2013

Cheongdamdong, South Korea

I did everything I can to win her back. I convinced FNC to move our dorm in the same villa complex as hers, though they weren’t aware of this until after CNBLUE has moved. I was scolded a lot by Han sajangnim for doing such a risky move but they couldn’t do anything about it since everything else was finalized.

I courted her parents, her oppas, her dongsaengs, but most of all, her unnies. I told them my side of the truth and I got a scolding that’s good enough for a decade. I knew they only did that because of their love for Hyun.

I was subtle with my efforts to be friends with her again. I’d “accidentally” bump into her in the hallways, elevators, or anywhere else just so I could say hi. I tried to make her smile and throw in a couple of cheesy lines and lame jokes. I even asked her unnies to make sure that she wears the couple gifts from our WGM fans.

There was a time wherein I felt hopeless, but our overlapping comebacks earlier this year was enough to dissuade me from giving her up.

I knew she was the one who sent those lunch boxes. The staff said it was from a “fan” but I’m not that stupid to realize that the one with my name on it was different and more special than what was given to the rest of them, including my dongsaengs. Sherlock’s sleuthing skills aren’t even needed for me to recognize my Joohyun’s handwriting on that “fan” letter attached to it.

I brought this up once and a lot about it, hoping she’d just tell me the truth. Obviously, it backfired. I didn’t get another lunch box. What I got instead was a different set of gifts.

I still suspected about the “fan” since the handwriting was definitely not hers. My suspicion and curiosity didn’t last for long when I caught glimpse of the same stationary somewhere in SNSD’s dressing room that time we recorded our performance for Music Bank.

That same night, my phone was flooded with messages from a very angry Kim Hyoyeon, telling me how their maknae woke her up from her sleep to write that “fan” letter (which she had to do for over fifteen times since Joohyun refuses to have erasures on it whenever she remembered to add something), sneak into CNBLUE’s dressing room while having to dodge my own fans, and so on and so forth.

At another one of our music show recordings, there was security mishap. Some fans were able to get access backstage and started harassing idols, managers, and the staff. I was trying to hide from them and luckily found an unlocked door just when I thought I’d be cornered. I expected to have gotten inside an empty storage room, but then, there was an angel sleeping peacefully inside. Seo Joohyun.

I locked the door, quietly walked towards where she sat (her back was leaning on the wall) and sat down beside her. I carefully moved the book towards the opposite side and gently laid her head on my shoulder. She stirred in her sleep and I felt her hold on to my arm. I readjusted our position until I had my arms wrapped around her. I watched her sleep, listened to her mumble and call out my name, until I felt my eyelids become heavy.

An hour or two must’ve passed when I woke up. Joohyun was still fast asleep. I couldn’t’ care less about the banging on the door or the commotion that was happening outside as I brushed a strand of hair away from her face and leaned closer to kiss her. I didn’t even get the chance to bask in that moment when I felt my head being hit by a cold metal object and my shirt nearly torn from the forceful grabbing.

“YAH!! YOU BYUNTAEEEE!!! GET OFF OUR MAKNAE! MANIAC! ERT!!! SASAENG!!!”

“GET YOUR HANDS OFF SEOHYUN!!!”

“YOU!!! HOW DARE YOU TAKE ADVANTAGE OF AN INNOCENT GIRL!!!”

The screams and accusations went on. I couldn’t focus on anything but to shield myself when I heard someone come to my rescue.

“NOOONAAASSS!!! THAT’S MY HYUNG!! URI YONGHWA HYUNG!!! GEUMANHAEYO!!! GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HIM!!”

Jungshin! My very own maknae! Who knew the time would come when he would be the one to save me? The room was filled with gasps of horror and only when we had the chance to see each other face to face, did they apologize for the behavior. Jonghyun and Minhyuk were laughing alongside Yoona and Soojung. Aish. These jashiks.

I looked towards Hyun who seemed oblivious to everything that has happened. She has this cute “just got out of bed, what is happening” expression all over her beautiful face. I was staring at her and I knew that my smile has reached my ears the second I heard the groans, hoots, cheers, and laughter.

“I think we’re disturbing someone else’s moment.” Taeyeon said.

“If only we knew that Hyunnie was with her husband and not a creepy ert sasaeng fan, we would’ve locked you two in this room until you find a way out.” Jessica continued.

“Which is why this is the part we are all supposed to make our exit.” Yuri reminded. The rest of them agreed and left the two of us.

