Play, Listen, & Read

I shook the thoughts away, if he wasn't thinking of me I shouldn't either. Memories and moments like those deserved to be burned away like an old photograph. I focused on the real situation; the man I've known since I was younger, the man that has taken care of me when others wouldn't, the one person I can completely open my heart to, Wu Yifan. And he was torturing me, nibbling on the skin above my collarbones, creating a knot in my stomach. My fingers gripped onto his shirt in anticipation, my breathing was no longer stable now ridged wind filled my lungs until it burned. His hands kept searching, searching for a sweet spot he could occupy to manipulate me. 
"Y-Yifan," my voice staggered. He stopped before he could plant his lips again, waiting for my approval. But now, at this moment so suddenly, wasn't the right time. We were all in danger, the entire pack, myself, the population. He and the others should be resting while they had the opportunity. 
"You should get some rest," I meekly stated, my breaths still uneven. Even though it was an incredible feeling to be utterly loved by someone, but caring for their health was just as much love reciprocated. He understood that, at least I thought he did by the way he placed one last kiss on my forehead before bidding his goodnight. He muttered about being safe for only a limited amount of time then closed the door behind him. 
"Sleep well," I whispered, trembling to myself. Not only was it the chilly air that made me shiver, but it was the gruesome thoughts bombarding me one after the other. They all had something in common, death. Someone was going to die by the stab of a sword, I felt, I knew it. The realization frightened me, but deep in me, nothing good after this night would occur. It would only be blood and gore between these two packs. I didn't want to say it aloud or yet even think of it, but someone close to me was going to bleed to their fatality. That was what kept me up all night. 
"Oh God," my shaking hands gripped onto my head. It was about to burst, this was the breaking point. Flashing lights scorched my eyes, a burning sensation engulfed my chest whole. It was a flashback of me in my childhood. 

"Mama, can we play outside?" I pleaded with puppy eyes. It had to have some effect on her this time, plus I finished all my chores for the day. 
"Who the hell do I look like? Do you think I'll let you play with everyone else? You'll infect them!" She had slapped me many times, but this time I felt something different. A fire was set aflame in my heart, it was burning everything, my senses and my mind. I didn't want to inform my mother that this pain was excruciating, it would only create another uproar. She'll declare that I was only faking and abandon me, force me to do some other useless task, anything but what a true mother would do. So I endured it, as much as I could for so long. 
"You're the worst child I have ever laid eyes on, you're a pathetic pile of dirt! You caused your father to leave and my misery!" She slammed the door to her room, emitting the loudest echo I've ever heard. That echo was my childhood. Slammed doors, one after the other, rang in my ear as my tears uncontrollably fell. I've never cried so hard in my life. I wanted someone to take me right then and there.