JESSICA'S POV

I entered the house, still with a heavy heart, yet with lessened confusion and pain.

Thinking about how I was able to smile and laugh like that during a situation wherein I felt like my whole world was about to go down the dumps again, I somehow felt relieved.

I remember what I thought about right after me and Jaejoong had a proper closure..

There's more to life than love. Life, it doesn't relevantly rely on such feeling or emotion. Sometimes, we might feel like life means nothing if we aren't loved by the people we love, but it's not true. Life continues whether we are loved or not.

Love can be like the mushroom in Mario, you're life doesn't depend on it, it only gives you a temporary high.

I remind myself of that learning I got after my past experience, persuading that everything will be alright tomorrow.

We will be alright tomorrow.

We will just be friends tomorrow.

Like what we really are, what we should be.

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I had trouble sleeping last night because my thoughts brought me to different topics and arguments—which I debated with myself only.

I came to a sudden conclusion that even though my hair looks cool with the highlights, I should just choose to make it look plain. Besides, the reason why I changed was because of.. nevermind.

The point is, as early as I can, I have to go to a salon and fix my ununiformly-colored hair.

What made me spend the night thinking was the color I would change my hair into.

Should I maintain my blonde hair or should I go brunette or go black?

I went on pinterest to check for some hair color idea and I made a decision that I'm going to go brunette.

Skipping first period, I went to my favorite parlor and asked for the assistance of a close friend of mine who works there. Well, we became friends after I frequented in their parlor.

She was shocked as to why I was there again when it wasn't long ago that I asked her to put some highlights on my hair.

"Oh. Did you have regrets about the highlights?", she asked as she fixed the materials she's going to use.

Looking at the mirror and asking the girl in the reflection, I answered, "Nope. Not really. I mean, it looks nice, you have to admit it makes me look cool, but I want to have kind of like a formal and approachable look."

"Oh. I get what you mean. You've matured. Only people who have grown up would realize the importance of their hair in the way people perceive them. If you have messy hair, people would think you're also a messy person. If you have spiked hair, most people would think that you're some kind of a rebellious child. If you have colored, other than black, blonde and brown, most people, especially the elders, would think you're weird. You see, respect can also be based on hair. So, I'm saying that I'm proud that you've already come to this type of realization."

I awkwardly nod at her. That's not really the reason behind my hair change, but at least I get to learn something from her.

"Although a person has every right to choose what to do with their hair. It's their hair anyways, other people's say shouldn't be of importance. It's how you express yourself. However, remember again that society isn't really that open-minded to changes.", she turns as she finished talking.

This time, I nod my head because I fully understood and agree with what she had said.

"Okay, so what do you want me to do with your hair, darling?", she asks.

Because she's an expert with this kind of things, I asked her first what she thinks about turning me into a brunette. I showed her some picture I got from the net and asked if which would fit me more.

"Actually, you would look good with any of those hair, but in my opinion, light brown would look great on you. It would create a radiating feel and you'd be blooming."

"Let's do it then!", I excitedly say.

While she was busy doing her thing with my hair, I made myself busy by watching the television. King of Masked Singer was on and I was at awe with the voices of the performers.

However, it was the familiarity of the voice that captured my full attention.

It was the same soothing voice that made me feel safe and comfortable in the past. It was the same sweet voice that used to remind me each and every single day that I was loved and a blessing.

I smiled to myself, realizing that my heart didn't react the same way it used to before.

My smile widened even more when the music changed and he sang a song that brought back many happy memories. It was a song that reminded me of how happy it feels like to love and to be loved.

But then the thought of what happened yesterday came back and the sweet smile I had on my lips turned into a bitter frown.

Why do I have to remember that?

I was already in a good mood, I thought I could finish this day without feeling any bitterness or pain.

I shook off the thought and brought my attention back to the shyly smiling guy that was singing. The camera was capturing the shocked faces of the people and even the MC's open-mouthed reaction.

