Jongdae was grinning teasingly at his older brother, who was busy mirroring himself, checking whether there was something wrong with him. He turned around several times and kept checking, and he huffed anxiously.

It’s been obvious that Junmyeon and Chorong would be back together after things happened between them. And it also would be their last time together before the graduation and the ceremony and college life. Junmyeon already applied for a business school in States – because he wanted to be with Jongdae – and Chorong has been accepted in a music college in Japan.

 “Where are you going to take her, hyung?” Jongdae asked as he went in to his brother’s room.

Junmyeon’s cheeks tinted in pink shade, “… Just someplace nearby,” he answered and he huffed, “How do I look, kid?”

“… Beautiful,” he raised his thumb. “Chorong noona will need shades because your perfection shines too brightly,” he cackled into a soft smile.

Junmyeon chuckled and he took a deep breath and he nodded, he was sure that he was ready to meet her. But he took a halt when he was about to get out of the room, he looked over his shoulder, seeing his brother was looking up at the ceiling. Jongdae was spacing out for the umpteenth time definitely.

“You’re not going somewhere?” Junmyeon decided to ask, the younger craned his neck to meet his brother’s eyes, “… It’s Friday, you know…”

Jongdae shook his head, “I don’t have the mood, hyung.”

“I see…” Junmyeon nodded casually and continued, “… I’ll see you, Jongdae…”

“Yes, hyung,” he waved lazily at his hyung and again looked up at the ceiling when the older was no longer seen.

He has been thinking awfully a lot pretty lately. It was simply because the moving day would be coming soon and the fact that Junmyeon already finished his final exams, it somehow made his insides tingling. He would be gone a day after his brother’s graduation ceremony. He would be leaving this house soon.

And it really scared him to the core.

He’s been wondering and wondering how she was doing with everything. Was she alright being with Chanyeol, was she having more laughter with Chanyeol, was she happier when Chanyeol held her hands, and he had those stupid thoughts that eventually would hurt his heart even deeper.

He’s been trying to call her, but ended up canceling every time he heard the phone beeped. He’s been tempted to text her, flooding her inbox with his messages, but ended up throwing his phone away in progress.

He really missed the younger too much.

And when he couldn’t contain his missing anymore, there would be always one thing that he would do. He opened Junmyeon’s closet and took one of his black leather jacket and wore it. Then he rushed to the front door, leaving the house with the door slammed.

Chanyeol picked up Ara and helped her packing up with her things, and Ara realized he has been awfully quiet. It’s not that Chanyeol has always been quiet around her, but she could sense there was a tense feeling coming from him. She wanted to ask, but she was scared. Who was she to ask what’s wrong with him? They were no longer couple and Chanyeol would dismiss her even if she had the audacity to ask. So she kept it for herself instead.

“Are you done?” Ara looked up and she wasn’t blind to see an exhausted expression coming out of Chanyeol’s handsome face.

She nodded.

“Okay, let’s go,” Chanyeol headed toward the door first, but then he sensed the female didn’t follow his steps. Chanyeol turned around and furrowed his brows, “What are you doing?” he asked.

“What’s wrong?” Ara softly whispered a question.

“What’s what?”

“What happened?” Ara looked at him with sad eyes. “Did something happen when you met Eunji?”

Chanyeol’s shoulders stiffened hearing her question, but Chanyeol shook his head, trying to cover his true colors and stepped closer to the female. He grabbed her hands and pulled her out of the room in the speed of light. And he never turned around to see Ara, whose eyes were watery already.

Was she that pathetic to be looked at?

Chanyeol let her go and put her bags inside the trunk, before stepping to her side to open the door for her and that was the moment he could look at Ara. He rounded his eyes, surprised because he could definitely see her eyes were glassy and a tear would come down in any second – but somehow she could manage it well. Chanyeol wanted to ask what was wrong with her, but he was afraid.

“… Can’t I?” Ara mumbled very softly, but it was pretty audible so Chanyeol could hear. “… Even it’s impossible, can’t I replace her space in your heart?”

Chanyeol couldn’t find a fine word to reply, so he looked down at his shoes and tried to ignore the pang inside, hearing the female was definitely trembling.

“I know I may not be as great as her, Chanyeol, because face it… I’m not. I’m only great as causing you troubles, getting you hard times, and maybe disturbing your peace…” She wanted to laugh at herself for being so foolish for breaking to tears in front of someone, who she wanted to be looked flawless at. “… But at least… At least…” She was choked in tears, “… I am great at loving you…”

Chanyeol looked up and God knew how painful it was to see Ara being so vulnerable. There was no chance in hell that a pretty lady like her would do something low like this. “Yoo Ara… Don’t…”

“… And I will make sure that you are loved…”

“Yoo Ara, I beg you…”

“Isn’t it enough?” Ara fell into tears and stepped back when Chanyeol’s giant hands were about to wipe them away off her beautiful face – no, it’s not beautiful anymore. It’s ugly. She was ugly, that was why Chanyeol didn’t want to be with her.

