DAY 30

It’s already four days have passed but I still blank with the Greek note. I read back my quotes book and there got no quotes that I wrote about myth or dream or angel or something that related about. I've asked Joonmyeon about my last quotes but he said that he doesn’t remember it well but I know he lied. How it can be? That quotes was the cause why he want to know more about me. It’s become the reason why we can be like this. And Joonmyeon that I know is the person that very meticulous in every matter that associated with his life. 'Don't remember it well' really don't make any sense. That night I dreamt about I attend my own funeral ceremony made me woke up in afraid and shocked condition. But after a few minutes, I got myself calm. Yeah, everyone will die so why I should be afraid of that? I'm not afraid to die but I don't wanna die. I think everyone thought of like that. Well, who wanna die?

I take my hand phone and earphone and play a music that I heard that day, thought of I might remember. It's an English song titled Drown by Bring Me The Horizon. I don't know why I love this song so much, maybe because it's deep lyrics. I'm rushing climb down the stairs and I accidentally bump into Junhee that make her paperworks strewn on the floor. I apologizes her and help her collect the papers back. My mind suddenly catches a word on a paper. I don't know why I only see it when that paper got another words on it. She thanked me and said that she wants to continue her work at her room. "Junhee," I called her. "Yes?" she said. "I just saw a word on a paper and I just wondering what it is about." I said. "Well, what word?" she asked me. "Decay?" I said. It's taking a few minutes and she replied, "Oh, I'm reading about love story but there’s a part that the related their relationship with the weather. But I'm not really sure what the decay about. Maybe I'm not reading it yet. I'll tell you once I read It." she said and I just smiled and thanked her. "Where are you going?" she asked. "No where, just walk around here since I got nothing to do." I said. "Where's Joonmyeon then?" she asked and I just lift my shoulder up and walk away. Well, he didn't even text me for several days and I also don't have anything important to text him.

As I open the gate, a car suddenly stop in front of me. The car's window went down and I saw Joonmyeon inside the car. "Come in." he said. "No thanks." I said and walked away. What he want now? I could hear the car's door close sound and he called out my name. I manage to make my steps faster. I don't know why I really want to avoid meeting him. I don't know why I'm being like this. Maybe I'm sulking or maybe I got no nice mood today. I feel someone grab my hand. I turn back and faced him. “What you want? Let me go.” I said and try to pull away my hand from his grab. “What have gotten into you?” he asked and I just shut my mouth. He releases my hand slowly from his grab. “Did I do anything wrong?” he asked and I shook. “Did I hurt you or do something that makes your heart broken?” he asked and I shook again. “Then? What’s going wrong?” he asked me. “Nothing.” I said. I don’t know how to tell him and where I should start to explain to him. “I know that I did something. I’m sorry.” He said. “I really don’t need your apologize. All I need now is explanation.” I said. “What you want me to explain about?” he asked. “About the quotes.” I said. “Why that’s quotes so important to you?” he asked me. “If you don’t want to tell, then don’t ask me why I want to walk away, okay?” I said and tried to walk away. “Alright, alright. I’m sorry.” He said and he takes out something from his pocket and he hand me a folded paper. I take the folded paper and open it to read it.

“It was stuck in a loop of a thriller circle. It was a mistake to have been entrusted. See a death with abnormal condition.”

“Now tell me. What this quotes about?” he asked me and I just lifted my shoulder up. “I don’t remember.” I said and tried to remember what happened back then. “How about to go lunch with me?” he asked me. “I don’t think it’s the right to go date.” I said, thought of I might hurt his feel as my mood went wrong. “Well, I don’t mind.” He said and smiled. He holds my hand and we walk towards his car. I just glad that I’ve found my last quotes but it seems relate with my dream but it not related with the Greek note. I suddenly feel fed up with this all nonsense. Two days ago, I went out with Junhee and there’s a woman died because of heart attack while in my vision I saw she’s died because a car crashed her. I managed to save her from her death but then she died because of something else. I really don’t get it. Why I can see someone’s death? Why I can’t even save them? Joonmyeon bring me to cinema after lunch. He said that he want to watch a movie with me. This is the first time I’m watching movie with him. He didn’t tell me what movie he wants to watch so I just follow his step inside the cinema. We take our seat at the couple seat side. He hand me popcorn as he take his seat. “What’s movie?” I asked. “It’s English movie. It’s about cyborg.” He said and the cinema went noisy as the movie started to play on the big screen with loud sound. He know me well, I’m not into love story movie. I felt annoying when I watch love story movie. That’s what I felt before and I don’t know what I feel now because people said it’ll be more interesting if we watch love story movie with our partner. Well, I don’t know and I guess we had to try that.