Chuckling for a bit, I heard the conversation of some of the employees.

"Really? He can sing? Omg that's amazing.", one girl spoke.

"I know right? He's not only good-looking, he's also talented. I feel like I'm falling for him even more.", said another girl, spazzing.

I looked back at the screen again in time for the end of his song. A roar of applause came and he humbly bowed.

The MC went to him and interviewed him.

"Jaejoong-shi. Jaejoong-shi. Who would've thought you have such an amazing voice?"

"I did.", I thought to myself.

He just graciously smiled in response, still speechless as to the reaction of the people.

"Okay. Okay. The sad ballad, your first song, I was amazed by it. But when the second song started, I felt like you were so into it. I don't know but maybe I'm just exaggerating.", the MC said with a laugh.

Jae put the mic near his mouth, but only a soft laugh escaped his mouth. He's really shy.

You could hear the girls' giggles and screams as their hearts melted because of his laugh.

"So, let's just put it like this, were you the one who chose the songs", he asked and Jae timidly replied with a "Yes" and an adorable smile that earned, yet again, the crowd's hearts.

The MC's smile became wider as if he found a place to dig that would lead him to a treasure.

"Is there a reason behind why you chose them? I don't know, maybe they have some sentimental value to you?", the MC's curiosity was contagious that it also caught the audience's thoughts.

It was silent for quite a while, as everyone waited for his response. Each and every pair of eyes were glued onto him, not one person blinking. They were even holding their breaths.

He gave off that shy yet -dropping smile for the nth time and answered.

"The first song didn't really have that much relevance to me. I chose it because I thought it would really match my voice and the song got stuck in my head the moment I heard it. And the second one, just like how you observed, has somewhat a sentimental value for me. The song, while singing it, brought back happy memories for me. It was those moments that make me remember feelings and learnings—though not all positive, still make me feel complete and joyful."

His answer made the people even more curious, but he was saved by the PDs who were signaling that they were already running out of time.

"Aiigoo. Unfortunately, ladies and gentleman, we no longer have enough time. If only we had enough, we could've had a juicier conversation with the multi-talented and good-looking Kim Jaejoong! 'Til next week, it has been King of Masked Singer!"

He bowed to the crowd and the camera as the background music started playing for his encore performance. You could hear the cheers and yells of the crowd as they sang along to one of the most memorable songs for the both of us.

I was too focused on the show that I didn't realize my hair was already done.

I went to the counter and paid, but spent some time talking to some of the familiar faces. The other employees were praising how I looked blooming with my new hair. They said that I look like I was in love.

If only they knew that it was the exact opposite.

Thinking about it, not only girls who are in love have the right to be blooming. The brokenhearted ones have the equal rights. Not that anyone is arguing or anything. I'm just saying.

I arrived at school with minutes to spare.

With a deep breath and a strong self-persuasion, I exited my car and entered the school premises.

I was welcomed with appreciative smiles and greetings followed by compliments. Of course, I didn't want to come on too strong to the people, so I timidly smiled at them—the type of smile people would usually interpret as a b*tchy and plastic smile. I don't really care what they think, some people can understand that it's not btchy, so why can't they?

Anyway.

It didn't take long before I arrive at my classroom. Good thing the next period's teacher always come in late, so when I entered, she still wasn't there.

They didn't notice me enter, since they were crumpled together and were busy checking their phones. Actually, they were gathered around him.

Taking a deep breath, I persuaded myself again that I can make it through and be able to face him like my heart isn't breaking piece by piece.

"Hey, guys and girls!", I happily greeted when I arrived at my chair.

They looked at me, but it took quite some time before they realized who I was. When they did, I flaunted my new hair with my best smile.

The girls were speechless. I guess they don't really know how to react. But it was Fany who came to me and pulled me to an embrace.