“I love you, Ara… For Pete’s sake, I love you. How much goddamn time should I tell you this?” Chanyeol took a deep breath, thanking God because it was pretty quiet at the parking lot, “… But I don’t love you the way you do to me… If you’re staying with me, I will hurt you even more and I can’t forgive myself for that. Do you know how hard it is for me to pretend? You won’t be happy with me… You’ll get tired… You’ll get sick with me…” He gripped her arms and continued, “… So please, please, please… Stop saying those things again… Because you will only hurting yourself, because I can’t give you anything…”

Another saddening tear rolled down over her face. Ara used her hands to slacken her arms off Chanyeol, then smiled at him forcefully. “I want to go home…” She said.

“Yes,” Chanyeol nodded, “Hop in.”

Ara shook her head, “I don’t want to go home with you…”

“Ara…”

“No. I don’t want to go home with you…” She turned around and walked off, leaving the door was wide opened and Chanyeol with his emotion.

Ara sensed herself walking very slowly to the shelter and waited patiently for any cab or bus or anything that she could ride in – anything, beside Chanyeol’s car. She even didn’t care anymore if she was kidnapped by some strangers for agreeing to step in to their cars. All she wanted right now that she wanted to let all her heartbreak out in ocean of tears, and maybe, just maybe, she could try to move on.

Realizing that she was alone and there was no sign of cabs coming, Ara fell into tears for the nth time. She’s so stupid, why should she cry over someone, who didn’t even want her to stay by his side? She’s so dumb for begging for someone’s love, as if she couldn’t find another man.

All the bad thoughts – including the thoughts of her being ugly, her being overreacting, her being burdensome – made her cried even harder.

She was so pathetic, even herself already telling her that.

What exactly was she waiting for?

***

Eunji was trying to get rid of her thoughts of Jongdae with helping her mother doing the chores. But the more she tried to stop, the more she recalled everything about him. And everything about him was nice, it was heartwarming, and it was captivating. There were no bad memories about him. Maybe it was her giving painful memories for him. Eunji smiled bitterly, of course it was her. She cheated on him by giving Chanyeol a chance to get to know her better. And if it was not crazy enough, she even was kissed first by Chanyeol – and not Jongdae.

“… You’re spacing out,” Her mother said as she washed the dishes. They were just finished with dinner and her mother refused when Eunji said she would wash them. “What are you thinking?”

Eunji smiled thinly and shook her head, “… It’s nothing,” she exhaled severely.

Her mother turned off the faucet and wiped her hand with the towel, before looking at her daughter very carefully. She has been the mother of this girl in front of her since ages, she knew what she was thinking with a glance. “… I haven’t seen Jongdae lately,” Instead, she asked about him – trying to dig for some information.

“… We broke up, Eomma.” Eunji told.

Now she got the issue. “… What happened?” She embraced her daughter and brought her to the couch, sitting on it. Eunji was obviously tried to hide her real feelings, or at least tried to not cry in front of her mother.

“… He’s too good for me, Eomma, and I think I was too stupid to realize that…” she smiled sadly, “… And more, he got a scholarship to States for a year — what an amazing way to get rid of me,” she chuckled wryly.

“Do you still love him?” Her mother let out the major question.

Eunji smiled sadly. “… I realized when it’s too late,” then she stood up, took a deep breath and excused herself to leave. Her mother was only staring at her in pity – it was her first heartbreak after all.

And wasn’t the first would always stay in heart?

Kim Jongdae was a pathetic man, who couldn’t be moved. He didn’t know since when and why and how, but he was sure it was happening few days after their broke up, he would come to her house at nights, staring outside, waited until the lights of her room turned off.

Jongdae couldn’t help it, he swore. He really missed the younger and since he had no rights against the female, so he thought this creepy way was the only way to release his missing feeling.

Jongdae waited patiently until his phone beeped. It was Baekhyun calling.

 “Where are you?” Baekhyun asked, “Junmyeon hyung said you’re alone today, so he forced me to play with you.”

“Usual,” He responded shortly.

“Again?”

“Mm-hmm…”

“And you’re not getting caught yet?”

“Baek,”

“Sorry…” A sigh, “She’s just a knock away, just so you know…”

“I know,”

“Then man up, dude. Man up and knock. Man up and tell what you really feel before you leave. Man up and tell her what exactly you want for two of you.” Baekhyun huffed gruffly, “Stalking won’t solve anything, and it will only be a problem if somebody finds you and report you to officers.” Jongdae could sense Baekhyun was rolling his eyes. “Don’t make simple things tangled, Kim.”

Jongdae let out an irritated sigh, he always hated it when Baekhyun said things right. “I’m leaving in three days, Byun…”

“Meh,” Baekhyun snickered, “You only make it sounds like an excuse. Three days are more than enough to man up and tell her about your real feelings.”

“ you, Byun.”

“You only hate me because I am right about this.”

“I’m hanging up,” Jongdae pressed the red button and threw his phone away. His gaze shifted to the room that the lights were already turned off.

He nodded