He cups the younger’s face in his hands and turns his head to him, “I’m scared, Jongin,” He whispers hoarsely, “I’m so ing scared because I’m a up– can’t seem to do anything right and I’ve pushed too many people away already,” He shakes his head when Jongin opens his mouth, “No one understands me like you do, alright? Everything was going well before the–” , he still can’t say it now without the feeling of instant frustration and the need to just sit on the floor with his head in his hands and just ing cry his eyes out until he feels better.

)(

Chanyeol can feel himself going into a full blown panic attack– he isn’t ready to be a father. He works in a gas station to get by for god’s sake! He doesn’t want their baby to grow up in this pigsty he and Jongin call a home– it’s ridiculous and it’s too small, their neighborhood isn’t exactly one he wishes to start a family in.

Babies are ing expensive and Chanyeol isn't some lawyer - he would have been, had he listened to his parents wishes but that's not the issue. He doesn't have enough money to spend on diapers and all expensive things that come with babies.

He's about to throw up.

“. , . .” A string of curses flows out of his mouth as fear grips him in its palm. Chanyeol’s feet take him across the kitchen and he finds himself back in the bathroom– the shower is running and he sees Jongin’s figure pause behind the curtains for seconds; Chanyeol may or may not have slammed the door a little too hard.

“Jongin,” There’s too much bite in his voice and he can’t stop himself– he smiles and laughs an awful lot– much to most of his friends’ annoyance– but the down side of it all is that– he is easily exasperated.

“What…?” Jongin sounds hesitant– the shower stops running– almost as if he knows why Chanyeol sounds the way he does.

“Are you pregnant?” He hisses; there’s no use going around in circles with this. He feels like his veins are going to pop from anger because Jongin is silent now and his form behind the curtains remains still.

The thought of Jongin being pregnant is making his head spin.

“Jongin!” He roars and the whimper that comes causes his heart to clench– he wants to rip the curtains apart and hold his boyfriend in his arms but he needs an answer. “I need an answer, Jongin– are you ing pregnant?”

His only response is Jongin’s figure slowly sinking in the bathtub, a choked-out sob and tear-filled apologies escaping his boyfriend’s mouth.

Chanyeol’s heart sinks; his blood runs cold and he’s trembling like an idiot out in the cold winter. He drops the white stick and rubs his hand over his face, through his hair – he turns around and leaves the bathroom without another word.

He knows he needs to calm down and that’s he’s overreacting– he’s doing nothing but frightening his boyfriend. Jongin hates it when he yells. He leans against the wall beside the bathroom door– the younger’s cries are deafening– Chanyeol’s heart is bumping and his palms are sweaty, “.”