It felt like my blood froze inside my veins. I should have known he'd notice. Zelo is the kind of person to pay attention to those he cares about, so of course he would notice that my hair -which wasn't even really my hair- is different from the last time he saw me.

"And you don't look too well. Are you eating healthy?" He scanned my face, I could see the worry in his eyes grow as he notices my pale skin, chapped lips and the dark circles that seem to be permanently engraved under my eyes. And my eyes don't look like they used to. They have a reddish glow and are very teary, because the medication makes my eyes very sensitive.

"I didn't sleep very well. That's all," I say while I carefully let myself slip into the couch. He's not pleased with my answer. Just like my husband, this boy sees straight through my lies. And it hurts him to know I don't want to tell him the truth. If only he knew the horrible reality, he'd understand that I am doing this for him. And Yongguk. And B.A.P. in general.

"I missed you. It was really hard not to talk to you." He doesn't mention the fact he tried. A lot. And that I refused his reaching hand every single time. He's just glad to see me now.

"I missed you too," I confess. More than I can tell him. I missed the big, strong shoulders I used to cry on, I missed the boyish smiles and honest eyes. I missed them. I still do. 

"I wanna tell you so much, Noona, America was amazing! I never knew how many peopl