I stood in front of the dreaded door of my brother's house. Where did they say they got their money from again?

What am I going to say once I come inside? Will I say, I'm Home!, with a smile on my face? Is this place even feel like home to me?

I did call Leeteuk hyung that I had stayed over at Sungmin's place, so I'm probably not going to be scolded. He didn't seem to happy about it, but it's better than not telling him. 

What about Heechul? He might still be mad, but that's unlikely. I've seen him get mad, but after a few hours of lashing out at anyone in particular, he can easily forgive and forget whatever happened. That's the beauty of Heechul. 

I contemplated whether I should ring the door bell, knock or just open the door. I do sort of live here, but I wasn't given a key. There's also the possibility of me accidently seeing something I shouldn't see if I entered without knocking. 

Why is this so hard?

I looked back behind me. Sungmin was waiting behind me to make sure I got home safely. His hands were in his pocket and he swayed back and forth on his heels, blowing into the sky. His head was ducked into his scarf and he shivered lightly. I should make him stop waiting for me and just open the door. I quickly turned away and pretended I wasn't looking at him when he turned to see what was taking me so long. 

I can't believe how big of a fool I've made myself in front of Sungmin last night. 

Okay, I admit, I do sort of have a small, tiny crush on Sungmin. Still do, even after...

I sadly looked back at the door. What a pity. 

It was awkward walking to Sungmin's place. Neither of us knew what to say. 

It was more awkward yet when we walked through his door. We settled down on his couches. 

I looked at my watch that said 18:23.

His apartment was pretty decent, a little plain, but decent. One bedroom with some personal stuff. A kitchen with a stocked refrigerator. A bathroom. Lastly, a small living room with two love-seats and a coffee table. The wonderful thing about the living room was the huge window it had that looked over most of Seoul. It didn't look down, so we didn't have to see the dull streets filled with distrusting people. Instead we saw the better part of Seoul, the large expanse of high-rises with tons of roosting birds on the roof-tops, the different shades of the sky and the clouds painted in between. 

The awkward silence turned less awkward and more companionable. 

The only eerie thing about Sungmin's apartment was how similar it was to my old one. The one Kibum hyung was currently occupying.

That is only if he still decided to stay there. I hope he did. How else would I be able to contact him?

I turned my attention away from the view and looked around the living room. There were a few jackets strewn haphazardly over the backs of the couches. The curtains were a sickly, bright yellow, the sofas being brown. Was he that desperate?

I made sure Sungmin was still looking out the window, his gaze was thoughtful as he looked at the sun poking from between some clouds and a building. I looked at the coffee table that had paper scattered around. Some of them were envelopes that contained things I probably shouldn't look at. I think I saw a few phone numbers, which I took and hid in my pocket for reasons unknown. 

Then I saw something that made me smile. I grabbed the music sheets and smiled at the word "Piano" written on the top of each page.

"Do you play?" he asked.

"Used to," I looked longingly at the notes. Still remembering how to read them. My fingers tapped a long forgotten song on my lap.

Kibum wanted me to try out new things and try to be "as normal as possible". He saw how the rest of the kids were forced by their parents to learn an instrument until they decided that they were in charge of their own life. He expected me to do the same, but instead I loved the piano. Eventually he had to tear me away, the lessons took more money than we could afford. Kibum hyung learnt to never treat me like a normal kid. It just didn't work for me. 

I still remembered my piano teacher. She was a year younger than me and instructed me on her huge keyboard that cost about the same as a piano. I was 15 back then, she was 14. It was a bit late to start learning, but Kibum hyung always believed in a second chance. She was a good teacher, but I know she didn't enjoy playing the piano. I know her parents force her to play.

I think she might've even had a crush on me.  

I put the papers down, realizing how silly I looked, hugging the papers to my face.

I sat back and pretended to continue looking out the window and ignored Sungmin looking at me. I was used to the pity, but I wasn't used to acknowledging it.

"I have a small keyboard in my room. You want to play?" he asked softly.

I was already walking towards his room. He heard him chuckle behind me and walked off to do something else.

That wasn't the embarrassing part. That came later. This was when we were getting along together.

 My hand reached hesitantly for the door. I knocked, waited a bit, then opened the door. I waved to Sungmin who waved backed and walked away. 

I entered and took off my shoes, putting on my slippers that were waiting patiently for me by the door. 

"I'm back!" I said. 

"Hey! Was that Kyuhyun?" said someone. 

"I think that was," said another. 

"Kyuhyun!" shouted Yesung and he ran and hugged me. "I missed you so much! Don't ever leave me! It's horrible! Hyung went crazy on Heechul, and he could've died, but Hangeng stopped him, but then Teukie hyung nearly killed him too! And then everyone started to take sides and went all dibidibi on everyone else all because you left!"

