I can't

The reflex of turning her body towards the other side of the bed was hindered by something closely wrapped around her. Gaeul creased her face and slowly opened her eyes, adjusting on the light emitting from the glass window. Her eyes trailed down as she lifted the covers away from her body. There she saw an arm wrapped tightly and securely around her. With a gentle and careful movement, she shifted her body and turned towards the person who was literally wrapping her into a tight embrace.

Gaeul just shook her head, seeing the one who's hugging her, and in an instant she pinched the nose of the snoring person beside her.

"Yah! Why are you sleeping here, Jandi-ah?"

Jandi grinned at her and held her even more tightly. "I've been a bad best friend to you. I'm so sorry, Gaeul-ah. It must have been so hard for you."

Gaeul frown at her statement, hearing her friend feeling regretful about some kind of neglecting issues between them, caused her to become a bit emotional.

"Yah! It’s okay Jandi-ah. I know you need to prepare yourself for your wedding and that Junpyo Sunbae needs you now." A rigid head shake came from Jandi.

"You sure you're okay? You're eyes are all puffy. And your nose is still red."

Gaeul just brushed the remark and smiled at her. "How about if we go and have some breakfast now?"

"Uh? That's what I'm supposed to say. Let's go, Woobin Sunbae and Unnie are waiting for us."

"Unnie? Oppa? What are they doing here?"

"Making us breakfast fast. Come on! Stop sulking over that selfish lover of yours."

"Yah! You just reminded me of it!"

Trailing behind her friend, Gaeul went to the bathroom first to check herself, before heading out of her room. Jandi had let her be, and went straight to the kitchen. Walking lazily, feeling not so good and with a frown on her face, Gaeul slowly headed to the dining area.

"What's with the early morning pout?" She wrinkled her nose to Woobin who was arranging the plates on the table.

He went to her, raised his chin while lifting hers as well. "You look a total mess, Princess."

Though he's done with his liking history over her, Woobin couldn't stand seeing Gaeul not being Gaeul-like, she being upset, more because it's because of his best friend.

"Hey! Will you at least smile? Just for today?" He uttered in a demanding type of tone, yet Gaeul just know what it meant, that Woobin's just cheering her up, so she smiled at him too.

"It would be better if it's like this." He reached for her cheeks pinching it slightly and then stretching it widely.

"The fish!" Woobin exclaimed and laughed out loud making Jandi chuckled at her seat. "Jandi-ah, have you seen a fish as cute as her?"

Gaeul heard her best friend laugh even more at Woobin's remark. And she slapped Woobin's hands away from her face and punched his shoulder. "Yah! Oppa stop that already. I'm hungry! What did you cook for me?"

"Jaekyung made the breakfast for us... I helped a little."

"Ahh... You taught Unnie well, Oppa. How are things going on between you two?"

"Comfortable." He grinned at her so wide.

For the entire time, Jaekyung had gazed at them, feeling a bit confused on why she's feeling a tinge of hurt inside. It's wrong for her to feel that way, because she didn't hold anything for him and that he might not be feeling like what she's feeling that very moment. Seeing him overly caring for her friend gave her the idea of Woobin liking his best friend's girlfriend, howbeit her mind argued, telling her that he's not the type of man she think of him. Then again she just felt envious.

Maybe I'm just being envious. Jaekyung thought and then Jandi pulled her out from her reverie. "There just like that, so sibling-like. It's like Gaeul is the female version of Yi Jeong Sunbea for him." Jandi spoke when she noticed how Jaekyung was at lost at the scene in front of them.

"Unnie, you like Woobin Sunbae, don't you?" Jaekyung let out a gasp from what Jandi had asked her. She opened for a several times, but words won't come out until there wasn't time for her to explain further because Woobin and Gaeul were heading towards them.

...

"I do understand. I'll be there in a minute"

"Okay. I'll be going. Bye!"

