“Guilt isn't always a rational thing. Guilt is a weight that will crush you whether you deserve it or not.” 
― Maureen Johnson, Girl at Sea

“Shin...hye...yahh...” Yonghwa mumbled, still shocked.

Joohyun could feel the situation around her became awkward. Yonghwa suddenly grabbed her hand, and squeezed it softly, as if he wanted to make her wife sure that everything was alright.

Or he wanted to make himself sure that everything was alright?

Joohyun could see Shinhye's confusion.

"Woaahhh...Shinhye-yahh! I don't know you already back to Seoul. I thought you're still in LA!" It was Jonghyun who broke the ice first and suddenly hugged Shinhye warmly.

"We didn't intend to not invite you. But it's good if you'll join us. Let's celebrate Yonghwa’s wedding together!" Jonghyun added.

"What?" Shinhye asked immediately, surprised, as she looked towards Yonghwa who smiled bitterly.

Once again, Joohyun could feel Yonghwa squeezed her hands. His hand became sweaty.

"Joohyunnie, meet my best friend, no I mean our best friend, Park Shinhye," It was still Jonghyun who initiative to introduced them. "And Shinhye-yahh, let me introduce Yonghwa's wife, Seo Joohyun."

"W-wife?" Shinhye asked silently.

Joohyun could see a pain in Shinhye eyes as she became teary.

"It's a long story, Shinhye-yahh. I'll tell you later." Finally Yonghwa said something to her, as he clenched Joohyun hand.

Shinhye looked at Joohyun but still couldn't manage her expression.

Joohyun nodded lightly as she smiled to her. "Annyeong haseyo~ Seo Joohyun imnida~ Bangapseumnida~" Joohyun said.

Shinhye looked trembling at first, but finally she smiled to Joohyun.

"Park Shinhye imnida." She replied shortly.

"Yahh! Why are you guys gathering here?" Minhyuk who just came back from bathroom joined the conversation, but when he saw Shinhye, "Shin-hye...noona?"

Shinhye looked towards Minhyuk. She looked surprised slightly but smiled to him in the end.

"Ow..oww.." Yoona grumbled with low tone. But Joohyun understood that the lovely neighbor who become Minhyuk crush all this time was Park Shinhye.

Situation grew more complex without they realized it.

"Can we start the party? I'm so hungry!" Thanks to Jungshin who broke the awkwardness.

"Yeahhh. Let's eat!" Yoona added as she pull Joohyun arm.

But the situation was already awkward. Their moods were totally bad. Even Jungshin jokes couldn't melt the situation.

Yonghwa still held Joohyun’s hand and just released it everytime he needed to feed himself. After that, he grabbed Joohyun’s hand again.

Joohyun realized that Yonghwa looked like afraid to look at her or to Shinhye. Joohyun knew that there was something more than best friend between them. She felt so guilty because of that.

"I just remember that I have to finish my editorial for tomorrow." Finally Shinhye got up from her sat, but no reaction from everybody. So she added, "Congratulation for your wedding. See you next time~"

Joohyun could see Shinhye clenched hard a paper bag as she walked out of the room.

"Fiuuuhhhh..." Jungshin exhaled so obviously right after Shinhye left.

Jonghyun suddenly got up too, "Ahh I hate it, but looks like my role as good a best friend is needed, right?" Jonghyun talked to Yoona who confused by his sudden statement. "Just enjoy your party, guys! See you next time~"

Jonghyun walked out to chase after Shinhye.

Joohyun felt more guilty because of that. She was dying from curiosity but too afraid to asked Yonghwa.

***

Yonghwa opened the bathroom door after he finished take a bath and saw his wife sat on the bed as she read a book.

His heart clenched because of guilty. He forgot to tell Joohyun about Shinhye whereas Jonghyun already reminded him three days ago.

He took a deep breath before finally he sat on the bed.

"Hyun-ahh" Yonghwa broke the ice and succeed make Joohyun looked at him. "I need to explain something." He said to the point.

Then he moved to sit right beside his wife and reached her hand.

Joohyun didn't say anything. She just looked at Yonghwa, waiting.

Suddenly the nervousness hit him. Joohyun’s eyes were so clear and it made his heart thumping more crazily.

