Author: RedGuitarist
Title: Being Afflicted
Story Link: Read it here
Genre: Romance, Angst
Characters: Jung Hyun Ji (OC), Kim Seok Jin (BTS), Lee Howon (Infinite), BTS
Pairings: Jin x OC, Howon x OC

Specific Parts to look out for: Character developments, flow of story, awkward sentence structures

Questions: What kind of readers would this story of mind attract?

Reviewer wanted: Doesn't Matter
LIVE review: No

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Review by TheParakeet

Introduction

When I first read the story I felt that every character was very mysterious, from the OC to the main male lead Jin and even the rest of Bangtan, even though they seem pretty quiet so far.

Overall

This is a good descriptive piece of work and the characters are very compelling.

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Allure - 8/10

The title itself screams angst. Well, not really angst, but rather the implication that something very wrong is going on. Afflicted has a strong negative vibe to it and the audience will begin to wonder what does it mean. Could the characters be diseased or cursed or just have something more than a little off about them? The title is surprisingly effective and I like it.

Foreword - 5/5

Despite being a flashback, the events depicted in the foreword clearly set the tone for the story and hint at the OC's backstory in dark and sinister way. this is a compelling foreword and is not deceptive or misleading in any way.

Originality - 8/10

Cursed characters are something which can be viewed as original since most readers are accustomed to a protagonist who exemplifies typical good guy traits. 

Characters - 13/15

The characters are very well fleshed out and we can see how their afflictions rule or ruin their everyday lives, from the OC coming down with migraines and having bad dreams and drawing pictures of a boy whom is the key to the mystery, to jin having a huge secret of his own, to the sadness of a father and daughter separated by the glass barrier of a prison visitation room.

Plot - 13/15

I personally love stories where everyone is bad or flawed and which impart a sense of foreboding dread, which you have managed to achieve. You are excellent at foreshadowing without giving too much away, and the reader will be able to pick up the hints which you drop throughout the story, which may encourage them to participate in the clue hunt and follow the characters along as the plot unfolds so the reader too can solve the mystery.

WOW factor - 9/10

I was coursing through the story until I arrived at the part where Jin turns violent and says that he is afraid of himself in the mirror.

That was the most WOW moment for me.

Jin is afflicted too, with a condition that just screams Jekyll and Hyde.

He is probably the Big Bad. I hope he is the Big Bad. i'm hoping the secrets he's hiding to be the most mindblowingly awesome in the story.

Writing Style - 8/10

Your writing is very descriptive and allows the reader to immerse themselves in the world which you have created. I could imagine all the events in my minds eye very clearly.

General Structure - 8/10

I find the structure to have very good flow and there was nothing that would break the reader's attention to the story.

Descriptive Influence - 5/5

You do have very clear and vivid description and it is possible to enjoy reading your fic as if one is at the movies, with precise imagery.

Overall score: 77/90 = 85.6

Report card rating = AWESOME! Revise a bit and you're a SUPERSTAR!

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Question and Answer Time

What kind of readers would this story attract?

The story would attract the kind of reader who loves a good dose of mystery in their fiction, who enjoys reading about chracters would have Dark And Troubled Pasts, who are analytical and perceptive and who regularly partake in forming scenarios in their head and (especially in my case) fans of a potentially villainous Jin.