Chapter 4

Shin Hye just came back from her photoshoot with Ceci magazine with the theme “HOTNESS”. She was cheerfully chosen to pose to commemorate her 10th year anniversary in the show business, wanting to show the previously charming and innocent child actress growing up into a hot blooded, lipstick-stained lady of the Korean beauty. She was asked to wear super enticing, elegant-looking yet skin revealing pieces such as short shorts, silk-made dresses, red lipstick and many more. This is to show how daring she could be, and how she could be able to seduce men from all ages. She was also asked to pose accordingly.

When the photoshoot ended, she immediately asked her Manager Oppa to go home.

“Oppa, I want to go home, I am not feeling well.”

She has never felt well since yesterday, ever since YH walked out her door, ever since she saw that face from YH—the face of a heartbroken, hurt, and bitter. She wanted to take her words back, to say she loves him most instead, but she lacked the necessary courage. She wanted to run to him when he walked out of her door, and kiss him in the lips instead, but her knees weakened. She wanted to go to where YH cried and lost temper, to console him but she can’t, because she felt hurt too, she felt heartbroken too, she felt bitter too.

“Shin Hye~ah!” Manager Jun called out. No answer.

“Shin Hye!” Manage Jun called again. No answer.

Finally, Manager tapped her. “Shin Hye~yah, gwenchannah?”, asked her manager. Shin Hye was startled when she felt a hand tapped her shoulder, from there, she woke up from her deep thinking and respectfully answered, “Neh! Oppa.”

“You look out of the world, you want to go to the hospital?” Manager Jun interrogated again.

“Aniyo, gwenchanneyo, I want home.” SH requested.


“Ah. . .” Manager Jun initiated.

“Shin Hye-ah, let me just drop you off in front of your house, my wife called me at home, she wants to celebrate our son’s 2nd birthday with me, hehehe, missed his 1st year birth day last year, she said, I won’t be able to enter our house if I miss this again.” Manager chuckles while touching the back of his neck.

“Neh, gwenchanna Oppa, I can manage.” Shin Hye shyly answered, she tried to put on her cheerful smile but was dismayed when, she too, can’t avail to do it.

When she has been dropped off in front of her house, she immediately looked for her bench outside of their terrace and tried to calm herself. She is literally exhausted from all her works but usually she endures it effectively. But today she isn’t just exhausted, she feels sick, ill because of what happens to her and to YH.

She wants her bed right now and cry herself to sleep so she stood up and was about to go inside when her phone rang. *please insert your favorite CNBLUE song*

Yong Hwa’s name was seen on the screen.

There was glint on her eyes. She felt hopeful, hopeful that whatever reason YH has for him to call her after what happen will definitely lift a thousand tons of burdens from her heart.

“Yong . . .” Shin Hye initiated.

“Shin Hye~yah . . .*breath* . . . manni appa. . .*breath*. . .” Shin Hye heard Yong Hwa breathing harshly from the other line.

“Are you ok, yah! Yong Hwa-yah, where are you now? Tell me where are you now?” SH shouted, almost wanting to squeeze her phone, believing it will give her an answer.

No more answer.

Without further ado, SH hurriedly went to their garage to ignite one of their cars. Out of the three, she chose the fastest one, her very own Red Land Rover auto.

As she drove her car in the highways of Gangnam, she calculated in her mind where could YH be at the moment. She was so frustrated when she couldn’t think straight. She hit her car’s steering wheel then, out of nowhere, she immediately remembered to use the GPS application YH installed in her phone, saying someday, it will help her. Fortunately it did. After she has found out that YH is in their dorm, she hurriedly stepped her accelerator hard and steady.

~~
“Yong Hwa~yah, gwenchanna?”

SH hurriedly entered the room to go directly to where YH is lying down, putting him in her arms. She took off her thick jacket and covered it to YH to promote heat after witnessing him shivering vigorously. She then wiped the sweat which has accumulated from YH’s forehead, it was a cold sweat.

“I’m here now, do not worry any more, oh? Shin Hye is here, I’m here now, oppa, I’m here now.”

She instantly shifted her position to hold YH’s weight and tried to lift him with all her might. YH is heavy, that’s for sure, but that didn’t matter to her, she didn’t care because as of that moment, she only thinks of him, his safety. When she was able to shift his weight to her body, she put his right arm around her shoulder for support and to stabilize their bodies. She then drags him inside his room down to his bed, covering him with his comforter.