A sigh that gave off a hint of pain came out from her. Her face looked so down and sad that it made him feel worried. He lightly nudged her elbow trying to get her attention, yet she did not even move, so he grabbed her arm and pulled her as he stood up.

"Hey! Dr. Yoon, what are you doing? Why are you dragging me?"

Jiho halted from his walk and turned to her. "You said that you're going to wherever you said you were going, just then you aren't even moving, so I'll go and take you there."

It was unusual for him to explain the things he randomly do or even speak longer than six words; however he felt the need to let her know his actions. Jiho couldn't understand why he’s doing such thing thus it seemed to be the right thing to do when he's with her.

"No! You don't have to do that. I can manage on my own and in fact you have an afternoon schedule..." Her eyes went so wide when his face went so close to hers.

"I insist. Don't make me do things you dislike so better listen." He pulled out from the close distance and tugged her near.

Minsoe was left dumbfounded up until they went out of the hospital building and was shoved in a white luxury car she didn't even know how to pronounce the brand.

"Where?"

"Hongdae, I'll tell you where when we're there."

Jiho looked at her after what she said. "Mind to enlighten me about why you are needed there?"

Minsoe swallowed a little before looking away from him. "I just need to see an important person. He needs me at the moment."

She chose not to give him enough details; still Jiho looked at her as if telling her to speak more. It felt too suffocating. "Dr. Yoon, I can manage from here. Mr. Driver, you can stop the car at the unloading spot. Thank you!"

"Continue to drive Mr. Park." She heard him say before turning back at her. "I'll drop you off to where you have to be. I'm sorry on insisting. I will be more comfortable if I send you safely."

Minsoe wanted to get off the car and just avoid Jiho from getting into her nerves more. Currently, she had indirectly welcomed him into her world and Jiho had been the constant person who's always been beside her. She couldn't ask him straight on why he's always popping out anywhere she is, due to the fact that it's embarrassing. But Minsoe could not deny that she feels safe around him, beside the slight confusion she constantly sense whenever she's with him.

Jiho's some kind of mysterious, random and quiet. She finds him weird, spontaneous and surprising often times. "I don't know why you're doing this, but thank you. I did save money for... for the fare."

"We're friends right? You said if I wanted to be friends with you, I can. So that's why I'm doing this. To be honest, I really don't know why I'm actually doing this stuff, but I just feel that I need to..."

"To do such thing?"

"Yeah. I act on what I think is right, and basically people sees me as someone weird, even my best friends think of me that way." Jiho chuckled at his statement.

"I think it is really a privilege to be a friend of yours."

A smile crossed at his face, and then a long comfortable silence followed. After a few more minutes Minsoe asked the driver to stop the car right in front of a yacht club.

"Thank y..." She was about to thank him and bid him goodbye, however Jiho went out of the car and open the door for her. "I change my mind. I think I'll just go there with you."

"Really it's okay Dr. Yoon. You can go ahead now. I can do this myself."

"You're going to see your father, right?" His words were delivered in a factual manner without any hint of second thought.

"How? How did you know?" Her gaze was accusing and curious.

Minsoe's mind made a fast conclusion that this man in front of her might just know who she really is. "Kwon Jeonji, he is your father, right? This place is owned by him." With what he said, Minsoe just kept silent and turned away from him.

"Minsoe-ssi, I do understand your case." She heard him say and suddenly felt his hand on hers. "I'll come and go with you."

For so many times she wanted to just vanish from his sight, nevertheless she couldn't since he's always there. She wanted to ask him why he's treating her like such, and for that he answered her that they are friends. Anyhow, her intuition had given her a different vibe and since arguing with him at that moment was not a good idea, she just nodded her head to him instead.

As soon as they entered the receiving area of the yacht club, they were greeted coldly by the female staff. "Miss, how many times did I tell you not to come here? Mrs. Sooyoung doesn't want you coming here..."

Minsoe glared at the female staff and uttered in a razor sharp tone. "I'm here for father. He asked me to see him and if you happen to not let me in, I think you better talk to him first."

