I have been a mess, all day long. I haven't informed anyone yet, all I did was crying, curling myself up on the couch and cursing my body. Why me? Why now? I am so young. I have my whole life ahead of me. Even if I can heal, I will probably always suffer the consequences. And the worst part is, I'm dragging my husband along in this hell. I've only got a few minutes before he gets home. I haven't heard of him all day long. Not a text, not a short call. Maybe that's for the best. I don't want to shake up his world through the phone. But I am also a little bit worried. Why didn't he text me? He always texts me...

The front door goes open, I hope my eyes are not to puffy. I know they are. The seconds Yongguk needs to step into the hall and face me, are the longest I ever had to wait. As soon as his gaze meets mine, his mouth falls open and he frowns.

"Jagi? Jagiya, what's wrong? Why did you cry?" 

I can't.

I can't tell him. 

Not ever.

I turn away from him and shake my head.

"I didn't cry." My voice sounds mechanic, and I barely notice Zelo entering after Yongguk. I make my way to the kitchen, listening to Yongguk mumbling to his disbelieve.

"She never lied to me, Zelo," I hear him say. That is not entirely true. I lied to him the past few weeks.

"Do you want me to ask her about it, hyung?" I hear someone fall into the couch, and I know it's my husband who is obviously blown away by the fact that I refuse to tell him what's going on. I turn on the microwave, the conversation drowns in the humming noi