If only our long-time hidden secrets were revealed.

I would hold you in my arms.

~~~

“Good luck in America, Jinki. We know you’ll do well.”

“Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Park.” He glanced around. “Where is Sunyoung?”

The husband and wife looked at each other for awhile, communicating without a word. Mrs. Park sighed and said, “She’s not feeling well, so she’s resting. But she wishes you the best.”

Jinki just nodded, desponded, accepting the excuse. He glanced up to her room, and saw her curtains stirred.

“Well, tell her,” He muttered, his eyes still glued to her window. He took a deep breath and raised his voice. “Tell her I wished her the best too!”

He knew she heard him, and he knew he had surprised her. He can clearly see the curtains moving jerkily, and he swore he saw a glimpse of her hand between the slits before she snatched it back.

Well, serves her right for refusing to see me off, even though it may be for the last time.

Then he turned back to her parents to apologize for his rude behavior. They waved it away, saying they didn’t mind. He can see the amusement dancing in their eyes, but still, he apologizes and bowed low. They exchanged hugs and then he drags his feet, as slowly as possibly, to his parent’s car.

When he reached the car, he glared at the window, annoyed with Sunyoung refusal to meet him until the very end.

God, for once Sunyoung, get rid of your stubbornness and pride and come and see me. I need to see you one last time. I need to tell you how I feel about you.

“Well, I guess this is goodbye then,” Jinki practically shouted the words, frustrated. “Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Park for sending me off. I’m glad I can see you for the last time and to know that you supported me in my decisions.”

He knew he was being rude, bellowing loudly when the people he was addressing a mere meters away from him. But his words were intended for another, much far away person. Anyway, the couple didn’t mind, they were practically doubled over, cracking up at his actions.

Well, at least some people were entertained. It wasn’t a total lost cause.

He sighed, shaking his head.

Please Sunyoung, just this once. At least let me see you once before I go.

When nothing happened, Jinki had to admit defeat and reluctantly climb into the car, slamming the door shut. As they drove away, he kept looking back at the window, hoping to catch at least some last glimpse of her. A new thought occurred to him then.

Maybe she really couldn’t be bothered to see me off. Maybe it’s true, all of the things she said. She didn’t need me. She’s bored with me. Maybe I’m the only one that thinks we had something special between us.

“Come on Sunyoung, prove me wrong. Open your window and show yourself. If you just do that, I can be assured that at least I meant something to you. Please, just this once Sunyoung. Just a glimpse of you is enough.” He muttered under his breath, keeping his eyes glued to the window.

Please, just once.

But his hopes were dashed when the window went out of his sight without even once revealing its occupant.

---

Sunyoung was looking at the scene the whole time, hiding behind the curtains.

She didn’t trust herself not to bawl out her eyes in front of Jinki, and she also wasn’t sure if she could keep from begging him to stay with her. She didn’t want him to change his mind, so she didn’t come down. And besides, she wasn’t strong enough to face him yet.

No, this is for the best.

She gasped and instantly jerked backward as he looked up to her window. Not daring to open the curtains, but still wanting to see him, she resorted by peeking through the tiny gaps between the curtains. As he continued to stare intently at her direction, she started to wavered but then steeled herself.

It’s for the best.

She kept repeating that to herself.

When she heard him yelled out all sorts of things, trying hard to coerce her out of her hiding place, her resolve weakened greatly. But she soldiered on, thinking it would be best for Jinki if she stayed out of his life. This wasn’t about her, it’s about Jinki. He’s the only one that matters.

As she watched him drive away, her heart breaks a little more. The urge to chase him and to confess all of her deepest secrets was overwhelming. But she just kept watching the car until it a corner, then disappeared completely from her view.

Only then she crumbled, kneeling by her window and let the tears fall down her face.

“I love you.” She whispered through her sobs, revealing her secret she’d kept through the years. “I love you so much, Jinki. It hurts so badly but I have to let you go.”

If only I just told you my secret. If only I’ve told you sooner, I would hold you in my arms now. If only we had more time. If only I’m braver. If only I took a chance. If only…

But those were just wishful thinking. Jinki had left, and he’s not coming back.

---

A/N: Shinee won the award for Best New Artist at MMA on 14 Nov and f(x) won the award for MBC Music Star Award!!! So proud of them...

So, here's another update. I hope you guys enjoy it.

Thanks as always to my commenters, subscribers and silent readers. ^^Y Bubye~