When she was finished, she then hurriedly went to the kitchen to look for a basin, poured it with water then back to YH’s room. She immediately placed it over the bed side table, then, rose again to look for a face towel. She found one inside his cabinet.

Shin Hye wants to panic, she wants to shout out loud to ask for help, she wants to go out to ask for one, but she realized she could never do it, not yet, so she tried again to deep breath, to stay calm and continue with her work. She dipped the towel into the water, squeezed it, then, wiped it all over YH’s body.

She did that again and again. Non-stop. She felt no exhaustion, just anxiety.

When she thought YH’s fever had gone down, that was the only time she stopped what she has been doing. Releasing all the tension that has compiled, she cried, hard, noisily.

Her emotions as of the moment are mixed. She feels anxious, very anxious, she never thought she could get anxious like this, thinking YH won’t survive; she feels guilty too, blaming herself for doing this to YH. If she hasn’t said anything to him that time, this won’t definitely happen.

She then promised to herself she will put everything in the right place.

~~
Yong Hwa woke up, feeling a lot better. His fever went down, he could feel it. He doesn’t shiver anymore, not anymore, instead he feels warm, inside and out. His eyes are still closed wanting to prolong the comfort he feels, and to continue the dream that he has. He dreamed he was being taken care of Shin Hye when he thought he was about to die. He dreamed, she is here, by his side. He dreamed he can feel her, close. He feels her touch, he feels her care, he feels her heat. But everything he feels seems so true. Yes. He feels her, literally.

He opened his eyes.

He was right, it wasn’t a dream at all. She really is here, with him.

He is so happy, very happy. His heart melts. It actually hurts, hurts from the happiness that doesn’t seem to fit in it. The happiness that overflows. That is it, overflows. He feels the happiness that overflows. But he hesitated again. No. There is no word for it. None.

Shin Hye is there, sitting in a chair next to YH’s bed, sleeping her head next to Yong Hwa’s chest. She is holding his hand, tightly. It seemed like SH doesn’t want Yong Hwa to let go. She want him near her, always. He smiled.

Yong Hwa position himself to Fowler’s, with the desire to see Shin Hye’s face.

“She has been crying.” Yong Hwa thought.

Yong Hwa reached for Shin Hye’s face, removing first the hair that has been blocking the view. Yong Hwa wants to wipe the dried tears from her face and the anxiety that is plastered all over. He wants to erase them all in all. He wants them out of her beautiful face.

When he successfully removed everything that has been blocking her face, he stared at it, steadily. He moved his head to reach for her lips, to kiss all her exhaustion, worries and tears away. When the distance is only an inch away, he stopped.

“Not just that, everything, I’m sick and tired of everything. Everything with you is very risky, it’s like everything that I love, everything that I treasure is hanging right in front of my eyes ready to fall any moment. I’m sick and tired of it, I’M SICK AND TIRED OF YOU!”

His heart hurts. A lot. He removed Shin Hye’s hand that was tightly holding his.

He feels that he is just being pitied by her.

Because he needed help.

He got down from his bed to go out, leaving Shin Hye alone.

~~
SH fell asleep, but she made an effort to not sleep deeply, to stay alert in case YH’s fever will strike back. She stayed asleep at the same time awake. For YH.

She felt movement, from Yong Hwa’s side. She woke up. But she didn’t open her eyes. She sat still. She felt her hair being moved to one side. She knows, it was YH’s doing, she smiled inside. She feels Yong Hwa’s hand, touching her face, gently, carefully. She knows it was YH’s doing, she feels happy, overwhelmed, she wants more. Then she feels Yong Hwa’ breaths, coming close, closer.

“He is about to kiss me.” She thought inside.

She is relieved from everything she is scared of. Definitely.

Then he stopped, Shin Hye was shocked. She didn’t know what is happening, she wants to open her eyes but she couldn’t.

YH removed his hand from hers.

She wants to cry, to ask him why but her body betrayed her. She wants to panic. She wants to scream. She wants him to come back and continue with he was doing. She wants him back, all of him.

She stretched out her hand to feel YH, to think it was all but a dream. Nothing. He wasn’t there anymore.

