Chapter 8

Taeyeon 

The next few days flew by. Sehun and I were slowly getting back to the way things used to be. He’s been spending more time with me in my room. We watched movies and caught up on the past four years we’ve lost. I loved sitting there listening to him tell me all the great places he wanted to take me to. I told him about my sessions with Dr. Boa and that I felt better. He made me laugh and it was like we never missed out on those years. I never got a chance to ask why he came back and he didn’t ask about GD. Things truly were starting to feel better. We haven’t talked about what happened between us and I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him about it. I knew that it would be coming soon and I prepared myself for that day. 

He tucked me in at night and surprisingly, the nightmares haven’t returned. I should have taken the initiative and told him how I felt but we haven’t had that perfect moment yet. I wanted to make sure it would be something neither of us would forget. I wished for that day to come soon.

***

It’s Sunday night and after hours of studying, I think it’s time for a break. I’m starving! I put my books away and decide to text Jessica so we can go out for the night. After writing three essays, studying for a economic test and reading about entrepreneurs, I think I deserve a break.

Me: Can you please come to my room?

Jessica: Yeah np. U okay?

I don’t text her back since she is going to be in here within a few seconds. I stare at my phone again looking at Sehun’s number. Before I can text him, Jessica comes rushing in, 

“Tae! What’s wrong? I got here as soon as I could! You aren’t a very good explainer in text messages you know! You left me hanging!” Jessica's out of breath as she falls at the end of my bed.

I sit up. “I’m sorry babe,” I laugh.

“Yeah’ I’m fine, just confused!” 

I fall back on my bed laughing. Jessica lies on her side while looking at me, 

“About what?”

I give her a small smile and cover my face. “Sehun’s been spending more time with me.”

Jessica's face lights up. “Wow look at you!” 

She comes over to my bed and I tell her how we’ve been. She listens to every word and doesn’t hide her delight. It feels amazing telling her all of this. I’ve been so happy these past few days and it feels right to be with Sehun again. We have a natural flow and it’s incredible to have these feelings. I’m smiling more and my confidence is slowly coming back. Jessica and I lay in my bed talking about random things when both of our stomachs grumble. 

“Well I’m hungry for some sushi, so get your cute little booty up and let’s go!” Jessica gets out of bed and puts on her jacket.

“Alright let’s go!” I quickly throw on a VS pink hoodie, my black Uggs and loop my arm through Jessica’s, 

“You’re the best.”

“Only for you doll,” She gives me a kiss on the cheek and we laugh as we leave my dorm.

Jessica goes on about how she went on a date with a guy named Lay but ended up leaving thirty minutes in because he was a bore. I laughed as she talked and wondered when she’ll find someone who’ll make her happy. As she continued to talk about her infamous hook-ups, Sehun and Kris appeared out of nowhere.

I feel my muscles clench and twist with desire at the sight of him. I just want him to take me in his arms. His gorgeous eyes are on me and unexpectedly I forget how to breathe, 

“Sehun.” As I say his name, I feel my face grow hot.

I watch his eyes looking up and down my body and I am shaking all over. I hope he doesn’t see how pathetic I look at just the sight of him. “Hi Tae, nice to see you again,” He says winking at me. Everything about him makes me melt. It’s getting easier to be around him. I try not to sound too nervous.

“Good to see you too.” Sehun comes closer to me and wraps his arm around my shoulders. I put my arm around his waist and smile.

Jessica steps next to me, “Sehun? Hey! I don’t know if you remember me from English class but I’m Jessica.”

She puts out her hand to him. Sehun  takes her hand. “Yeah I remember you. What happened? You were talking to me one day and then completely ignored me,” he asked laughing. I look away from the both of them but see Jessica’s scowl on her face. 

“Oh you know how it’s!” She eyes Kris and starts smiling. 

In all the years we’ve been friends, I’ve never seen her smile that way to anyone. “So what’s your name?”

I look over at Kris and smile reassuringly when I see him blushing. I remember how painfully shy he is around girls, but never me.

“Kris,” he quietly responds. He looks at me and I give him an encouraging smile.