The staff opened and shut it after not finding a chance to retort back. All the while, Minsoe was holding on to Jiho's sleeve as if grabbing him for support. And right after she shot the staff with her words she dragged Jiho as they storm towards an office door.

A man in his mid-fifties looked back at them when they emerged inside the office. "You can... Yoon Jiho?"

She saw his father's questioning gaze thrown to them. Jiho bowed down, but did not speak anything and by that her father cleared his throat.

"I called you for this." A document was slid on the table to her position. "I'm sorry. But I need you to sign that."

It was a document asking for her signature, saying that she's indeed not her father's daughter and that she didn't have any connection to him or the rest of his family.

"I will sign this in one condition, you tell your wife to stop threatening me or any member of my foster family. We indeed have no connections to you, so why bother?" Minsoe grabbed a pen from her bag and signed the rest of the documents.

"I guess that would be it, nice to see you for the last time Mr. Kwon." She did not pay him respect and just turned around and grabbed Jiho out of the room leaving her father speechless.

She let go of him the moment they were able to get out of the club house. Walking in long strides, Minsoe left Jiho trailing behind her. She walked past the car she's been into a while ago and walked all the way to the bus stop station a few meters away from her. Tears were streaming down her face.

She hated feeling like being abandoned for the almost all her life. What am I anyway? Stray dogs and cats are more fortunately than I am. She thought to herself bitterly.

Ever since she came into life, it has been her refuge to be pushed away and dislike by her own parents. Her mother has been neglectful of her while her father though caring, chose to get rid of her because of his legitimate family. Being a person who came into life because of a mistake had been her every day journey. Both of her parents came from a prominent family who had an affair outside their marriages, after that, she came into the world. However to dismiss all the issues that got into each of their family, they chose to disown her and treat her as someone they just know by name. Then such day came, because she's already at age and has a good work for her to live adequately, her parents decided not to acknowledge her existence anymore. Even being civil to them had been stripped down from her. She would still be Kwon Minsoe, but not anymore the daughter of her parents, just a person who came to life because of a mistake which was disclosed to the public.

"It's their loss not yours." Jiho's words made her stop her track. "Don't feel sorry for yourself. Feel sorry for them, getting rid such a good child away from their life." His steps went nearer.

"Easy for you to say because you haven't gone through what I had been through - kept hidden from the public, treated as someone civil and not being acknowledged as their child. You haven't gone through that but that's just not it..."

"I've spend my life alone. Without my parents or anyone to guide and take care of me, just set of house maids and a butler. Having my best friends was the only consolation I had. I may not have gone through the same hardships as you did, but I'm telling you that it is not only you who is suffering in this lifetime... there are a lot and that includes me."

She felt being held on her shoulders, twirled around before she was met by warm embrace. "Give your best to those people who treasure you. And let those who abandon you see how wrong they were to let you go. Regret teaches us how hard it is to make sudden impulsive decisions. Although they might not be able to acknowledge you, but at least let regret teach them on how stupid they were to disown such a precious child."

She cried. Minsoe clung unto him and cried her heart out. Seldom in her life had she met someone who made her feel important, protected and taken care of.

Jiho suddenly felt compelled on looking after Minsoe. She might look strong from the outside, but she's definitely shattered from the inside. And now that she's crying in his arms, it made him feel drowned to her even more.

"You can cry all you want, just don't blow your nose on my coat."

"Yah!"

...

The clock had indicated that its 5:00 AM, it is obviously too early in the morning, also four hours before Gaeul's departure. Yi Jeong slumped back on his office chair and rubbed his temples, he wasn't able to sleep properly after the call he have with her the night before last night. Indeed she's leaving with or without his blessings. And it seemed like his opinion wasn't anymore welcomed.

Up until the moment, he clearly couldn't understand why she needed to be in Paris and stay there for months just to study. If she wanted to study for free he could provide for her or even call an internationally acclaimed teacher for her, but she decided to do things on her own. Everything was all jumbled inside his head and it made his pulses throb even more. To add to the sickening feeling he's having, there was also another thing that had bugged him tremendously, it was all about the unexpected visit he had yesterday.

