Chanyeol forcefully closes the fridge’s door in annoyance, the scowl on his face makes him wince because he hasn’t really healed yet – and his nose still throbs faintly; the cut on his bottom lip is ugly but healing slowly because he constantly runs his tongue over it.
His face is less of a wreck and he can show it out in public without feeling like a freak. Going to work with a face that looked like Satan ran had run over it with a bulldozer was torture and the stares costumers gave him were unnerving.
He brushes thoughts of the horrible few weeks that followed after Wufan’s unwanted visit; he could barely move his face for a day and Jongin was depressed – it took a while for him to catch on because his boyfriend isn’t often depressed – because of the almost miscarriage; everything has been hell in their apartment.
His boyfriend avoids him like a plague and sometimes Chanyeol wakes up to him sniffling or crying in the bathroom or on their couch. Chanyeol loses count of how many times he almost pulled his hair out and how many times his heart breaks into a million pieces when Jongin rejects his touch.
Jongin picks the silliest fights with him and Chanyeol – it’s all hormones he tries to remind himself but he is still angry about the Wus, Sehun and the baby and just everyone in general – yells twice as loud and Jongin gets upset, gives him the silent treatment for what feels like decades.
Their relationship and communication has gotten ty – tier.
It feels like they don’t live in the same home anymore – like they aren’t together – he escapes Jongin almost as much as the younger does him. Jongin's irritation is because the nurse has restricted him from dancing – soft and light movements are alright, she said– it might risk the baby's life if he over does it.
Chanyeol tries to be understanding but – it’s hard and he knows he’s trying, just not at the quick pace everyone wishes for to go.
Jongin doesn't talk about how his sponsors took the news of him being pregnant – Chanyeol has yet to ask; he has seen a few letters addressed to Jongin in their mailbox that the young stacks up on top of the fridge and never seems to want to read.
All Chanyeol knows is that Jongin hasn’t been in school for two weeks – and usually lives the apartment to go do heaven’s know what.
Clearly not stacking the fridge with edible food – Their fridge is almost empty and nothing edible to him is in it. Jongin doesn’t do much grocery shopping anymore and when he does, he buys a lot of crackers, ginger and other gross food that pregnant people are supposed to eat – to keep his nausea in check or lessen it and keep his diet disciplined– Chanyeol wasn’t paying attention when he was explaining his reasons for spending money on those kinds of foods.
He guesses they do help because Jongin’s morning sickness isn’t as frequent much to his relief because the lack of sleep was affects his performance at work – not a lot of anticipations are expected from people with occupations like his but it, it’s his damn job and he quite likes it now because it's a distraction.
From Jongin – the baby situation.
He massages his face gently, something he has been doing a lot since the four punches he was graced with. He grits his teeth to keep the pained groan from escaping his lips when he jabs a little too hard on his nose bridge.
Jongin had been the one to stop Wufan from smashing his face in; he had knelt next to him on the ground and spluttered out apologizes to him that Chanyeol didn't want to hear because he was too busy trying not to cry out in pain, Jongin’s apologizes irritated him than they helped.
Jongin had helped clean his face when he helped off the floor and Chanyeol can't recall if any words were shared between among them then because all he remembers is how loud his ears were ringing, how much his face ing hurt and how tried he was.
He doesn’t remember the words that were shared between Jongin and Wufan when Jongin left him sitting on the toilet with a sealed bag of vegetables working as an icepack – his boyfriend’s voice was too hushed and angry and with his ears ringing, he just wanted to get some sleep.
He knows Luhan and the little girl never entered the house – and Sehun was already gone.
Chanyeol scowls at the fridge some more, shakes his head and tries to rid his thoughts of that humiliating day; he looks at the calendar stuck on the fridge with a small fruit melon magnet and stares at the circled 17th May – it’s probably got something to do with how many weeks pregnant.
Jongin is just shy over 14 weeks and he makes it a personal job of announcing what week he's in every Mondays – even on they days they aren’t getting along – and Chanyeol lets him despite his lack of concern.
He avoids staring at Jongin’s barely there bump – he remembers walking into the bathroom to take a piss one evening and the younger was only down to his pajama pants, staring at himself like he couldn't comprehend what he was looking at.
His boyfriend’s toned flat stomach is now bloated looking and rounding; his bump is obvious because his body is lean and he’s tall. Chanyeol can’t really describe the feeling he felt in his chest when he saw it – strangeness and confusion had to be the two emotions he felt the strongest; it’s not as though he hasn't seen a pregnant individual before; he hasn’t been this close to one.
