Perhaps... I already felt it a long time ago, but I just didn't realize it.

“yah, promise me you won’t tell anyone that I cried. Arasseo?”

“I promise” Taeyeon smiles as she poured some alcohol on the cotton

“yah, what are you doing? Why are you putting alcohol?” I questioned

“I’m putting alcohol to disinfect your wound” she explains as she grazed my wounded fingers with the cotton. I whimpered in pain

“just bear it for awhile”

“I am! But it is freaking painful!”

“yah, if you yell at me one more time I will surely tell the whole school about what happened at the rose garden” she threatened which made me silently groan in pain as she continued to tend to my wounds

“if you just listened to me right away, you wouldn’t have acquired these wounds” she remarked as she examined my wounds that I got from the thorns of the roses

“tsk, why would I listen to you? Aren’t you the one who’s supposed to listen to me?”

She just smiled at me and continued treating my wound. While she was doing her thing I just stared at her. Hae is right, Taeyeon is short. She is a very small girl, it makes me wonder how she was able to stop me awhile ago. I am a boy and I am about twice her size. As I was staring at her and I noticed the wound that I caused on her cheek. It wasn’t bleeding anymore but it hasn’t healed yet

“d-d-does it hurt?” I asked

“wha—ouch!” she flinched when I touched her cheek

“yah, you should treat this first. It might cause a permanent mark on your face” I scold

“I will, after I treat… you are my first priority”

I tried to pull out my hand showing my rebellion but she just tightly gripped it making me groan in pain. I didn’t complain anymore and allowed her to continue her business. She’s such a sadistic girl

“now that’s better” she remarked

“sadist” I hissed

“narcissist” she retorted

“yah—ouch!” I groaned for the nth as she poured alcohol on my wound.

“you’re just like Myungsoo” she smiled

“Myungsoo? Who’s that?” I asked

“my cute little brother… he always stumble around and whenever I treat his wounds he wouldn’t stop whining just like you” she was smiling happily while she talked about her brother. Okay, her smile is pretty

“so, you find me cute to—ouch” I wasn’t able to finish my sentence because she tightly wrapped my finger with band aid

“if you were a five year old boy then maybe I would have considered you to be cute” she retorted

I was about to answer but she cut me off

“okay, all done… I’m gonna go now. Good night” she said as she stood up and exited my room.

 The following day I decided to lock the rose garden. Dad agreed to my suggestion, knowing that the memories of mom would both hurt us

“don’t you want to know her reason?” Taeyeon asks as she stood behind me. I was placing chains on the garden’s gate. I shook my head. “Wae? She must have reasons at the very least” she tried to convince me while she was pulling my arm.

“she already left me and didn’t even care to explain. So why should I care about it?” I answered back trying to brush Taeyeon off

I’ve already made my resolve and that is to forget about mom and go on with my life with dad. I know dad could be strict and cold but at least he is still with me unlike mom who was warm and caring who left me with some strangers. Well, practically Taeyeon and her mom are still strangers to me, only that Taeyeon was the first stranger who saw me cry.

Ever since I started going to school, I never cried in public, not even with Donghae and Kyuhyun. I don’t even remember crying whenever dad would scold me. Hae and Kyuhyun always said that I was strong person both physically and emotionally.

“but don’t you miss your mom?” ah, she just knows what to ask. Around Taeyeon, I don’t know why, but it feels as though she knows me long enough to point out things that I’ve been hiding

“who needs a mom, when you’re this handsome” I smugly answered her showing my most beautiful smile. I earned a playful slap on my arm from her

“narcissist” she hissed

“I know, sadist” I back. She just raised her eyebrow on me

“here…” I hand here the keys

“wae?”

“keep it… I don’t want to have the means to access this memory” I explained

“ok, I’ll keep it safe” she answered clenching the keys to her chest

“nah, I suggest that you throw that away” I told her

“but-“

“aish, you’re really noisy today Taeyeon… are you starting to feel comfortable with me already?” I , diverting her attention off the garden.

“probably” she answered shyly

I smiled at her shyness towards me. I ruffled her hair and said “that’s good then”. She looked up at me and my eyes met her glittery eyes. I would say Taeyeon has beautiful eyes, and she is the first person to earn that compliment from me. “Kyuhyun and Hae are coming over today, they said they wanted to play with you” I told her as I walked away from the garden.

I heard her footsteps following me. “r-r-really? I would love to play with them too” she remarked as soon as she was able to catch up to me. In the corner of my eyes I can see her eyes gleam with happiness and joy.

“yeah, they seem to like you” I told her and showed her my smile. Her face turned red that instant and I don’t really get why. She did not answer back, she just held her cheeks with her palms.

I halted when I suddenly remembered something. “Taeyeon…” I called out and she faced, stopping on her tracks. “I know you heard what my dad told me at the study room” I started and she looked guilty on eavesdropping that day. “I just want you to keep that a secret from Hae and Kyuhyun, especially Kyuhyun. I don’t want him to pity me and throw away his spot as the smartest person in class just so I wouldn’t get scolded by dad. Do you get what I mean?” I explained.

Taeyeon then flashed me an assuring smile before she spoke again. “Your secret is safe with me Choi Siwon. You don’t need to worry at all”

Years have passed and Taeyeon became friendlier towards Hae and Kyu. Hae started treating her as his sister and Kyuhyun shared his interest of gaming with her. Well, getting along girls was easy for us especially to Hae. But most girls wants to get Kyuhyun and my attention because they perceive Fishy Hae as a player.

Now we are in middle school. Still, a lot of girls want to get our attention. But, for me getting girlfriend isn’t my priority. I wouldn’t want to dis