Jessica moves away from me and walks over to Kris. “Well it’s so nice to meet you Kris.” She says in a flirtatious way. She turns around, winks at me then looks between them. 

“Are you guy’s hungry?”

I cautiously look up at Sehun and wonder what he wants to do. It’ll be nice to spend time with both him and Kris but I don’t want him to feel obligated to go. 

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”

Sehun smiles and pulls me to his chest a little tighter. “It sounds like fun.” 

He looks over at Kris and smirks. “Kris you down?” 

My heart is beating fast and doing flips. The sharp pain I used to feel is going away and now the ache of wanting him to be mine lurks its ugly head. I look over at Jessica and can see the thrill on her face of playing matchmaker.

I see Kris’s lips start curving in that mischievous way, “Oh yeah I’m down.” He gives me a wink and I can’t help but laugh. I miss him and his laughter so much.

“Perfect!” Jessica claps her hands together. 

“I’ll drive. Kris you can sit up front with me.” Jessica loops her arm through Kris’s. 

“You’re cute you know.” I see Kris’s body shoot straight up. I don’t know why he’s like this.

I watch as Kris and Jessica walk in front of us. I notice that Sehun’s arm is still around me. I slide my arm around his waist and hear his breath hitch. I feel alive and awake. It’s as though I slept for millions of years and his touch was all I needed to wake up. I want to be able to give him my heart and trust that he won’t break it but I hold back just a little because I’m not sure what will happen between us. I’m trying hard not to shake as I bite my lower lip and think about what could be. 

Sehun kisses the side of my head and pulls me in more. “Stop thinking,” He quietly says, 

“Let’s just have fun tonight.”

“How do you know I’m thinking?” I ask suspiciously.

“I know you Tae.” He squeezes my shoulders and I relax.

Jessica and Kris get in the car and when we get there I’m about to let go of Sehun when he opens the door for me. It’s been a while since someone did this for me. 

“Thank you,” I say to Sehun.

“You’re welcome Tae.”

As we all get in and start driving, I look out the window as my mind runs wild. I see all the Christmas lights throughout the trees and buildings. The night sky is full of stars and it’s beautiful out. The burning sensation goes through me as Sehun takes my hand again and caresses it gently. The spark that ignites with each touch sends me in a frenzy. I look over at him and see a smile on his face. I feel vulnerable with him, but in a good way. I want to share with him my heart and soul. 

His gestures show me that we’re okay but I sense a part of him is holding back like I am. I want to hear the words from him. I need to hear him tell me what he feels for me. I try to think about a good time we can talk about what I’m feeling and hope he feels the same way.

“So Sehun I hear you’ve been friends with my BFF since forever.”

Jessica looks in the rearview mirror smiling. I want to strangle her. My body tenses and this is exactly what I wanted to avoid tonight.

Sehun pulls his free hand through his hair, “I’m sure Tae told you we’ve known each other since we were in diapers,” he takes a deep breath in and looks at me, 

“But you know guys can be s sometimes and things happened.”

He glances down at me and smiles.

“Did Tae tell you she er punched him in the face and he ended up getting a nice bruise right under his eye,” Kris starts to say, 

“Taeyeon thought she was invincible and went crazy on us,” he laughs.

Jessica's hand flies up to to hold her laugh. “Whoa what, Taeyeon you never told me that!” 

I sink low in my seat and shake my head. I can’t look at anyone! Kris starts to explain, 

“Yeap. Tae came over to the house smashed, starts screaming at us and then boom right in the face. Sehun drops to his knees and she probably would have killed him if I didn’t pull the Hulk there off him.”

I’m dreaming. This is not happening. I want to just disappear. Sehun’s laughing right along with Kris as if that night didn’t matter. How could they laugh about what happened? Does this mean they forgive me and we can be friends again? I mentally hit myself because I sound like an idiot.

“Kim Taeyeon! Why didn’t you ever tell me what happened?” Jessica chuckles. 

I wince and try to let go of Sehun’s hand but he squeezes it tighter. I turn my head toward him and try to figure out what he’s thinking. His beautiful face is happy and I softly laugh to myself. This is what I’ve been missing out on-happiness.