It was awkward for a moment before she started to loosen up and start a very casual conversation with me. I still threw in the cheesiest of the pickup lines I knew. I still held her hand every chance I get. I still smiled at her even if she didn’t have the courage to look at my face.

The only thing I didn’t do was to tell her I love her. God knows how much I wanted to say those words at that moment, but I held back because I also knew that if I wanted that conversation to last, I should remain on the safe yet boring topics about music, our friends, her studies, and families.

I knew that her unnies already told her that I knew what happened, but Seo Joohyun isn’t Seo Joohyun if she’s not stubborn. I knew that she still had doubts, fears, insecurities, and questions. However, through constant effort, little by little, she’d respond to me. She still kept the wall up and tried to push me away (thanks to those sasaengs who never fail to remind her why we are in this predicament in the first place), but I didn’t let that discourage me.

Her fanboys were another issue though. She’s blossomed into a beautiful and amazing lady that she’s always meant to become, and it was inevitable that other guys would try to catch her attention. I wanted to punch them or scare them off, but I knew I couldn’t because I didn’t have the right to interfere.

Whenever I see them flock towards her, I couldn’t help but feel angry inside. What right do they have to go after her right now when they never noticed her before? It was I who did all the work. Until they get her to smile, laugh, be upset, spend hours doing a storybook, and buy them a silver ring, it’s next to impossible she’d give them the time of the day.

I’m the first guy who mattered to her. I’m the first guy she fell in love with (this is not mere assumption; even with the absence of those three words, I know that this is true), and I’m very determined to be her last. I put up the bar way too high and it’s impossible for them to exceed the standards I’ve set. In short, they should all just give up because Seo Joohyun is meant to be Mrs. Jung Yonghwa.

Putting all that confidence aside, it doesn’t change the fact that I am still in need of help. I can’t do this on my own. My efforts aren’t enough. I needed backup. The doorbell rang and I immediately ran to usher them inside. It was a chaotic situation as all of them tried to get in at once that some of our neighbors called in security to check on the noise.

The matter was easily resolved. When you’ve got eight out of the nine ladies of the nation’s girl group simultaneously use their aegyo and eye smiles, even the toughest of the villa’s security ahjussis crumbled and just let us go our way.

Once inside the dorm, they immediately gobbled up the food I’ve prepared and made themselves at home. I let them relax for a while since that’s the least I could do for the people who really made an effort to find time out of their extremely busy schedules just to hear me out and possibly help me in my plans.

After an hour, Sooyoung called them over to gather in the living room and I knew that the “meeting” has officially begun.

“Okay. Speak up now Jung Yonghwa and let’s just get this over with.” Joohyun’s unnies said.

I don’t know what to make of the tone of their voice. Were they bored, tired, threatening me, or just simply going with the flow? I tried not to think too much and decided to just go straight to the point.

“I need help. I can’t do it on my own. I did everything I could think of but it feels like she still doesn’t believe me when I tell her that I love her. At the back of her mind she’s probably thinking that she could end up being just an ex and our friendship would be ruined. That’s why she keeps pushing me to the edge. How can I tell her that she’s wrong when she won’t even listen to me?” I started my rant.

“That’s your karma hyung. For being such a flirt. If you didn’t exude such a playboy persona in the past by being too chummy with a certain female co-star, or any other female celebrity, then it would’ve been easier for you to convince Seohyunnie.” Jungshin stated.

I could hear the rest snicker and share high-fives. This maknae! Since when did he get so brave to talk to me like that? I was about to scold him and say something to defend myself when Jessica spoke.

“I agree with the nation’s chingu. Before you react, and since we’re all about brutal honesty here, can I just say what the hell?! Really, Jung Yong?! Of all the B’s you could’ve shamelessly flirted with, why choose the biggest one of them all? Excuse my language, but I cannot believe you could be so stupid as to think that she’s exactly as how her image is.”

The rest laughed, agreed, and some saying we should be mature enough to handle the past, but I knew well enough that SNSD’s dislike not only stemmed from their overprotectiveness towards their maknae, but it goes deeper beyond that, the reasons which, I’m not really keen on explaining. It’s not like I remember the details either. I was too busy staring at Seo Joohyun to process what she was telling me before when I once asked what’s the deal between some of her unnies and my drama co-star.

“I regret it, okay?! I regret ever being attracted to her! It makes me sick just thinking about it…” I wasn’t done defending myself when the rest of them started talking one after the other.

“Then there’s those sickening BTS clips to remind you of your flirtation and philandering ways. Tsk. You should’ve been more friendly wit