He remembers how tight his chest felt – he had seen Jongin's bump before but Jongin never left it in his line of sight for over a minute until that evening – it’s almost as if he hides it away from him, like he’s embarrassed about what he looks like.
His boyfriend's body is changing and they both need to start accepting it – he needs to start accepting it.
They don’t touch each other in bed anymore; Jongin tends to shy away from him worse than he used to. Chanyeol doesn’t remember the last time they had – he can’t remember the last time he made love to Jongin – the last time he touched him like he was made of the finest glass and kissed him like he needed air.
All because he can’t bring himself to look past the softening belly and also the fact that Jongin rejects his ual advances.
, he’s ually frustrated and usually gets himself off in the bathroom whenever Jongin is out – it’s always a struggle when his hands decide they have no power in them to reach him to the finish line; he spends a lot of his days with a hard on that just won’t go away.
And it’s tough – trying to go back to the person you were before when you don’t know which way to follow.
"Morning," Jongin's sleepy voice greets him and Chanyeol looks away from the calendar he has been boring holes into for the past five minutes – so deep in his thought he didn’t hear their bedroom’s cracking door or Jongin’s stomping footsteps.
"Morning," Good morning kisses are nothing but history at this point. He has a feeling Jongin won't push him away if he wants a kiss but Chanyeol will not risk it – Jongin’s hormones are a funny thing he still has to get used to – and grasping the boundaries he has created himself with his boyfriend is difficult.
Jongin makes his breakfast in silence, no words are exchanged between them – Chanyeol leaves shortly after because of his shift at the station because he can’t bare the silence any longer and he’s already late for work.
“How’s life treating you, daddy?” His coworker has made it a bad habit of calling him that and Chanyeol ignores Jongdae’s teasing tone and focuses on stocking the pastries in their rightful place – just beside the fruits and a fridge with different beverages.
“Great,” He rolls his eyes, business is slow today and he’s happy about it because he’s tired and wants to sleep – Jongin had been coming in and out of the toilet for what felt like the whole night and it was tiresome.
“I can tell – your face is getting uglier,” Jongdae lets out an obnoxious laugh, “He really did a number on you,”
“I swear I’m going to kill you when I’m done, you er.” It’s an empty threat like anyways when he’s talking to Jongdae but he feels discomfited; he regrets ranting about everything to Jongdae – deliberately leaving out most of what an he really is though.
Just to have someone on his side, for once.
“You’ve been saying that for two years,” Jongdae chuckles and Chanyeol ignores him, choosing to turn back to his task at hand.
"Can I help you?" Jongdae questions after a few moments of comfortable silence between – sounding professional and more attentive – and Chanyeol knows it’s not directed to him so he continues setting the pastries on their shelves, according to their names and prices – some stupid order given by his never there boss.
"I'm told Park Chanyeol works here.” At the mention of his name and the owner's voice, Chanyeol stands up from where he's hidden by the large fridge and looks over at Jongdae before coming out in the open with a bag of chocolate muffins in his hands.
His grip on them tightens and he tries so hard not to glare at the wide eyed man. The older man gives him a faint smile and Chanyeol offers him none, choosing to snort quietly.
"Do you have a moment?"
"What do you want, Luhan?" He asks irritable, Luhan doesn't intimidate him as much; he looks harmless and Chanyeol is pretty sure he's not going to be punched by him.
"In private, if you don’t mind." Ever the polite one compared to his husband anyway. He wonders how Wufan scored this one, honestly.
Chanyeol looks at Jongdae and the other nods, giving him permission – he doesn’t even need to ask but he feels like it was the right thing to do. He turns around after setting the muffins on one of the shelves.
He stares back at Luhan before walking towards the counter Jongdae’s standing behind and unlocks the entrance – he heads for the Personal Only room and doesn't care if Luhan is following him or not.
"…I apologize for not stopping my husband; you didn't deserve that, nobody does." It's the first thing he says after shutting the door; Chanyeol doesn’t turn around to look at him.
"You didn't come here just to tell me that," He glowers sharply and voice already raspy, leaning against the door and watches Luhan make himself comfortable on the chair, he moves like he’s dancing – soft but sharp, graceful movements – his head is always held high, something that is hard not to notice.