Yong Hwa went out, leaving her alone.

~~
When Shin Hye heard the door closed. She opened her eyes and started to cry, silently.

She stayed like that for almost 10 minutes but she decided to go out, to talk to him. She wiped the tears from her face then breathed deeply.

Inhale and exhale.

She tried to put on her composure and show him that she didn’t know that what happen awhile ago. She stood up, walked to the door and plastered a “newly awaken” look.

~~
YH heard the door opened. He turned to her.

“YH~yah, are you ok?” Shin Hye asked. She hurriedly went near YH to check for his temperature. She stretched out her had to reach for his forehead. She barely touched his skin when YH slapped it away using his right hand.

“I’m fine, get your things, I’ll send you home.” YH said in a cold voice.

“Yong Hwa-ssi, I’m checking your temperature, you had a fever a while ago.” Shin Hye said, ignoring YH’s behavior. She reached out for his forehead again.

“I said I’m fine.” YH shouted, pushing her hand again. “Get you things, I’ll send you home.” YH said.

“Why are you like this? You called me and I’m here!” Shin Hye blurted out, wanting to cry, badly.

“That’s it, I’m just being pittied because I asked for help”, YH thought, leaving him a bitter taste in his mouth and producing bigger frown on his face.

“Ahhh, thank you . . . for helping me, I owe you a lot.” YH said sarcastically. “And, sorry for calling you. I forgot, YOU WERE SICK AND TIRED OF ME, weren’t you?” YH smirked, he turned away from Shin Hye to walk to the door.
Shin Hye had enough; she can’t take the pain anymore, the pain from YH’s words and the pain she sees from YH’s face. She wants that pain out of YH. All of them. She run to YH, hugging him from the back, tightly, making sure he won’t escape from her grip. She didn’t care if YH can’t breath, she didn’t care if she can’t too. All she wants is to remove all the pain away.

“I’m sorry, YH~yah, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do these things to you, I only said that because I was weak that time. I didn’t trust you, I didn’t trust myself either. I shouldn’t have said those things to you. I was wrong.” Shin Hye cried heartily, wetting Yong Hwa’s back.

“I’m sorry!”

YH was surprised when he was hugged from the back. He wants to struggle at first, to escape from her grip, he doesn’t want to listen anymore, he doesn’t want to be pitied anymore, he doesn’t want that. All he wants is Shin Hye’s love, not pity. He tried to move his feet to continue walking but he couldn’t move, he feels SH’s strength. She won’t let him go. Never. He realized that so he patiently waited until SH said

“I’m Sorry, I love you, only you!”

He couldn’t breath, but he didn’t care. He holds SH’s two hand that were tightly clasped with each other and insidiously loosened them. When SH’s hand has been unlocked, he immediately turn to SH, facing her, almost hugging.

“I’m sorry, too!” YH uttered, smiling, lifting SH’s chin using his right forefinger so that SH can see his tears falling down his cheeks. SH saw them, his tears, but YH’s face has already brighten up she didn’t care about the tears anymore. She heard him utter the words too.

“I love you too, only you!”

From her chin, YH then moved his hand to hold her jaw, moving his head to meet her lips. His lips touched hers gently, allowing her to stop crying. He then moved his lips slowly, covering hers. Shin Hye started to respond by gently moving her lips rhythmically with his, producing a very sweet, yet hungry kiss from them. They feel like they are the only two people in the world as happy as they are.

~~
At exactly 11 pm, Jong hyun, Min hyuk and Jung Shin, together with their manager arrived in their dorm, happily, not knowing YH’s condition. They were chatting and laughing, talking about their get together with the FNC talents and their friends. When they reached their dorm, Jung shin was tasked to open the pass-worded door, giving mild tantrums.

He opened it immediately and entered the room and removing his shoes . . .


facing the couple doing the K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

Jung Shin was astounded.

He stopped with his attempt to remove his shoes, his eyes as wide as the kick snare and his mouth wide open.

Jong Hyun immediately covered Jung Shin’s eyes using his hand and throw him back outside
.
“HHHHMMMMM. . .” Jong Hyun coughed.

The couple stopped, embarrassed.

Jong Hyun composed himself, making an eye contact with his hyung.

“Hyung, she will be my wife.” Jong Hyun coolly said.