But seemed like he silent too long, so Joohyun needed to pat his arm slightly and smiled warmly.

"It's oke, Oppa." She said. "Don't force yourself, if it's hard to tell me right now." Joohyun added as smiled reassuringly.

Thump! Yonghwa didn't know what the reason of his crazy heartbeat right now. It's because of guilty feeling or her smile?

Yonghwa smiled too as he rubbed her hands back. "No Joohyun-ahh, I need to tell you. I need to clear everything. You're my wife, so you have a right to know everything about me.

I didn't intend to hide everything from you. There were so many things that happened since our wedding, and I forget to tell you about this."

Yonghwa took a deep breath again before he continued his explanation. "Me, Jonghyun, and Shinhye are best friends since we're in High School. I emphasize here, Hyun-ahh, I'm not giving you an excuse, I'm being honest right now. So, if you could predict it, there are no pure friendship between boy and girl. Yes, I had a feeling towards her more than just a best friend."

Yonghwa could feel Joohyun clenched her hand lightly before she relaxed again.

"But no, we're never officially dating. We never be lovers. We dating around with someone else but in the end we always came back to each other, as a best friend of course. Deep inside our heart we thought that we'll end up together in the end. So, we never rush our relationship and just enjoyed our friendship.

But everything was changed since...I met you..."

Yonghwa saw Joohyun suddenly became teary. They might be not married because of love, but Yonghwa knew well that his explanation must be hurt Joohyun's feeling.

"But Hyun-ahh, trust me. I honor our marriage. I said my vow with all my heart. I'll try my best to become a good husband for you. So please, believe me." Yonghwa said as he pleading of Joohyun’s understanding.

But Joohyun still didn't say anything. Yonghwa exhaled because of that. He could see a doubt in her eyes. She might be didn't say anything, but her eyes told him everything.

"You might be realized when I hold your hand since Shinhye came?" Yonghwa asked and waiting for her answered. In the end Joohyun just nodded slightly. "I was afraid back then. Yes, I admit it. I need something to calm myself and it should be you, my wife. So, I'm sorry if my act hurt you. But I tried, Hyun-ahh. And I'll try my best to get over it all. Please believe me. Support me with your trust."

Yonghwa waited. Joohyun still silent but after a few seconds she took a deep breath.

"Thank you, Oppa." She said stuttered. "Thank you to tell me everything. Thank you for being honest with me. Don't worry, Oppa. Like I said before that it doesn't matter for me. Let's learn to love each other together from now on."

But you don't say that you believe me, Hyun-ahh? Yonghwa asked to himself as she saw Joohyun didn't look at him when she spoke.

It hurt him to saw his own wife didn't believe him. But Yonghwa understood. She needed time. They both needed time.

Yonghwa took a deep breath again before he finally said, "Hyun-ahh~"

"Yes, Oppa" Joohyun looked up to him and her stares met him.

Thump! Yonghwa felt that strange heartbeat again. But now he understood that it was because her eyes. He didn't mind to drown in her clear eyes like this. It was so calming. He was so sure that her eyes could help him clearing his feeling.

Suddenly Yonghwa wiped tear in the corner of her eyes. She was so surprised by her husband sudden acted.

"I love your eyes~" he blurted out. Joohyun blushed and smiled shyly.

"May I kiss you?"

"...Ne?" Joohyun surprised by his sudden request, but in the end she nodded shyly.

Yonghwa grinned with happiness. Then he moved closer towards her. The second his lips touched her, he felt all his worries disappeared. Because of that, he deepen his kiss and succeed made Joohyun jolted. He became so greedy because...Oh God, her lips is so addictive! I need her kiss to clearing my worries away! Yonghwa screamed in his mind.

He forgot that until last week he just remembered Joohyun as a little Hyunnie.

After a few minutes, their breaths became more erratic. If at first they kissing to healing their feeling each other, then right now seemed like lust just led them to kissing more passionately. Yonghwa bit her lower lips, silently begged her to open so he could enter his tongue. And Joohyun let open so they hot kissing continued.

Without they realizing it, Yonghwa just lied Joohyun down to the bed as he was on top her with his elbows held his own weight so he wouldn't crash her.

And when they needed to breath, Yonghwa moved to kiss her jawline and then moved lower to her neck.

Joohyun moan