20
Bermuda Triangle
Play, Listen & Read
My body trembled, my throat closed and no air was escaping nor entering, and I thought any moment I would either pass out or die. A pounding was beating in my ears and stirring my brain within my skull, I was going to vomit. This couldn't be happening, I was dying as Hyunwoo was staring straight into my soul, and it shouldn't hurt this bad but I couldn't lie anymore because it does.
That was the end of it, Krystal abandoned the both of us- to shop for a new dress in glee and cheerfulness- with an ere silence that no words could create a sound loud enough to overcome this awkwardness. Cupid's arrow and himself was a lie, a false and inaccurate statement, I found interest in Hyunwoo but this, this pain was unbearable. If loving him would mean that I would have to under this pressure and excruciation, I'd rather have never met him; but once again, I was the one meddling in his life and it was my fault that I acknowledged nothing of that tiny fact. Not that I would've found out, it was that we never conversed anymore, the car rides contained no communication, and we went our separate ways at school and at home- but it wasn't out of hatred or disgust for each other, it was basically and only because we didn't have any spare time and something to talk about. It wasn't like I could avoid him entirely because even I know I wasn't able to do something as little as that.
I grabbed the edge of the table to stablize myself, regaining my breath and sense of balancing within seconds. He had rushed to confront or assist me- I didn't know his intentions- and I didn't notice he was next to me until his warm breath dispersed over the skin of my neck. My eyes were combusting into flameless tears, and the pressure that comes before sobbing pressed against the bridge of my nose. I was going to cry, in front of him, but I wasn't going to allow him witness that side of me.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I ripped my shoulder away from where his hand was planted on me, a betrayed and devastated feeling submerging me into the ocean of desperation; I was trying to retain my head above the surface of the suffocating liquid but I was drowning and depression was pulling me by the ankles.
"We're not getting married, I can promise that." He attempted to collect me, to grab onto my shoulders but I swatted and slapped his hands away. "I just want to give her the satisfaction that she wants so she can just go and flaunt her ring. She doesn't want to get married to me, she only wants my family's bank account."
"What the hell is wrong with you?! How could you think like that? She's completely in love with you." Tears commenced to tumble and fall down my cheeks but I desired that my will would them back up. "If I would've known I didn't have even the slightest chance with you, I wouldn't have wasted all this time!"
"W-Wait, what?" His arms were resting against his towering and well-built frame, even the sight of them were oppressive. "You mean you actually like me?"
It was merely a week or two that I have accepted the idea that my heart was thrashing against my internal strength for him. Throughout those weeks, thoughts only consisted of him, his grin that displayed his perfect, pearly-white teeth, the way his hair cascaded before his eyes when he didn't have it gelled, the way his arm propped against the console of the car when he checked his phone, his intense stare and genuine eyes; everything that dealt him I slowly began to fall in love with.
"Yeah, maybe I do but that doesn't matter because you never glanced in my direction the way you look at Krystal! I will always be that poor girl from that poor district, that girl that will always ruin your image and life," my voice was cracking and wavering. I was gone- I traveled too far away into the earth that I couldn't dig myself out and I wanted to just die there, he knows the way I feel now- utterly lost in his eyes but my mind said no more, no more allowing this guy to step all over you.
"I have never thought of Krystal more than a friend. She just tries to get close with me so I can give her the attention she's dying for, even if it was for a second," he staggered closer to me. "The only reason that she acts like she's so in love with me is because of you."
My knees involuntarily languished beneath me, my entire body collapsing to the floor in one mass. What I was hearing as of this moment had to be a fluke, a false statement, it couldn't be proved true; even my head was shaking in disbelief.
"Then what about that time?" I confronted him, my eyes daring to mingle with his confused ones.
It took him a few wasted seconds to remember- something that occurred yesterday afternoon, just after school- or discover what I was speaking of. He never acknowledged the fact that his window was cracked down even the slightest for someone like me to pick through his conversation with Krystal. It had hurt me, pained me to ponder on what he said must've been true but even hearing myself bringing it up now and thinking back on it, it still was an excruciating stab in the heart; maybe I never really got over anything. I've repeatedly informed myself on how I felt, that what he muttered about me shouldn't to be of my concern and shouldn't bring me down to the slumps.
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