...5, 6, 7 too tired to edit haha forgive me for typos, I'll go back later...

            That Monday at work, I sat at my desk after I prepared my lessons for my first class.  I taught at a private school.  Preschool in the morning, elementary classes in the afternoon.  I liked the school.  Our director was oblivious to the whole world.  In fact, she spent most of her time primping in her office and the remaining of her time traveling the world.  Perks of running one of the most successful private English schools in all of Seoul.  The head teacher was in charge since Director Koh was usually out and about.  She treated all of us teachers well, half Korean and half foreign.  She treated us all like teachers.  If we did our job, she didn’t have a problem with us. 

            Which is why I was allowed to spend the remaining 20 minutes of my morning prep time, searching Block b on the computer at my desk.

            “Hi,” Leah chirped as she flitted over to her desk next to mine returning from making copies for her class.  “What are you doing?”

            I paused the video I was watching and pulled the earbud.

            “You’re all about the Korean music scene, right?” I asked, resting my chin in my hands with my elbows on my desk, looking at my redheaded, blue eyed friend.

            “Absolutely,” she answered with a giggle as she began creating packets out of the copies she made, spreading them out on her desk.

            Leah hailed from LA.  Just outside Korean Town.  A strict Irish, catholic family.  Well off.  She went to a private high school that was, according to her, 80% Asian.  Most of which were Korean.  From that, her love for Korean music was created.

            “Have you heard of Block b?” I asked.

            Leah’s hands froze, mid stapling a packet.  The papers fell to the desk with a hushed whoosh and she turned to me, eyes wide and all I could think of was Jack Nicholson’s character from that movie The Shining.

            “Block b,” she stated.  Then she squealed so high pitched, I actually wanted to look around to see if dogs were coming.  Clapping her hands, she bounced in her seat a little.  “I love them!  I stumbled across them last year when they first debuted!  They’re so good!  Is that what you’re looking at?!”

            “Yeah, well, I…just saw them on TV the other night.  I never heard of them before so I decided to check them out.  I figured you’d be the best one to ask about groups.  I really like their music.”  And their lead singer, I added mentally.  But no one needs to know that.  Just like no one needs to ever know about how I stayed up half the night thinking about him and the rest of the night trying to convince myself that I shouldn’t be thinking about him so much.

            She squealed again.  “They’re so good!  Who’s your favorite member?”

            “Tae Il,” I answered automatically.

            “Hmm, I would have guessed you would be more of a rapper fan,” she mused thoughtfully.  I laughed offhandedly.

            “There’s something about him,” I muttered more to myself.  Then, catching the look on her face, I choked out a giggle.  “He’s hot.”

            She laughed and nodded.  “True.  I like his eyes.  On the rare chance he actually shows them.  He’s so good looking.  I wonder why he hides so much.”  She rolled her eyes and then laughed, fanning herself.

            I smiled.  “Everyone has insecurities,” I murmured.  “So who’s your favorite?” I asked, changing the subject.

            Her whole face lit up.  “Yu Kwon!”  She frowned and focused on the forgotten papers on her desk.  “No, Zico or Kyung.  Oh!  Or I guess PO.  I kind of like the rappers.  Tae Il is hot though now that you mention it.  But, Jae Hyo is a gorgeous specimen.  Except in their last interview, Min Hyuck was so sweet, I just…”  She paused and then blinked as if she remembered where she was.  “What was the question?”

            I laughed.  “That answered it.”

            That night, Tae Il called.  I didn’t answer.  I was eating dinner at my apartment, but then I felt bad about it when I saw the ‘1 missed call’ notice on the screen of my phone.  I tried reasoning with myself though.  That if we never spoke again, he wouldn’t care.  I shouldn’t care.  He’s famous.  He’ll make millions, eventually graduate into becoming a music producer of some sort, meet a beautiful girl, get married, have children, and grow old with his lovely wife watching their children and grandchildren come together on holidays.  Never once thinking again of the girl he saved one night at a club, whose name he’d long forgotten.

            I’ll be six feet under right around the time he hits the second step on that list.

            Tossing the rest of my ramyeon in the garbage, I grabbed my phone and flopped onto my bed, calling him back.  I urgently wanted to get rid of the lonely, desperate feeling that had invaded my soul.

            There are five days during the work week.  I spoke to Tae Il on the phone every night.  Three times, for a half hour.  One time, for an hour and one time for almost two hours.  He was waiting for his turn in the recording booth.

            Three nights, we met up past midnight to hang out for a little while.  I’d never really played the ‘get to know you’ game, but I was really enjoying it with him.  Even though it was mostly me getting to know him.

            Because when he tried to get too personal with me, I’d skillfully switch the focus back to him.  It was a game, I was slowly losing.  He was either getting better and sneakier at it or I was getting weaker.  I didn’t care to figure out which.

            Every time I heard his voice or saw his face, I tried to tell myself that I was just having fun.  This was nothing.  He was nothing.  But I could feel myself growing comfortable around him.  I didn’t quite get it at first, since I’d never felt like this before.  I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t help it. 

            Scratch that, I wasn’t trying hard enough to fight it.  Deep down, I didn’t want to.  It was that tiny little piece of me that still held hope that I had a future.

            That I’d live past twenty-five.

            That weekend, I went out with the girls from work again.  Same district.  Same kind of club.

            I was letting some Korean dude who went to high school in Hong Kong whisper sweet English nothings into my ear between kisses as he d me on the dance floor when my phone buzzed in my back pocket.  Nipping at his ear lobe so that he’d be distracted enough to pull his mouth and his wandering hands off me, I turned my back to him and dipped low so that I could reach my phone.  1 New Message. 

            It was from Tae Il.  Are you busy tonight?

            Turning back to face my suitor, I smiled seductively at him before I kissed him on the cheek and then disappeared into the crowd.  I wasn’t feeling it tonight anyway.

            No I answered back as I hid in a dark corner of the club near the bar.

            Where are you? I’ll come meet you.

            Glancing around, I shook my head and began typing back.

            I’m at a club. Let’s meet somewhere else.  How about near the Han River, where we watched the sunrise?

            I furrowed my brow after I hit the send button.  I shouldn’t have said that.  Subconsciously, I wanted to know if he’d remember.  I sighed when my phone buzzed in my grasp.

            If you’re at a club in the same area where we first met, then that spot is too far from there. You shouldn’t walk alone so late at night. Tell me which club you’re at and I’ll come pick you up.

            Like some cheap teen romance book, my heart beat faster.  I read his message again, chewing on my lip.

            I’m actually at the club next to the one where we met. The one with the green neon music notes above the door.

            I slid down the wall and crouched into a ball.

            Wait inside. I’ll be there in 15 minutes.

            My teeth ground together.  I shouldn’t have done this.  I went over to the girls from work to tell them I was leaving, but before I could, they told me as soon as they found Jenna, they were going to leave.  I replied that I’d help them find Jenna but that I was going to stay a while longer.

            After we found Jenna, Leah tried to convince me to go out to get snacks with them, but I insisted I was alright.  The usual.  I waved as they dragged Jenna toward the exit.  I waited exactly seven minutes before heading out of the club to wait on the sidewalk.

            I paced a few steps along the side of the club.  The ringing in my ears now louder than the music that was still pulsating from the inside.  Why did I do that?  Why did I keep meeting him?  Wasn’t this kind of leading him on?  I’m a bad person.

            “I told you to wait inside.  Are you trying to get abducted?” a voice hissed.