It kills me when I hear him leave the next morning. I can hear his dragging feet through the hallway, his slow motions as he prepares himself to go to rehearsals. I heard him cry, last night. I know he heard me cry as well. I feel like a terrible person. How can I hurt him like this? How can I give him the feeling that he is not a good husband? That I don't love him anymore? He is the only one I want, no man could ever compare. But this is for the best. Healing my... issue, might take longer than mending his broken heart. He will get over me. There are so many girls in this world begging to be his one and only. And who knows, when this is all over, I can tell him the truth. Maybe he will even consider forgiving me. 

This is for the best, I remind myself as I stumble out of bed. I have to do a lot of things today. Pack my stuff, at least the most essential, like clothes and such. Call my mother. Cry to her shoulder. Call my friends. Try to keep my head up. Call the doctor. Discuss my treatment. And most importantly, try to forget the nasty stinging in my heart, the voices full of guilt in my head and the memory of Yongguk's hurt face as he went to our bedroom to sleep. He was so hurt. I have hurt him. If the sasaengs find out about that, I won't live much longer, I think. Even though my life might be over more quickly than I have ever hoped.

"Omma." Sobbing, I fall into her arms. She is crying as well, patting my back and whispering softly in my ea