Luhan is someone born with a silver spoon in his mouth – it’s hard to miss even though he doesn’t try to flash it around like a parade. Chanyeol thinks it's because of the way he carries himself – Luhan carries himself like he’s someone important, less pompous though and it gives the impression that he has great respect for himself.
"What if I did?" The question is asked like a challenge and Chanyeol doesn't give him an answer, not knowing if it’s rhetorical or not. Luhan continues in the same tone – easy but strong, "I care about Jongin because he's family. The child is family and you as the father are part of our family - you have been for years now." He pauses, "My husband might not think so."
"Luhan, look –" He gets interrupted by the quick wave of Luhan's wrist. He scowls at that.
"I'm not here to knock you down or to make you feel bad about yourself – you’re doing a good job on your own," He looks around the small break room before he eyes Chanyeol, head to toe – like he’s in deep thought and Chanyeol feels a chill run down his spine.
"Why the are you here really?" He asks in a voice drained of feeling.
"Chanyeol," Luhan calls sympathetically, "Jongin is pregnant."
"I know!" He exclaims crossly.
"No, I don't think you understand how serious this is. He's going to have a child. Your baby." Luhan says, voice never increasing in voice but the firmness in it hardens, "No one wants to raise a child with an uncaring parent."
"So you figured you could just come and interrupt my working hours–” He starts but is immediately cut off before he can go into a full-blown enraged rant when Luhan gives him a look he fails to read.
The older man smiles weakly and stands up shortly afterwards, straightens his leather jeans and looks at him before settling on the chair again. "Drop the act. You're not fooling me, Chanyeol, you're terrified and I get that but when has fear ever helped anyone?"
"I'm done talking about this." He mumbles angrily, his eyes are focused on nothing in particular and his face forms into grimace. "I'm not–"
"Sure," Luhan tells him dismissively, smile slowly stretching on his lips as though he's amused by something.
"Luhan," He puckers his brow, patience leaving him and he’s holding himself back from yelling at Luhan. He won’t admit being afraid that if he says something to purposely hurt Luhan – Wufan might just kill him in cold blood if he finds out and seeing Wufan isn’t something he has written on his wish list.
“Since this whole conversation is going one ear and out the other,” He begins and Chanyeol stares at him, posture harden like he won’t like what will leave the older man’s mouth next, "We offered Jongin a place to stay– if things don’t work out between you two.”
It's unexpected and it feels like a bucket of freezing water has been drenched over his shoulders. The faintness he feels in his limbs is indescribable, the faster his heart pumps the jerkier his hands moves. He is relieved his body is resting against the wall or he'd have stumbled forward in shock.
It feels like a bad joke, but Luhan isn't smiling and if anything, he looks almost pained – like he feels his pain because Chanyeol doesn’t think anyone will ever understand how lost he ing feels and how he can't seem to breathe right at the moment.
"I'm telling you this because Jongin is hurting." Luhantells him gently, "And because my husband is an impatient man, Chanyeol." There's a hidden warning in his tone and Chanyeol's heart drops lower, his body feels like it weighs more his legs can handle.
"Why would you–" It’s all like an ugly pang to his heart, his chest constructs at the thought of Jongin leaving him and he fails to come up with something solid to say. The pain in his chest has his thoughts stuttering foolishly in his head and he has things strong urge to sit on the floor and scream.
"Chanyeol," Luhan says.
“What did he – what did he say?” He hates how vulnerable he sounds, there hurt in his voice is loud and he feels pathetic, “Luhan!” He snaps when the older man just looks at him, as if waiting for him to have a nervous breakdown.
And he does.
"So what, huh? He comes over to whine about how ing unhappy he is with me, is that it? Making me look bad and like I'm the ing villain – " He fails to continue because he’s not making sense and nothing else comes to mind for his to blurt out – his emotions are out of control and he just wants to cry or punch something but the urge to cry is stronger at this point.
He doesn't know how long they stand their glaring daggers at each other – more him than Luhan who still looks dejected – before his legs decide to give out on him and Chanyeol slumps against the wall and slides down to the ground, he brings his right fist into his mouth and bites down hard enough to leave marks.
The thought of Jongin leaving him scares him – Chanyeol has a feeling he won’t be able to function properly without Jongin around.
Ignore misspelling or any grammar failures
I hope this was worth the
short long wait
An update should be up before next week or next week idk cus like not a single word is written for the next chapter yet .___. I need time to think of what to touch on later b ye