Flash

"Sir, you really can't get inside. Please, my boss instructed us not to let anyone disturb him. Please... Sir!"

Yi Jeong bolted his head up and saw his secretary trying to push someone out of the door. "Let him in, Ms. Han."

His secretary almost lost her balance when she turned to him. "I'm so sorry Sir. But this guy here..." He held his hand up signaling his secretary to halt the explanation.

"I'll take this. You may now leave." With that, his secretary bowed and left the room immediately.

"What can I do for you? Junho-ssi? Right?"

His voice could send chills to anybody, yet he was surprise to see that it never made a single effect on the person in front of him who's sporting a relax and calm expression.

Without his invitation Junho walked and sat on the chair in front of him. Yi Jeong twitched.

"Let her go to Paris."

"It's none of your business."

"So as you”, Junho delivered levelly, "haven't you realize that you too can't decide for her?"

"As what I have said, it's none of your business."

His knuckles were as white as he curled his fingers hard against his palms. And although his face never showed how much irritated he was, Yi Jeong couldn't deny the fact that his words were delivered in between his tightly closed jaws.

"I hate to admit but the moment you came, she seemed to be brighter and happier. However, it is also because of you, why she's sad and quiet for days now."

Yi Jeong diverted his gaze away from Junho.

"It's been her passion, for how long I know that you knew. For you it's your craft on clay while for her its photography… Of all the people around her, it's all given, that you're the first person to support her, but it's so unfortunate to know that you're too much incapable."

"She had decided for herself and she's going. I think your visit isn't necessary anymore." He tried to deliver his word in professional and calm manner, yet it sounded a bit sarcastic in a way.

"I know that. But then, Gaeul isn't that happy to leave you acting as such. Do you know how hard it is for her?"

"She already did! She chose that event over us. Wait! Why am I even talking to you about this?" He raised his voice a little, showing him that he's indeed not comfortable talking about the matter.

Them talking it over, only made his head hurt and had made his heart twisted in a hundred folds. Yi Jeong thought of how less she had thought of him when she chose to leave than to stay. He felt like a toy being left under the dark alleys, not even sure if the owner is willing to get and take him back.

"You're dead wrong, So Yi Jeong." Junho was shaking his head. "Yes. She's leaving, but then it is you whom she chose. Maybe you don't see things like how she sees it." He pointed out, and his words were awfully familiar. It was how Gaeul uttered her explanation which he had ditched over.

Junho leaned forward, his eyes were challenging. "This is a warning for you. Don't dare screw things up. Because there are those who are waiting for you to screw the whole relationship, so they'll get a chance on her."

"I don't need any advice from you." Yi Jeong's eyes sharpened when he had comprehended what Junho meant. If he'd be honest, he would admit that it terrified him so much. "I know what I'm doing..." He said in a faltering voice, seconds after the room became silent.

"Do you? As what I can see, you don't. You clearly don't know that she chose you. You clearly don't know how many things she had set as side just for you, how many opportunity she had declined because of you. So Yi Jeong-ssi, I can vividly see that you don't know how much sacrifice Gaeul did just for you." He smiled at him, feeling triumphant that he had struck some nerves.

Junho stood up from his seat when he saw how much confused Yi Jeong had become. "It's not my position to tell the entire thing in details, but I hope it knocked some sense to you."

Yi Jeong did not speak and he took it as a sign for him to leave. And before Junho could reach the door, he turned back to Yi Jeong. "I don't think that you deserve such a person, So Yi Jeong. She's way too perfect for you. However, I can see that my friend is happy and that's enough to tell that she treasures you so much. To be honest, this time is an opportunity for others to knock on her doors..." He smirked at F4's Casanova as if telling him - 'If you know what I mean'. "And I'm not doing this just to entertain myself. It’s all because of Gaeul. I don't like seeing her sad because of a jerk like you." By that, he left Yi Jeong with some thoughts to ponder.