The movie is so awesome and it’s about to end, I guess. Suddenly I heard nothing. Joonmyeon also isn’t at beside me. The movie is still playing and the cinema is still all dark. I stand up from my seat as I heard something. “Hello? Anyone there?” I said. I could feel something that around me but I can’t see anyone. Suddenly my eyes catch someone’s standing. I manage my steps towards that person. “Excuse me,” my words went half when I see that person holding a knife. That person is a lady. She walks closer to me and I’m backing off slowly. “What are you gonna do with that knife? Throw it away!” I yelled. She keeps walking towards me. She lifts the knife up and she put the knife on her arms. She slides the knife slowly on her skin and I could see the blood. She’s keep walking closer to me while I don’t know where to go as I already feel the wall on my back. She’s throw the knife and stand in front of me. She touches her bleeding arms and peels the cut on her arm.

“Soojung-ah,” I heard Joonmyeon’s voice called out my name. “How is it?” he asked. “The movie was great. I like it.” I said. “Shall we go?” he said and the lights on. I nodded and we were about to standing up but we heard someone’s screaming. We look at each other blankly. I manage my step towards the crowded. Joonmyeon try to stop me but he failed as I walk fast. I was startled when I saw a lady that I dreamt just now. Her arm was bleeding and her skin seems like peeled off because I could saw her arm’s contain. Someone grab my hand from back. “I told you to not go!” Joonmyeon said. I don’t know why but my eyes turn to glasses and I was shaking. “Are you okay?” he asked me and I bury my face on chest and cried for no reason. I could feel his palm on my caress my back, telling me to calm down. He brought me out from the cinema as the police are arriving there. I was afraid with what I’ve looked just now. Yeah, that’s dead in abnormal condition and maybe also a loop of thriller circle. But what about the mistake to have been entrusted? Right now, I really can’t think a single think. My mind is still blank. “Are you fine now?” he asked me as we heading my house. I’m nodding and thanked him. I open my shoes and went inside. “I don’t think that you’re okay.” He said. I shut my mouth and keep walk inside. I could feel that he’s following me. I didn’t look at him or told him to leave. I think, at this time, I really need him right beside me. I’m heading my bedroom and he closes the door. I’m sitting on my bed and my whole body is still shaking. “You should get some rest.” Joonmyeon said and sit beside me. He hugs me and told me to not feel afraid anymore. “I’m not afraid. I just shocked.” I said slowly. “I’m here right now.” He said and releases the hug. “Don’t you want to get some rest now?” he asked and I nodded, crawl my body on my bed. He lies down beside me and holds my cold hand. “I’m counting.” He said. “Huh?” I asked. “We will get married, right?” he asked but I’m not replying. “Why? What’s wrong?” he asked. “I feel something is wrong.” I said. “What is it?” he asked.

