Without music life would be a mistake. -Friedrich Nietzsche

                                                                                                                                      Hwa young

After the funeral Hwa young, Her mother, Yongguk, Himchan, and Mr Yoo had stayed behind and helped clean up afterwards. She still felt numb and really couldn’t think as every thought and memory would always come back to her father. 

She felt startled as a hand rested on her shoulder, but she realized it was Himchan as she looked behind and relaxed. 

“Hey, sorry if I scared you thought you might need help” Himchan began to clear the empty dishes, napkins and utensils that weren’t used and stored them into a plastic bag. 

“Oh...Um...Thanks” She mumbled as she couldn’t meet him eye to eye, it was easier that way. 

Is this how everyone feels like when they die? She wondered as the hours ticked by, she tried her best to not think of her father and that his body will soon be picked up. 

The police had conducted an autopsy and refused to let the body go but she begged them to at least them have her father back for at least one day. It was strange and went out of protocol for the body to be released back to the victim’s family. But firmly said yes but would promptly pick it up after the funeral ended. 

She walked back to the casket with her father, he looked pale and just dead. She’d have to lie about touching her father since the police didn’t allow that either. But she didn’t care, she just wanted to touch him at least once. Just once. 

Upon just sitting and staring at her father since she wanted to keep this memory of him fresh in her mind she hadn't noticed the woman sitting in one of the benches. 

“I’m so sorry for your loss Hwa young” She was startled and looked at the side of her to see a woman dressed in a tight black dress and a black hat with a veil that covered her face but was see through. 

She looked to be around in her mid to late twenties but something about her was odd about her, it was like she wasn’t even there. 

Immediately Hwa young snapped back to reality and spoke “Oh...Thank you umm I thought most of the guests left?” 
“Oh yes, I decided to stick around and just pray for your father’s peaceful rest, its not like a man like him dies” 

Every word seemed entice her, it felt like almost like a spell she was trapped at her words. On top of that she was beautiful and suddenly she felt a cold chill blow through she shivered. 

“My apologies I should introduce myself, my name is Charlene” She stuck out her hand and Hwa young shook it. 

“And your name is Skyler, right?” She nodded, sometimes she’d have to back and forth realizing that she had a Korean name and English name, most people knew her by her english name so hearing it was made her attentive. 

“Yes, nice to meet you Charlene and…” She stopped talking and a realization hit her was she even on the list? She listed off all the people and the name Charlene wasn’t for sure on there. 

So who was she? 

She kept quiet and decided to ask her mother later, but for now she showed a smile and made small talk with her. 

“How do you know my father?” 

“Ah, he helped me at point on my life and get be back into working after I was unemployed and wasn’t in the best terms, I was an orphan and I owe it a lot to him if it wasn’t his generosity.” 

Hwa young felt like these words were just slipping through her ear and out, she didn’t feel like she wasn’t telling the truth. 

it scared her as she usually was right about these things, but she couldn’t accuse her that she was lying. She needed to get away from her. 

“Sorry, I think I need to go and attend to other things, its nice to meet you Charlene” As Hwa young walked a bit Charlene grabbed onto her shoulder and met her with a piercing stare. She felt like she was going to strike but grabbed her close to her ear and whispered. 

“Your father isn’t who he says he was, I know” She eerily gave off the most creepiest smile and was about to shout for help when she saw a hand grab onto Charlene’s shoulder. 

“Get away from her.”     

She looked to see Yongguk firmly holding on to her and giving her a hard stare, Charlene let her go and faced him. 
“You know it too Yongguk, even though he was like a father to you, he has his secrets and once they’re found out, I won’t be surprised  that you’d loathe him.” And with that she turned and walked away the only sound of her heels clicking away. 

“Are you alright Hwa young?” She stumbled a bit but Yongguk caught her and laid her down on the bench. 

‘Yeah, sort of I just...I just need to rest I think.” The strange encounter with Charlene had put her in a dizzy state for some apparent reason. 

“Come one let’s get you to the room, its better that way.” She leaned against his shoulder as he walked slowly with her supporting her as they reached the door. He guided her to the sof and carefully laid her down as he searched for some sort of blanket. 

Instead he came back with his jacket and insisted to put it on her. 

“What about you, won’t you get cold?” He shook his head. 

“Its fine Hwa young, I think you need it more than me, just get some rest.” She slowly nodded and closed her eyes and suddenly feel into a deep sleep. 

                                                                                                                                                         Yongguk 

After she fell asleep Yongguk couldn’t help but notice her, his heart fluttered a little and knew that she was beautiful. 

He couldn’t help it, he couldn’t  stay away from her no matter what he did it felt impossible, he brushed a strand of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. 

“Why do you make me feel this way?” It was the first time he admitted to having feelings for her. 

He thought back to the last 10 mins when he saw Charlene and Hwa young. 

“You know it too Yongguk, even though he was like a father to you, he has his secrets and once they’re found out, I won’t be surprised  that you’d loathe him.” 

He didn’t want to believe it, what she said about Mr Eung. 

He refused to. 

The conflicting thoughts stirred in his mind had begun to explode and felt like he just wanted to scream out his frustration. 

“Aish, why is this so hard.” 

He looked back to Hwa young, she was silently sleeping like a baby, his eyes softened as he saw she looked more relaxed. 

He leaned forward, slowly and surely he didn’t know what he was doing but he was just inches away from her face. 

