DONGHO'S POV

           Everyone thinks I don't care or that I'm not interested. That all I ever do is play on my phone or a hand held game. They assume that I don't listen because I don't care but that's not all entirely true. Sometimes I'm just daydreaming. I daydream in the shower, in the car and while someones talking to me. When I play on my phone or games I'm usually just going through the motions. I can't concentrate anymore I don't even know how I get through practice.

           So what is it that I'm daydreaming about that has me so distracted? I would never admit this out loud but it's a certain hyung. A certain hyung that gives me so much attention, that watches over me like he's caring for his own child. I daydream about my hyung, Shin Soohyun.

           It started out innocent. I admired him for his talent with singing and dancing even though he was a rookie he performed like a veteran. Even when he wasn't leader he acted as one and always made sure we were doing what we were told. Then I started admiring him for his sense of humor and the way he would brighten up someones day when they were feeling less about themselves.

           One by one I found more things to like about him until it came to the point where all I was doing was thinking about those things. I would play different scenarios in my head. Sometimes I'd daydream about him praising me and replay what it felt like when he hugged me. Or I'd daydream that I was sick and he would take care of me and cuddle with me till I fell asleep. All were just innocent thoughts untill one day when Eli jokingly mashed our faces together causing the corner of our lips to meet into an almost kiss.

          I couldn't get that incident out of my mind and it was then that I realized I had developed stronger feelings for my hyung. All day everyday afterwards I replayed what happened. The heat of our contact, my beating heart, his rounded eyes these were the things I daydreamed about when my hyungs thought I was ignoring them. Even though that was so long ago it was still fresh in my mind like my feelings for him. They never went away no matter how much I prayed.

          Today is our down time and we all decide to relax together inside the dorm. I'm sitting on the floor with my back reclined on the couch because all the other hyungs had taken the other seats and as usual I'm stuck on the floor like a pet. Soohyun comes back from the Kitchen to claim his seat behind me. He hands me my snack and tells AJ hyung to turn down the lights. It's dim but not completely dark. Last time we watched a movie Kevin and Kiseop hyung scared eachother so now we have to watch horror movies with the lights on.

          I feel behind me Soohyun hyung getting comfortable. I hear him kick Hoon, not hard of course, so that he will move over. Hoon complains but moves over for our leader anways. I feel like I can hear him breathing close to me but I don't dare turn around and just keep my eyes on the movie that's starting. Suddenly his arm snakes around my chest and holds me tightly and I feel him nestling on top of my hair. "Hyung is here so you don't have to be scared." He says and I swear there is a hint of a smile like he is teasing me in his voice.

          "Hyung I'm not a baby!" I say in a whisper so I don't disturb the other hyungs. "Yes you are, you're my baby." He says nestling and squeezing me tigther. I want to scold him for carelessly saying things like that but I keep it to myself. If I say anything he might catch on to my feelings. We go through the rest of the not saying anything to each other but of course I don't realize the movie is over because I am daydreaming again.

          This time I'm daydreaming about telling Soohyun my feelings. How would he react, would he laugh it off and treat me like a child or would he take me seriously? Someone is shaking me and I look up to see Soohyun. Everyone had already left to their rooms it was just us. "Come on Dongsaeng lets get ready for bed." He goes to pull me up but I stay planted. I look up at him, "Hyung I like you." I say in a monotone. He stares down at me for a brief moment and then it happens.

          "Haha I like you too you're such a silly maknae." He says laughing as I predicted and treating me like a child as I also had predicted. He bends down and pinches my cheeks and I stand up slapping his hands away. He calls out to me as I stomp off to our shared room but I don't listen. I hurry and jump into my bed and cover myself up so I can pretend that I'm asleep.

          I hear him come into our room and shut the door behind him. My bed dips from his weight as he comes to sit beside me. "Dongho-ah are you awake?" He says but I don't answer. "Wake up ok, so we can get ready for bed." He nudges me but I roll further away from him. Instead of leaving me alone he crawls into my bed trapping me between the wall and him. He pulls on my shoulder till I unwillingly roll to look at him.

         "What's wrong Dongho-ah?" He asks. I take a moment to consider my answer. Should I take a chance and tell him the truth or do I go on with my life and spend the rest of it daydreaming. "Are you ok?" He asks another question and this time I answer. "Ani." I say meekly. "Why, tell me?" He says. "You." I tell him. "Me?"

"Yes you."

"What did I do?"

"You rejected my confession." I say boldly.

          He looks at me with eyes wide very much like that day when we almost kissed. "You weren't joking..." It wasn't a question but I shake my head "NO" anyways. Quickly before I have time to process what is happening his lips are on mine kissing me roughly. I let out a small whimper of surprise and he pulls away quickly, niether of us had realized that he had been practically on top of me.

"Hyung!" I gasp.

"I'm sorry Dongho-ah.." He says staring down at me.

          I'm still frozen on the bed, still trying to figure out if this is real life or not. "Don't be..." I finally say. "I wanted you to kiss me even if you didn't mean it." I confess to him. "But..." He starts to say but pauses. "But I do..I wanted to kiss you and...I want you." He says to me. "I've wanted you for a long time but you were/are so young I didn't want to confuse you and most of all preasure you." He confesses. "Hyung, I'm not a child anymore I know what I want and that's you." I say boldy and raise myself up to kiss him again.