Suddenly I heard someone is knocking my door. “Soojung-ah,” I didn’t reply anything but someone comes inside. It’s Junhee. I quickly get up from the bed. “Oh? I’m sorry...” she said and close the door. “Junhee-ah,” I called her out and walk outside. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know he’s here.” She said. “It’s okay. What is it?” I asked her because she won’t find me if there’s nothing important to tell. “Oh, it’s about the decay word. Here the pages. I’m making a copy of it.” She said while hand me a few pieces of paper. “When did you go out?” I asked. “I just back from the shop, actually. And I saw your shoes but I didn’t realize Joonmyeon’s shoes.” She said and takes the paper. “Thank you.” I said and she leaves. I come inside my room back and put the paper on my study table. “What she want?” Joonmyeon asked. “Oh, she gave me something. Well, a story. I wanna read it soon.” I said and lying back beside him. “I miss you, don’t you know?” he said and I just smiled away. “Where have you been?” I asked. “I’m working with my father. I’m sorry, I didn’t tell you earlier.” He said. “You have been so busy, huh?” I asked. “No. I wanted to tell you on that day, our last met day. But when you’re in front of me, I lost everything to say.” He said. “What a sweet mouth you have...” I said and he laughed. “I’m serious. You’re just like eraser. You erase everything that I wanna to say. How did you do it?” He said. “Is it me or your mind that have eraser?” I asked. He tugs my front hair and gives me his romantic gaze. “It’s you. You erase my everything. But then, you wrote it all back. You wrote the memories in every moment. You added the laughter in every smile. You build the happiness in every side. You create a path in every way.” He said and takes my hand on his chest. “And you causes it in every beat.” He said. I was speechless. My eyes started watering. He leans a warm kiss on my forehead. “You draw me to someone that is not me. You color out all my life with something that is so hard to found. You show me what the meaning of love.” He said, still playing around with his words. “Then what’s the meaning of love?” I asked. “Love? It’s you. But your love, it’s everything.” He said and I just smiled. “So the conclusion is...?” I asked. “You are my everything or your love is my everything. Which one you like?” he asked. “Love is feeling. I am a human. Feels will fade, human will die. So I don’t want to choose.” I said. “Don’t talk about it. I’m not ready to losing you.” He said. “Are you telling me that you’re afraid of losing me?” I asked and he nodded. “Well, you shouldn’t feel afraid of losing me. Time is running, you should afraid of the passing the time.” I said and he put his finger on my mouth, telling me to shut up. He hugs me and saying nothing. I know I’m hurting his feels.

Joonmyeon is sleeping on my bed so I walk towards my study table, plan to read the story that Junhee gives. It’s about a young couple named Jungha and Yeonmi who were having forbidden relationship. They were actually knew each other since in their childhood. They always met up at the hill and near the hill have a tree that they planted it when they were 10 years old. When they have grown up, they had fallen in love. One day, they met up at the hill and they found that the tree already old and the trees’ root started to decay. Jungha told Yeonmi that their love just like the decay root. It’ll slowly weak and die. “We will get depressed by watching our love of decay but someone will laugh thinking that our love just loneliness and wasted.” Jungha said to Yeonmi then the pages end. I want to know the end of the story but when I was about to walk to Junhee’s room, I heard Joonmyeon’s voice called me out, telling me to sleep. He said that he don’t want to go home because it’s already too late even though I know he want to be with me. I just smiled and lying down beside him. He hugs me and told me to sleep. I close my eyes, trying to sleep but I can’t because my mind keeps thinking about the end of the story.

I’m looking around me and I was at the beautiful field. The grass wasn’t looks dry but looks damp. I saw the only tree in front of me and I managed my step towards it. There’s a boy who’s sleeping against the tree and my eyes catch the decay root. I was startled and I heard a voice called my name at my back. I turn back and I saw a pretty girl walked towards me. “Where I am?” I asked. “You’re at The Field of Cries.” She said. “What do you want? Who are you?” I asked again. “I’m an angel to tell.” She said and I just shut my mouth. “You’ve been too late to catch up everything. Now you got only 70 days from your death.” She said. “But, why me?” I asked. “It’s not my fault. You choose it.” She said. “What do you mean?” I asked. “The paper for your last quotes has been sworn. What you write, hit you back.” She explained. “Who had sworn it? Why I got only 70 days?” I asked. “Why don’t you asked Yeonmi?” she said and she pointed at the tree. I was startled when I saw a girl and a boy were hanging on the tree’s branch. As I turn my sight to an angel, she already disappeared. I was afraid seeing the bodies hanged on the tree. Maybe because I’m alone, would you like to join me here?