End

'You don't know how much sacrifice Gaeul did, just for you'

Frustration, irritation and confusion combined - not really the best feeling one could have for himself. He gazed back on the clock across him and saw that it's almost 6:30 am, only two in a half hour before she leaves for Paris. Yi Jeong pulled his hair out of evident self-rage. It was because he didn't know how to fix everything before it drift down to nothing. 

You blow things up. Stupid! You're so stupid So Yi Jeong!

He buried his face on his palms again letting out a grunt, when his office door flung open. "What is it again this time? Didn’t I make myself clear enough not to let anyone get in here?" He yelled annoyed and frustrated.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Yi Jeong abruptly bolted his head after hearing a familiar voice.

"Umah?!"

He was about to apologize, but when he met the stern look his mother had given him, he decided to shut up. It did made a hard knot on his stomach. The way she gaze at him was somewhat telling him that he'd be doomed in just a few minutes.

"I really can't believe how stupid you have become!" Haneul threw an envelope on his desk. "How could you be so unreasonable and selfish? Do you know that Gaeul turned down the scholarship offer your Grandmother had granted her? She's supposed to be taking her Masters in Denmark, but because she doesn't want you to get upset, she denied the offer and proceeded to Shinwa instead. Do you know how much she regrets to call the grant off? And Woobin also told me that she got an offer to study in New York and just like the grant, she turned them all down."

His mother drew a breath and continued. "Just for you to know, she had turned down a whole lot of opportunity and took that three months’ workshop instead because it's the only offer she have with a very short span of time. She's not also glad to leave you here behind; nevertheless, everybody is expecting her to be there. Of course, except you. And here you are making it even harder for her to leave. She got all her right to study overseas, to travel and to stay there as long as she likes, but she put your concern first. Am I making sense here, So Yi Jeong?"

Looking at his son expressionless face, Haneul could only shake her head. "I told you not to do stupid things because she's way too fragile. I hope you won't regret your actions." 

Regret. He thought.

Yi Jeong opened his mouth and tried to speak a word, yet not a single word came. She never mentioned anything to you, because she knows you'll get upset and that she had already turned everything down. 

He wanted to ask his mother to punch him in the face, however that would be ridiculous. Yi Jeong chose to keep quiet and work his brain out.

"I guess you really had gone stupid. I'm out of here and just to remind you this thing will reach your Grandma and your Father." Haneul turned back to her son and proceeded to the door, just as Yi Jeong leaped and ran after her. He grabbed her arm. And when she turned around, she saw a desperate look on Yi Jeong.

"Umah, will you do me a favor?"

...

All passengers for flight 1011 Air Austral, Seoul South Korea to Paris France all gates are open for boarding. Please be at the passenger's counter within the next fifteen minutes. Thank you!

She stood slowly on her seat and faced the rest of the gang. "I think I really have to go now." Gaeul smiled at them, yet her smile did not even reached her eyes.

Jaekyung went to hug her which she returned warmly. "Impress them with your photos. I'll be expecting to see you work on prints, arasso?"

"Neh Unnie, but I won't promise anything."

Gaeul then gazed at Jandi who seemed reluctant to let her leave. "Yah! You! Aren't you going to bid me goodbye?" She went to her friend who's hiding behind Junpyo and grabbed her arm for a hug. "I'll be fine, Jandi-yah. I will call you frequently. You can have my pillow if you happen to miss me, okay?"

Jandi did not speak and just nodded her head. She didn't like the idea of Gaeul leaving for three months, but she understood that her friend needed it for herself.

"Promise to always call me, Gaeul-ah!" She ranted after Gaeul released her from a hug.

"Of course! I'm the bride's maid right? I have to at least help you prepare. Don't worry it will just be three months maximum, Jandi."

Gaeul then felt a light tap on her head and she looked up to see Junpyo. "You know where to call if you're in trouble." She gladly nodded her head and smiled back at him. "Of course, to the Great Junpyo Sunbea."

