22
Bermuda Triangle
The aftermath was worse than I had expected, if I had expected anything; he was banging on the door and beckoning me to exit the room. I had locked myself in for hours and hunger commenced war with depression, honestly if I dragged this out any further I would receive battle scars as well. This was what position I placed myself in though, I was indirectly asking for this internal obliteration and now I had to suffer and sacrifice myself into the flames, only hoping to be abandoned with a numb feeling.
Hyunwoo's voice was just another sharp edge piercing into my heart, slicing open the wounds that were just beginning to heal. He sounded so distraught and heart-aching that I almost caved in after the second time he murmured my name, his voice took me to another paradise but now I wasn't too sure if it was a luxury beach or a demolished, hollow building filled with no one but the whistling wind.
"Te Areum," he caught my attention, his fist pounded the door then rested against it. "Please let me in to explain myself. I know it seems bad but if you let me tell you everything, you'll see why I said that."
"You shouldn't have said it at all," I broke through my tears, my raspy voice hoarse from sobbing. I could almost hear him sigh in relief- because I answered him for the least- and the slight creek of the door as his head leaned against it. He hadn't gave up hollering and beating the door for three straight hours, for some reason he didn't become exhausted with me not replying to his requests.
I trailed over to the door, hesitatingly turning the knob, not acknowledging the possiblility of this being an idiotic decision. His eyes traveled from his feet to my eyes, sparking up with combusting hope and delight but there wasn't a smile on his lips because he knew that I wasn't my best at the moment and it wouldn't be a logical idea to. Before I could mutter something, I found myself embraced in his arms, his warmth that I could only dream of but now I witnessed first hand how enticing and entrancing just a simple action could be.
"I'm so sorry," his hand that was around me reached to protect the back of my head, gravitating me to his chest. "Please forgive me."
Those words, were fragile, that were so brittle and such a mutter that my heart shattered; the pieces that commenced to reconstruct just dispersed like dropped glass. Tears began to spill, not out of sorrow but out of something utterly different; new-found hope, relief washing me clean of all my guilts and grudges. My hands came around to clutch fistfuls of his shirt, as I sobbed into his chest. He didn't break away as I expected him to, he only yanked me closer to his body, maybe he was finally accepting me for once.
"Let me explain." He grabbed my face, gently with his huge hands, and gazed into my eyes. I couldn't feel anything, I was just breathing as my heart increased. It was when his eyes darted to lower to my lips then back to my eyes that butterflies were at a frenzy in my stomach, giving no second thought if I was alright.
He then grasped my hand, intertwining our fingers to guide me to the center of the room then gesturing me to the space in front of him before he sat himself.
I still haven't spoken a word, my voice would emit a raspy and unpleasant noise from using it only once in wasted hours, I let him do all the talking since he had some confusion to clear between us.
He glanced at his lap out of a sudden reluctance but he then continued to grasp my eyes and braced himself.
"The only reason I agreed with her.." he didn't dare to repeat those cursed words. "..was because I thought it stop her bullying you. You're not as strong as you think, I can see your expression when she says something snappy at you. I can see you break and tear with each word she says to you. I thought by agreeing with her and giving her stupid engagement thing would make her stop but it won't and now I don't know what to do. I was the one who caused all of this and I have to solve this."
It all made sense after he enunciated each scenario and the reason behind it, that he wasn't acting out of a harsh, white anger but in an indistinctive protecting and affectionate matter. He was trying to shield and conceal me from her actions but it wasn't working for the both of us, he was attempting to solve the problem that I created which I should have handled myself and confront Krystal about it; question as to why me, why even put an effort in ruining my life when it was already covered in debris and surrounded by chunks of destruction.
"I'm not even going to mention the engagement tomorrow to not give her what she wants, and I've been really thinking about that. It's not only that I don't love her, it's because I'm in love with you."
He didn't even allow me time to regain my senses- my heart was racing against a freight train and my thoughts were humbled, words and phrases didn't make any sense- from those powerful words that he truly meant and was now confessing to me. He continued to stumble over his own words once he realized he confessed his love for me, a rosy, peach color devouring his cheeks in embarrassment; not because he was in love with me but because those words slipped without him noticing, maybe he was saving them but they wanted free themselves.
"I-uh.. I wanted you to know that I've been watching over you, and I've learned things about you that I thought were things so small but interesting. Things like you don't like your rice touching other parts of the food, and you scratch your nose when you're thinking, and that you look at me when you think I don't notice." He cleared his throat at the final part, his blush gradually becoming more prominent. "I really wanted you to know that I wasn't ignoring you out of spite, or hurting you purposely, I was trying to protect you from her."
Hyunwoo rose from where he was previously seated, he slightly ducked his head to bid a goodbye but I couldn't allow him to exit simply without confessing something myself. Something in my mind or heart- a sudden yet brief courage- energized me to chase after him, to clear things up on my half as well. It was only when he was halfway to his room I clutched onto his wrist, slightly wrenching him back. His eyes widened but to witness what I would say, and a small tug of his lips displayed his satisfaction.
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