We finally get to League Cafe’s and I can breathe again. Jessica and Kris get out of the car and start walking inside. I sink down in my seat not ready to leave the back seat of the car. 

“Hey,” Sehun starts to say, “Don’t worry about it Tae. It’s okay.”

I wince again. How can everything be okay? “I don’t get why you don’t hate me.” A part of me prepares to hear the awful truth but I need to know.

Sehun puts his finger under my chin and holds my face so I am looking into his eyes. The way he looks at me makes me feel happy. After looking at one another for a few moments, Sehun lightly kisses my forehead, “Let’s go inside.”

Before I can answer, he gets out of the car and walks over to my side to open my door. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He grabs my hand and shuts the door. He takes my hand as his fingers entwine with mine. I love holding his hand and I don’t want him to let go. When we reach the cafe, he holds the door for me and guides me in while placing his hand on my back. When we get inside, Kris and Jessica are already in a booth waiting for us.

“Took you long enough,” Jessica remarks and throws a hot towel at me.

We all laugh and sit down. Sehun puts his arm around me and pulls me in closer. He places his hand on my knee and instantly my body tightens with excitement. Thoughts of his hands all over me rush through my mind. I start biting my lower lip while looking at the menu with him. I close my eyes and slow down my breathing. This is bad. Our server comes to the table to greet us before taking our orders. We all order the sashimi platter that comes with salmon, tuna, clams, and white tuna. I can’t wait to eat! We all start talking about random things and agree that Winter break needs to come sooner. 

It feels good to be with my friends and not feel captive in my own room waiting for GD. All throughout dinner, Sehun doesn’t let go of my hand and keeps asking me if I’m okay. It’s sweet how he’s still looking out for me even after all these years apart. I keep taking in deep breaths as his touch makes me weak and I feel my body tighten. I picture us together again and we’re happy. I don’t feel alone anymore as I look at my friends.

We finish dinner and head back to campus. I feel my phone vibrate and take it out.

Jessica: Hey don’t make it obvious but when we get back just take Sehun out of the car. Kris wants to sit here and talk ;)

Me: LOL ok!

I put my phone back in my pocket and look over at Sehun. He’s looking back at me with question and I shake my head letting him know not to worry. When we get back to campus I start yawning and stretching my arms over my head,

“Oh wow I am so tired. Sehun can you walk me back to my room?”

“Yeah no problem,” He says slowly. I don’t think he gets it at first so I nudge him on the arm and look at Jessica and Kris. A light bulb comes on and he smiles.

“Alright guys I’m going to go and get sleep, busy day tomorrow.” I lean over and give Jessica a kiss on her cheek and give her a wink. 

“Bye Kris.” I touch his shoulder and give him a squeeze.

He touches my hand and smirks at me, “See ya Tae.”

Sehub and I get out of the car and start walking over to my room. It’s cold out and I start to shiver. 

“Hey wear this,” Sehun takes off his Givenchy jacket and puts it on me. It smells like my Sehun-fresh with a hint of mint.

I pull his jacket tighter so it covers me better. “Thanks Sehun.” We walk in silence; it feels peaceful at this hour, not many people walking around. There’s so much I want to ask and talk to him about but tonight is already perfect. I don’t want to create unnecessary drama and ruin the night. When we get to the building, I pull out my ID card. I want to ask him to come up with me but chicken out. 

“Thanks for walking me back. I get scared in the dark.” I look down at my feet afraid to look at him.

He rubs my arms and smiles. “It’s my pleasure. I like being around you Tae.”

“I like being around you too. Good night Sehun.” I begin to turn toward my door when suddenly he spins me around as he wraps his arms around me. 

“Night Tae.” We stay in this perfect moment like this for what seems to be forever and it still isn’t long enough. He gives me a kiss on the forehead before letting me go. I tell him I’ll text him in the morning before saying good bye one last time.

I get back to my room and change into my shorts and a tank top. I get in bed and try to fall asleep but my body misses him already.