"Oh my gosh. I don't really know if I should be mad, happy, shocked or relieved.", she said as she embraced me tighter.

"You could just say your honest opinion about my new hair.", I said as I played with my hair and flaunt it again.

"I must admit you look great, but any hair color would fit you.", she said as she touched my light brown hair.

I heard a forced cough, making me turn my attention to that person.

"Hey, Sica. Good to know that you're okay.", Taeyeon said in a cold tone. I knew from that moment that she's mad because I didn't answer my phone yesterday, so even before she starts nagging, I defended myself.

"Okay, okay. I know you're mad because I left yesterday without any word.", I paused.

"Not only that—", Taeyeon replied, but I cut her off.

"And I also didn't pick up my phone all day. I know. Here, let me explain. As of what I remember, I told you that I have to leave first because I have to go do something. I didn't really expect you'd want a more precise answer. With regards to the phone negligence, well, I was too caught up hanging out that I forgot about my phone in my bag."

They were quiet for a while, when a curious Seohyun asked.

"Who were you with, unnie?", she asked. I could see that she was somehow hopeful, but I couldn't point as to what the reason is.

"Uh. I was with an oppa.", I hesitantly answer.

Silence. They were silent at that moment until Kyuhyun spoke up.

"Did you, by any chance, enter a hotel with him?"

"Well, yes, I did.", I confusedly reply. "But how did you know that? By chance, did any one of you follow me?", I half-accused.

I saw how their eyes turned bigger as they gasped in shock. All I did was stand there and look at them with a crunched forehead.

They were all giving me this look that I don't even understand. I became impatient, so I half-yelled and asked for their reply.

A dark aura came from the person surrounded by our friends. He stood up, faced me and said in a very deep and emotionless tone.

"Kyuhyun saw you entering a hotel with someone last night."

I didn't want to show that I was taken aback and affected by his scary demeanor, so I just smiled and replied.

"Oh, yeah. Just like I told you. I was with an oppa yesterday and we went there."

"You entered a hotel.", said Hyoyeon in disbelief.

"With a guy.", added Sooyoung with the same tone.

I don't really understand what they're trying to say. Good thing the teacher entered the room and we took our seats.

I tried my best to stay focused on the class discussion, but I can feel the eyes of the guy I referred to earlier as the one having surrounded by the dark aura. At some point, when I can no longer take it, I turned around and looked back at the person, hoping that he'd get awkward when I catch him and he'd turn away.

I did, but I didn't expect him to continue and stare, or rather, glare at me.

However, no matter how much shocked I was, I still didn't allow it to affect me. I looked back at him with the same intensity, but only then did his gaze turn a little softer. I could see pain in his eyes.

I turned away, not wanting to get confused with the way he looked, not wanting to shaken my decisions.

After that, I forced myself to focus my attention to what our teacher was saying. But no matter how much I try, I still didn't understand anything. Yes, I'm listening, but none of the words spoken managed to enter my brain. They only entered an ear, yet also exited right away on the other side.

BREAK TIME

We came to the cafeteria and sat together, but it was the first time since we got together that we were that silent. Even the people around us noticed the odd atmosphere. There were even some who were supposed to approach us and give us something, but stopped midway and walked away.

The whole place was also unusually silent. Were they affected that much by our odd behavior?

The boys were about to stand up to buy us food when my phone rang.

I smiled as I read the caller ID. For the nth time today, I can feel the eyes of the people glued onto me.

Disregarding their reactions, I excused myself and walked out of the cafeteria.

I stopped when I reached the door, making my back face the direction of my friends. Since it was quiet inside, I didn't have to walk far to hear the person talking on the other line. Besides, the reason I distanced myself was for privacy.

"Oppa.", I said when I answered my phone.

He greeted back and asked me if I was okay. I said that I was and he let go of a sigh of relief. He said that he was itching to call me earlier, but he knew that I had classes and didn't want to bother me, so he waited until break time. I laughed because of his fast way of talking and he laughed back.