"Don't forget to eat well and take down your personal notes."

Gaeul made her eyes into a slit and smirked at Jiho. "Better update me with the outcome, Sunbae. You better have some improvement, arasso?" Jiho just returned her with a smirk and a wink.

"So it's my turn to bid you 'goodbye'." Woobin went to her and spread his arms out which were answered by warm hug from Gaeul. "Don't worry too much. I'll kick his for you. Trust me he'll regret not being here."

Gaeul let go from the hug and punched Woobin's chest. "Promise me you won't beat each other out, Oppa? Best friends don't hit each other. Just let him do what he wants to do. Will you promise me that?" Woobin shrugged his shoulders, nodding his head lazily.

"What else can I do but agree, right?"

"Of course. That's why I trust you more." She signaled him to bend down a little which he did.

Gaeul went to whisper on his ear. "You take care of Jaekyung Unnie and don't do anything weird to her or I'll be the one to kick your . Anyways, how was the 'comfortable' thing going on? Update me Oppa, okay?"

Woobin laughed aloud and turned to Jiho. "It will be a race between that man and me, right?"

The whole gang laughed together except from Junpyo and Jeakyung who looked so confused at the moment, even Jandi cracked up when she picked the idea and now she's laughing and crying at the same time.

"So guys? I think I really have to go now. I'll call everyone once I'm settled there. Bye!" She willed herself not get teary and just flashed her friends with her warm and sweet smile.

Gaeul could see Jandi forcing herself not to cry in front of her, so for the last time, before she went off she came and hug her best friend. No words were said between her and Jandi, but they just know each other well. With that she bid them another 'goodbye' then after, Gaeul head towards the passenger's boarding counter. She was about to enter the premises when she heard a familiar voice calling for her.

"Noona!"

Gaeul whipped her head to the one calling her and she was instantly hugged by Siwon. "I thought we won't make it on time!" The kid uttered and then Gaeul look pass him seeing Junho heading to them while panting for air.

"You! How could you leave me behind?" Junho almost curse his brother out of frustration.

"Hey! That's enough. You're here to bid me good bye right? So you are not supposed to fight in front of me." Siwon grinned at her and hugged her again and she also stooped down a bit to return his hug.

"Noona, go kick their in Paris and go back after. I really want to watch the world tour with you. Okay? Okay?"

Gaeul nod at him earnestly. "Of course we will watch it together, pinky promise." Then they intertwined their pinkies together. "Promise." They chorus before Junho -in.

"Hey! You also have to promise me something."

"And what is it?"

"Teach me techniques okay?" Junho smiled at her sheepishly. "I'll keep notes for you on our workshop that's barter."

Gaeul only chuckled at his failure. "Aish! Arasso. Okay, but I really have to go now and that the two of you aren't allowed in here, so if you can see officers are heading this way. Now the two of you, better head back to the visitors spot. Bye!" Junho immediately held Siwon's hand and dragged him as they both waved to Gaeul.

"Noona be back soon. Bye!"

"Gaeul take care!"

She waved back at them and waited for her turn on the line. She's only a few passengers away from the counter, when she realized she was feeling bitter. He hadn't called her or even texted her just too at least say 'take care'. For the whole night she had waited for his call, but her phone did not even ring once. 

Maybe he really doesn't want me to leave. 

Her mind was arguing against herself, as if she's having a double personality at the moment and as the time went ticking, she couldn't help but feel reluctant to leave. 

You bid everybody goodbyes and then you're having second thought again? But what if things will turn worst? It will all be your fault. No. You're doing this for the both of you...

"Excuse me Miss? May I check your ticket and boarding pass please?"

With a shaking hand, she gave the items to the gate attendant. "Miss, are you okay?" The attendant noticed that Gaeul looked pale and at lost. She immediately straightened herself and smiled.

"Here you go. Please enjoy your trip..."

"Wait! I'm sorry. I can't..."