After my last shift of the day I decided to visit Kibum again for alone time. Besides he doesn’t have much time left. My shoulders sagged. I’m a horrible dongsaeng.

Thinking back today was weird. How did the gang know about me? Did they really stalk me? Or did they know me from before? If they did, I don’t remember anyone of them.

I reached Kibum’s room and smiled at him. He smiled back, but looked like he was preoccupied with something else.

“Kibum, what are you worried about?” Stupid question. Stupid, stupid question. What kind of question was that.

“Leeteuk and Yesung. They seem familiar, but I can’t think of where I knew them from. All I can remember is that they’re not exactly from Happy Memories Collection,” he said distractedly. Then he shook his head, “Other than that, they’re really great guys…by the way, how did you guys meet?”

“Um…we sort of bumped into each other,” if I told him they were a gang he’d bite my head off. He just nodded, not catching my lie, meaning he still wasn’t paying attention to me. “I’m going to go…work.” I lied again, wondering if he’d catch it this time.

Again he nodded, “See you later.”

I sighed and walked out of the room.

_______________________

I unlocked the door of my apartment and threw the keys onto the counter. I dropped my bag onto the couch and sighed while searching through the mail. Hospital bills, more bills and then I stopped. My heart dropped when I saw the uniformly yellow envelope.

The one everyone's been getting. Lots of people could be heard screaming and sobbing in their homes or on the street. All of them holding the same yellow envelope. It was taboo, no one talked about it. *Please* I prayed, *not me, please*. I opened it and my heart dropped even further, Kibum's name was on it. Not mine, but my brother's.

I screamed with frustration. It wasn't fair! The last person who deserved the letter was Kibum. My eyes welled with tears as I remember my happy past, before, when we didn't know Kibum had cancer. Sunny Saturdays spent out soaking the sun, always laughing and together.

I was still thankful, that we didn't find out too late or it could've been much more worse. Thankful that I still had 4 jobs, saving money for his surgery. Thankful for new friends to keep Kibum happy while I was working. Thankful for my new job and my great boss.

I looked at the phone beside me and stared at the number I had written beside it in case I’d use it later. *I have no choice, I have too* and with that I reached over and dialled the number.

"Hello?" said Leeteuk.

"I'll join." I said simply. I felt him smile from across the line.

"I'll give you the money tomorrow," he said, "Welcome to our gang."

________________________

I didn’t sleep at all last night. How could I? Did I make the right decision? I hope so.

I went to Onew’s store where the gang told me to meet them. I opened the door and smiled at Onew. I sat down where Leeteuk sat when I served them. It was barely a minute before they came and sat around me, pulling extra chairs.

Leeteuk sat down in front of me with a plump envelope in his hands. He slid it over to my side of the table.

“First off,” he started, “We’re not a bad gang. We’re more like…” He struggled for a word.

“Secret Santas?” said Donghae.

“Yeah, secret Santas. Even though people think we’re bad, we’re actually only helping people who are able to think and act like humans should. People like us. We didn’t tell you earlier, because some of us thought we couldn’t trust you even though you’re…” he stopped talking.

Heechul continued, “We don’t hurt anybody, even if they’re bad. The only reason we pretend to be a gang is so that people don’t hurt us. If they found us scary, they wouldn’t question our actions and what we do.”

Henry smiled, “You’ve got nothing to worry about, we’re not going to make you kill somebody or something like that.”

“You don’t have to work anymore either. We’ll provide you everything we need.”

I brightened, this was great. This is way better than I expected. I was doing good things to people who deserved it, getting Kibum cured and I didn’t have to worry about money anymore.

“But…” Great, there was a but. “You can’t see Kibum anymore.”

My stomach, heart and jaw dropped to the ground. “WHAT?! Why not?! B-B…H-he’s..WHAT?!” My mouth opened and closed.

“No one can know about what we do and we can’t have more than ten people in our gang. Too much members and people could get suspicious.”

“Not even a visit?” I asked meekly.

“You can visit once a year, we’ll come too,” said Yesung.

“Can I say bye to him?”

“Yeah, but today’s the last day. You’re moving in with us.”

My head spun around. Then I got up, “I’m going now. Are you coming with me?”

“Yes,” they all said.

We all walked in to hyung’s room. He looked up and smiled like always. I’ll miss that smile. He looked behind me and frowned.

“Hi hyung, I need to tell you something.” He looked at me again and smiled.

“Yes?”

Should I tell him? I thought about it for a moment. He'd never let me go, and he's going to make me feel so guilty. I can't say no now, I need Kibum to be cured.

I brought out the envelope Leeteuk gave me, “I got the money!” I said instead.

His smile got even wider, “That’s great!”

I held his hand and smiled at him, holding back my tears. “Yeah, it is great.” We stayed like that for a while, ignoring the rest of the guys who were awkwardly standing beside me. Henry broke into tears, “I’m sorry,” he said and rushed out of the room. ZhouMi followed.

I slowly pulled back, “I’m going to give your doctor the money.” He only nodded.

“Bye,” I said. His eyebrows furrowed for a second, when I dropped my bag on to the floor. They had the house keys, wallet and anything else he might need.

I walked out and the gang followed. I gave the doctor the money and asked him not to tell Kibum that I left. He looked confused, but then nodded.

I looked at Kibum through the door and whispered bye one more time. Walking out of the hospital, I didn’t look back.

I nearly cried when I wrote this chapter.

I decided to write a last chapter before school starts in a couple of hours TT_TT NOOOOO!!!  I’m still going to write, just less frequently…

Cause I’m lazy I’ve compromised with myself that I’m going to make the poster when I get 15 subscribers… *crossing my fingers* or if one of my lovely readers can make one for me :/ Just don’t expect a good poster from me, it’s going to soooo much.

INFINITE!!! I was listening to them while writing this…I know all of their names, but not their faces <---me being lazy again. THEY’RE SUCH AWESOME DANCERS!!! THEY’VE GOT AMAZING MVS THAT MAKE YOU THINK UNLIKE SOME OTHER ONES I COULD NAME. It's sad how they don't have even 1million views on BTD, they totally deserve it.

Hehe anyway everyone have a good day!! …FIGHTING!!!