This Isn't The End But a New Beginning
Children of the Night
Play, Listen & Read
Thrashing against the bed sheets is what brought me back to reality, it was only a dream that I was reliving; it was just as traumatizing as the nightmares of my childhood, years and years of abuse and nothing but neglect. That exact nightmare has been on a repetitive film for the past years, even without them here, I still sometimes call their numbers only to hear the disconnected tone ring. It was difficult to accept the fact that they truly passed on and into another life, it went from seeing them every day to never again. I was adjusting, horribly adjusting to this tragic event. Only three of them survived the battle, they really fought until they were exhausted and winded.
"Baby," a concerned tone washed over the racing thoughts in my mind. His voice made everything seem okay, not as terrible. "Are you okay?"
"Yifan.." My voice was hoarse and raspy from the screaming. I clutched onto his body, his arms embracing me closer to his body, for the sense of protection to submerge me whole. "I keep on have the same nightmare and it's scaring me."
"I know," he hushed my quivering with the of his hand through my hair, getting some digits knotted from days of not brushing or caring. "It'll go away soon, dream of me instead."
"I can still see them," I confessed, breaking into more tears that I've been bottling up. "I hear their voices, I keep thinking about them but I know they won't come back."
"It's okay. Sometimes I think of them and believe they're still alive but we should also cherish who survived and not only focus on the past. We can't save everyone nor can we reverse the clock."
"You're right," I shook my head of the remaining fragments of sleep. "I should be grateful that you're still alive and Minseok, Yixing too. You guys are all I have."
"Don't think like that." He re-positioned himself so we were both laying down, still snuggled into his chest. His hands trailed down to my stomach, rubbing in gentle circles. "That will make her upset with all your tears." I couldn't help myself but laugh at how miserable I was but yet how blessed I was to have Yifan. My hands cupped over his, spreading my love for the life we have and will bring to this world."You also have this little one, we should focus on our life now. We both appreciate the company of those three, their comforting, their beings. Now they'll watch over us three as we grow."
He was absolutely right- though we will solemnly miss their presence, we will always love them unconditionally and thank them for everything they've done for the both of us- our family should be surrounded with positive and happy minds. She shouldn't be put through our suffrage and we promised to give her the life we both never had, a normal life with a not so normal family.
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