"Aiigoo, oppa. You're crazy.", I said then I laughed again.

I felt someone walk pass me, and only after seeing his back did I realize who he was.

Donghae just walked by and turned to the direction of the men's comfort room. It was not really that far from where I'm at.

"Hello? You still there? Are you okay?", I heard from the other line.

"Uh, yes oppa! Anyway, thank you for yesterday. I really enjoyed getting drunk with you.", I said the highlighted word in a singsong manner. "And thank you for bringing me there last night. I really enjoyed it and I wish I can come back there with you. You really satisfied my cravings."

We chatted for a bit, but then he realized that I might not have had a chance to take a bite of my food. He apologized and we bid our farewell. He also said that I should text him when I want to hang out. Of course, I said yes. I might do that anytime soon.

I went back to my seat and saw that food was already set in front of me. Who could've put it there? Eh. One of the guys might have.

I was about to take a bite of my sandwich when my eyes landed on a smirking Yoona. She was looking at me like she was testing my patience, which she actually was. She was challenging her in fact.

No one was sitting beside me, meaning only on one side since I was at the corner of the table. I'm guessing he's the one who's supposed to sit beside me. Psh.

I felt him sit beside me. Act normal, I said to myself. So, I looked at him and gave him a small smile-- his reaction mixed and unreadable.

It was awkward for me, so I decided to just focus on eating. But from time to time, I steal glances of him.

And there was this moment that his forehead was crunched and he was looking at the direction of the girl who pissed me off moments ago. I couldn't help but feel a slight pain in my chest.

He was looking at another girl. He's not even paying attention at me. I looked down once again as I let of my anger through murdering the sandwich.

Then I felt a soft hand touch the side of my lips. I shockingly turned my head to face him, with eyes wide with surprise.

"There's mayo.", he softly spoke.

I couldn't help myself but blush. No matter how much I tried to act as if I wasn't affected by his gesture, I couldn't control my veins from pumping blood near my cheeks.

I don't want to appear rude, so I replied with a short "Thanks".

The bell rang, so we stood up and made our way back to our room. Quietly.

Act normal, I told myself again.

"Uhm, so... what did you guys do yesterday?", I asked them, hopeful that the mood might lighten up.

"We attended classes and were busy looking for you.", Taeyeon frankly spoke.

Wrong move, Jess.

"Oh. I'm sorry. To make it up to you, why don't we hangout later? Hmm?", I said and showed them my rarely-exposed aegyo. "Please?"

"Okay okay. Let's just talk about it later."

Why do I feel like they're referring to something? Whatever.

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Lunch time came and everything went back to normal.

Well, not everything.

Hae sat beside me again and he was also the one who ordered my food for me, despite me saying that he it's alright and he shouldn't. He just gave me a look and continued walking. I gave up, I can't stop him anyway.

The girls and I were talking about the audition and how we're preparing for it. I thought I was the only one who hasn't started, but it turns out that all of us are equally as lazy. The conversation continued when the guys arrived with the food.

The guys were flaunting their skills too much and said that they didn't need practice. Their confidence are totally of the roof!

Except for the silent one beside me.

Act normal.

How many times have I told myself that? After my chant, I gathered all that's left of my unwavering courage and talked to him.

"How about you, Hae?"

The rest of the gang turned quiet all of a sudden as their eyes were focused on me.

"What?", I asked them.

"N-nothing.", they said.

Leeteuk was the one who shooed away the awkward atmosphere. Phew~

"Yeah. What's your plan, Hae? I mean, have you secretly been practicing?"

The conversation went on and on, and I'm happy that I managed to "talk" to him. If that was even considered as talking.

He answered, but not with the same confidence as the other guys. It was as if he answered just so he could open his mouth and respond to the question. There was no life to those words.

I just shrugged my shoulder after he answered. I tried to be civil, but he refused to do likewise.