(2nd part to "BREATHLESS" this came out differently than I expected and I apologize, but I can't help what I write sometimes/ heavily influenced by how much I miss AJ ;u;)

[Past]

We nearly fell through the door; our bodies twisting and mingling together as if it depended on our survival. Jaeseops hands roamed my body eagerly, freely as if I had belonged to him all along and my bodied reacted as if it had felt his hands a thousand times over. Our lips locked over and over again until it was only his breath I breathed. My body connected to the wall behind me and Jaeseop lifted me up effortless; my legs automatically wrapping around his waste to pull him closer.

His hot tongue felt hotter against mine as we battled eachother for dominance, and I gave in to his prowess. He grinded against me harder and let out a grunt as if he had become frustrated with something. Quckly he tugged at my pants, ing them and then tugging them down. I was suprised,sure, I knew this is what we both wanted but the way he was in control; like he had done this a hundred times made me uneasy.

"Seopie~" I whinned and I was answered by a grunt. I place my hands inbetween us and gently push. "What's wrong Kiseop?" Jae asked finally slowing down since we arrived at his place. "Jae...have you done this before, you know, in the states?" I asked and immediately felt silly. What did it matter if he did; he is mine now. "Are you being jealous Kiseop-ah? No, I haven't." He said smiling that cat-like grin and pulled me back into a deep kiss.

He led me to his bed and laid me down gently, much different than how we had began. Slowly he lowered on top of me, caging my body with his and kissed me slowly, deeply, endlessly. I pulled him closer to me wanting to feel his warmth, a reassurance that he was really here and not on the other side of the world. One by one our clothing came off untill it was just skin on skin, his rough patch of hair grinding against mine.

"Kiseop..." He breathed heavily in my ear and I raised my legs up instinctively giving him access to what he wanted most. Slowly he pushed in and I squinted at the pain. We were obviously unprepared but I gritted through the pain until it became pleasure; besides, all that I cared about right now was him. Too quickly he ed in and out and I wanted to scream, but I didn't in fear that he would stop. 

Finally, after what seemed to be a lifetime, our rhythem aligned, pleasure completely overcame the hurt, and I was digging my nails into his skin for all the right reasons. "Jae...I'm going to-" I fail to announce soon enough and I release between our bellies, but he didn't seem to mind as he continued to slam into me until his bodied quivered and I felt the warm wetness fill me. He kissed me on the forehead and whispered to me, "I love you," and I felt my soul leave my body with joy, my heart pounding like a joyous parade. I wanted to hear those words forever.

[Present]

Our relationship was beautiful like this for the short while it lasted. Everday I had with him was perfect, with no arguments, only happiness. We were the perfect couple, we complimented each other in every way, what I couldnt do he could do, but everything changed when he told me he was going back to Columbia. I thought he was done, at least for a long time, but after a few short months he was ready to go back for another semester. "I can't stay they wont let me miss another semester," he would say and I wanted to argue but I knew what this meant to him.

So we took this relationship long distance; we skyped and sang each other to sleep each night. He told me about his studies, about his friends; things he hated, things he missed. I did my best to always sound happy when we spoke even though I missed him to the point of having to flip my pillow over at night because it became to wet with my tears. I wanted to feel him; I wanted him hear with me and not on the other side of a screen, but I knew that it was too much to ask, besides one should never come between a man and his ambitions.

Eventually our conversations became smaller and our topics became fewer. I became busy with the new maknae and promotions while Jaeseop updated to kissmes about his university life; I was never the first person to know. And then the fighting began. We became paranoid of the other; Jaeseop always being skeptic of my relationship with Jun and I with his friends. I hardly ever saw them how was I to know if there wasn't a woman on the otherside of that camera?

Then things became quiet; no more skypes, no more calls or texts. The only things I hear of Jaeseop are on instagram and Twitter now. Even though we play nice for kissme's all our words are hollow. Not lovers or friends now, what are we? Do you miss me in that big city; do you think about me; do you even have the time too? Are you lying awake at night flipping your pillow too; are you lying to your friends? Or is there someone keeping you company, playing with you and enjoying the way you smile as you're kissing, while I'm working hard for U-kiss? Most of all, are you ever coming back for me or have you forgotten about me completely?

Don't worry, I will never ask you these things; I wont burden you. I'll remain here quietly holding onto our short, sweet memories, holding onto them tightly so they don't fly away like you did. 

(i plan to write a third part to this if anyone is interested. I don't have a lot of time to write like I used too. I really feel bad about it too. thank you for sticking around!)