Yesung hyung took a deep breath and his head drooped on my shoulder. He's probably joking. 

"Ignore him, he's being dramatic," said Leeteuk hyung from behind me. He peeled a whimpering Yesung off of me and hugged me in turn. 

They walked me into the living room and one by one people came in to say hi then going back to whatever they were doing. 

"So," said Leeteuk hyung. 

"So," said Yesung hyung. 

Both of them were smiling at me. 

"I missed you guys?" I said with a doubtful tone. What they want to hear from me?

Their faces got closer to mine. 

Yesung rolled his eyes as if to say, of course you did, "What happened at that cute boy's place?"

Oh. 

"Um...We ate dinner." That's true, I don't think I'm going to tell them what happened. 

"And...?"

"He had a keyboard!" I yelled out and jumped out of my seat. Maybe I can distract them with this. "And he let me play! I've always wanted to play for so long! It felt like forever since I've touched a piano. It was so much fun."

I jumped up and down and pretended to be like Yesung. 

"Why didn't you use our piano?" asked Leeteuk. 

I stared in shock. This wasn't acting. 

"We have a piano?!" and when I saw them nod I yelled out, "We have a piano! Where?!" Come on!! Tell me!" I really wasn't acting anymore. 

They led me to a small room that I'd never noticed before. You had to enter from the backyard, even though it was still a part of the house. 

How big is this place? And again, where on earth do they get the money from?

"Why do we have to enter from the backyard?"

"It's much easier to sound proof, took less money. And we had to sound proof it because Wookie would've made us all deaf."

"Ryeowook plays?" That was a bit hard to believe. The piano is a gentle instrument. How can someone who nearly killed me just a few days ago, play the piano?

Well, as soon as we entered I heard just a little bit of what he short graceful person sitting on the bench was playing before he banged on the keys and angrily turned to us. I winced from the harsh way he pushed on the delicate keys.

"How many times do I have to say, I don't want anyone to listen to me. And especially not you, Yesung." Ryeowook said when he saw Yesung open his month. 

Yesung hyung looked a bit hurt, but then he brightened up a bit, "Kyuhyun knows how to play the piano too. You'll have to share the piano with him Wookie."

Yesung still looked a bit bruised. 

Again, Ryeowook banged on the keys. He stood up and pushed the bench backwards, almost making it fall, and stormed out. Yesung followed and tried to catch up to him. 

I quickly ignored them and turned back to the piano. I felt affronted for the piano. How could Ryeowook do something to the polished, nut-brown piano. It looked like chocolate. 

I softly touched the white keys, occasionally touching a black. My fingers ghosted over the memories of long forgotten songs. I sighed wistfully. 

I practiced a bit with Sungmin's keyboard, but it felt weird. It felt cramped and small, like I my fingers would run out of space to play. They keys didn't feel like they were meant to feel like and it felt slightly off tune. It gave me a weird itch. 

I closed my eyes and kept my back straight. I hoped that this piano would at least be tuned well enough for me. 

I pressed one note, C, loud and clear it soared across the room. I smiled, it was good enough. 

I continued and pressed another note, until I felt relaxed enough to play. I played the short and fast note I'd learned at Sungmin's apartment. It was a random sheet that I'd found. 

My fingers felt tight after not playing for 5 years. I'm surprised I still remembered anything. My fingers slipped and fell, pressing wrong keys everywhere and messing up the most of the song. 

I finished and smiled. I felt really good. 

I heard a breath and I started.

Oh. Leeteuk hyung's still here.

He wore a matching grin. 

"You ," he laughed. I laughed with him, but I will get better. 

He laughed harder. It wasn't that funny. I looked at him weirdly. 

"You ," he said again, "If you think you can get past your older brother." What's he talking about?

"Come on. Spill it. What happened at Sungmin's?" he said, this time he looked completely serious. 

I wasn't getting out of this one. 

"Before dinner, he invited someone over to eat with us."

"A guy?" said hyung with a worried look on his face. I shook my head. 

"Her name was Amber."

"What about her?" he looked confused.

"She's a tom-boy."  Tears threatened to spill from my eyes. I glared at the ground in spite. 

"Is she his sister?"

"No, she was his girlfriend."

Just want you all to know that I have nothing against Amber. She is in fact, the first Kpop female that I sort of liked. I mean, she's cool. 

I also want you all to know that I am very much alive. And breathing. (Title goes both ways, Kyuhyun and I are both back. :D)

I was sort of going through a this-story- phase. But after sort of talking it out with my dongsaeng, I'm fine. 

Anyways, Happy (late) New Years! I hope 2012 is filled with lots of awesome for everyone!~

If anyone is a little lost about the story, just comment and I'll answer your questions on your wall.

Thank you for your support.