Dear Diary, 

This is my very first time writing a diary. I'm not sure what should I write and how should I start this but I guess besides writing a diary, there ain't anywhere I could so truly so honest to tell out my feelings. Can I tell you? I can't talk to anyone how I feel because it will only make them worried and sad. I do not want them to see me sad. So I had been putting a fake mask all these time, a mask that saying "Kwenchana". But am I really alright? No. I'm not. Looking at the days, I have only left a week. In just few days later where he will be officially hers. A fact that I can't change. A fact that I have to accept. Since that day he texted me asked me to trust him, he didn't keep in touch with me anymore. It is because of that night? That night where he agrees that he will be marrying her? Is that the reason why he didn't keep in touch with me? Does his love for me wavered? I don't know...I refuse to find out....

Still remembered the first day I met him. His big eyes, sharp nose, that gorgeous smile that probably melts every girl in town and unfortunately including me. I missed him. Missed his laughter. Missed his lame jokes. Missed his soft lips. Missed his kiss. I used to be a tough person since that incident, since my past relationship. But not till I met him. I changed. Now, even small pains make me teary. Is it because of him? Probably. My heart cries out whenever I pass by you. Wishing that you will at least look at me, but you didn't. Is it because of her? Did your love wavered? 

You are the whole world. My whole world. I dream for only you. I hold my breath in front of you. Why did you make me feel this way? That day I told you that we are not meant to be. Even I don't mean it but I know I hurt you that day. It is because of that, now you are letting me feel the pain that you had been through? Just like it's merely a moment passing by, but you pass by me so easily. 

That day seeing you and her, my heart sank. I don't know why but after seeing you, my eyes lose control. Tears non-stop flowing. You make me cry. Like an idiot, like a child. Did I perhaps already fall for you deeply........

When I pushed you away last time, you always get closer to me. No matters how hard I push you away, you will get closer. The closer you get, more scared I get, but this love cannot be stopped. But this time, you didn't.....Whenever I try to get closer to you, you avoided. Why is that so? It is my love for you too much? Or falling for a princess is too much for you?  

Today when I was at the gard