumped at the sight of him doing that happy dance and for a second, I thought of just running towards him and give him the warmest bear hug. However, I didn’t. I am, after all, still a coward.

“Don’t push it, oppa.” I stopped as I realized the last word that I just said. Before I could take it back, he was jumping up and down.

“And she called me oppa again! After 3 years! Is this the end of my life? Am I just hearing things? Or did a miracle finally came true?” he said. I knew he was just exaggerating but he was so cute that I gave in to my laughter as I walked over to him to squish his cheeks.

“Pabo-yah. Instead of trying to convince me with your lame acting, why don’t we get back on track?” I smiled at him so sweetly that I swear if Yong oppa was standing, he would’ve fallen on his knees.

I don’t know how it progressed from me acting cold and indifferent to this point wherein it feels like the time we were ‘married.’ I didn’t want to dwell on these thoughts so I began to enumerate random song titles I could think of.

“Love Everlasting? Everlasting Love?”

“A Promise for Eternity?”

“Ou