He went closer, 

And closer, 

Her lips just seemed so soft and just as about he was the door suddenly opened. 

“Hey Yongguk, there you are I’ve been looking for you is Hwa young there.” He immediately sat back startled to see Himchan and stuttered. 

“Y-Yeah, Hwa young is just sleeping she didn’t feel so good so I thought I should just let her rest.”

He saw Himchan side eyed him and he came closer. 

“You sure, you haven’t done anything to her, have you?” 

“N-No, I haven’t like what makes you say that?” He shifted uncomfortably in his seat as Himchan’s gaze felt like he was looking into Yongguk’s soul. 

Thankfully he just relaxed, “I’m joking haha but I just wanted to let her know about her father’s body being removed now by the police so they can continue with the investigation.” 

Yongguk nodded “I’ll tell her when she wakes up, are we leaving soon?” 

“Yeah, in like 10 mins we’re just packing up the rest of the things and we’ll be done.” 

He looked to Hwa young and Himchan spoke “Don’t worry you don’t have to wake her up, you can just carry her to the car, she doesn’t need to do anything.” 

“Okay, but I just think she can walk to the car, you know?”

“Oh come one Yongguk!” he lightly slapped him on the shoulder “I think you can manage a girl much less Hwa young besides might as well give you bonding time. 

He winked at him. 

“Himchan, don’t start” Yongguk warned him as he laughed quietly and closed the door. 

“You know what i mean pal, come on it’s not like I’m blind to see the way you look at her.” 

He looked at Himchan and suddenly his eyes were serious. 

“And I know that she looks at you too, I’m not blind by that you might as well get to know her better, who knows I can be your best man at the wedding.”

With that he closed the door leaving Yongguk to recollect his thoughts and sigh deeply. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to get to know her more, he really did. But given the situation and how things turn out, he felt he shouldn’t overstep his boundaries. 

He drew the line of friendship with him and Hwa young. 

It pained him it really did, but what else was he suppose to do. 

He could never really forgive him for what he’ll tell her or that they can’t really be together, he can’t. 

Deep down it was just too complicated. 

In time the scars can heal and maybe then he could try and get to know her better, but for now he wants to keep his distance and not be tangled in affairs with her. 

Even though its breaking his heart. 

                                                                                                                                                          No One 

A few minutes later Yongguk, Himchan, Hwa young’s mother and Mr Yoo all finished with clearing out the funeral and dealing with all financial business they headed back. 
Himchan and Yongguk rode in a separate car and Mr Yoo and Hwa young’s mother rode in another. Silence seemed to overcome the two guys as they drove not talking with just the radio on low volume. 

“You know we are almost close to flying back to South korea.” Himchan spoke quietly as Yongguk fixed his eyes on the road. 

“I know, I miss the other kids actually.” Yongguk referred to Daehyun, Youngjae, Jongup and Zelo since at the moment they probably were being lazy or eating up the food supply. Well more of Daehyun. 

“I’m hoping that they didn’t burn the building down at least.” They both laughed. 

Himchan looked at Yongguk and with this time more of a serious tone. 

“You know, I miss talking with you the most, we’re still close aren’t we?” 

Yongguk’s hand clamped on the wheel a bit tightly, “We are its just...I’m not at the best time to be there for you.” 

“And yet you push me away, that’s what friends do, then that’s a lame excuse.” Himchan huffed and shook his head. 

“Stop pushing me away, you can’t do that forever, I’m always there for you, you were there for me and B.A.P. All the times when we ever felt sad, lonely, depressed or troubled we always sought to you because you knew what to say.” 

Himchan paused again before continuing on, “ You were there more times than I could ever count, don’t you see that? We’ve looked up to like an older brother, a leader and now that you’re suffering from your own troubles you don’t bother to confide in us.” 

“Himchan its not like that its- 

“Complicated, yeah that’s what you always say, I don’t believe that BS you’re sprouting out Yongguk.” 

For a while Yongguk looked away and continued to focus driving, Himchan sighed but then spoke in a softer tone. 

“I’m worried about you, everyone is and I don’t know why you don’t simply reach out to us, I’m always there just like you were there for me. Don’t push me away no matter the situation I won’t judge you, just talk.” 

The begging in Himchan’s voice had made Yongguk feel more guilty but before either guys could say anything they arrived at the house. 

They stopped and just as they were about to get out Himchan spoke, 

“I’m just telling you to let out all your anxiety, even though it looks like you can handle everything you’re just like any other human being.” 

With that they didn’t talk while unloading the truck, Hwa young was still asleep and carried her while Himchan had most of the stuff they packed. They had gotten a copy of the keys from Hwa young’s mom and opened it. 

While Himchan had set down most of the stuff and proceeded to put everything back, Yongguk carried Hwa young bridal style up the stairs and into her room. 

Once setting her down he whispered softly. 

“I promise to protect you, even if it means to step aside and let you have your happiness with someone else I will, but I’ll always be there to stay by your side. Always.” 

He gently touched her cheek and tucked her in her blanket and gave one last look before closing the door. 

But some things, you just can’t let go. 

[A/N] I finally finished with another chapter ^^ Hope it wasn't too boring since I wanted to give you guys suspension especially Yongguk nearly kissing Hwa young *gasp* And Yongguk finally admitting his feelings secretly ~ Stupdi editing is for some reason making my headlines for my POVs slant off :/