The next morning, after I woke up and was forced to eat – Tae Il blackmailed me, he said he wouldn’t eat unless I did, the doctor and his brigade of followers came in and gathered around my bed.  Tae Il sat up straight in that same damn chair he’d been in and out of for days now.

            “Miss Kelly, how are you feeling today?” Dr. Kurdian asked me with a cheerful smile.  I forced one out for him.

            “I’ll be great as soon as you cut to the chase and tell me what you know, Doctor,” I answered.  Tae Il squeezed my fingers and choked back a groan.

            “It’s alright,” Dr. Kurdian said more in Tae Il’s direction.  Still smiling, he added, looking at me, “I kind of figured you were the ‘no nonsense’ type, Kelly.”  I smiled and tried to look apologetic.  His face turned serious and I felt my stomach twist into a knot, sending waves of nausea up my throat.  “I have good news and bad news.  But I have to give you the good news first or else you won’t understand the bad news.”

            “Spit it out however you want, Doctor,” I told him after swallowing hard.

            “Your particular case is quite advanced.  There were traces of blood in your urine.  With the amount of nose bleeds you say you’ve had and blood that you say you’ve been coughing up, it further shows how weak your cells are.  Your blood is incredibly thin,” he explained gently.  I wondered how many people he’s had to give bad news to in his career.

            “You said something about good news?” I asked flatly.

            He smiled, a small one, but it was there.  “Your marrow has not yet been affected and your organs are still strong which means, while the disease is advanced, it is not to the point where you are beyond help.  There is something we can do, it's not the experimental treatment though.  It's a procedure, but it’s quite dangerous and it’s only been done a handful of times before ever.”

            “Would it hurt?” I heard myself ask.  Tae Il’s thumb began to rub circles on the back of my hand.

            “No, it won’t hurt.  It’s a...type of…”  I didn’t like how he was hesitating and choosing his words so carefully.  “It’s a type of surgical procedure.  We’d put you under anesthesia.  Which comes with risks too, of course, but you are young and strong.  I believe that lowers the risk factor.”  He paused and glanced briefly at the student doctors around my bed.  “It is still quite dangerous though.  We would have a bit of a time restraint and I, myself, have only done this procedure once before, but I believe it is the best course of action for you.”

            Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tae Il’s brow furrow.  “What exactly are you talking about doing, Doctor?” he asked softly.

            The doctor rubbed his lips together and looked thoughtful for a split second.  “A complete blood transfusion.”

            “What?” I blurted out.  “You’d replace all of the blood in my body?”

            Tae Il now had my hand pressed between both of his.

            “Yes.  We’d remove every drop of your blood and replace it with new, healthy blood.  From a donor with the same blood type.”

            “Whoa…” I breathed.

           “Wait, Doctor,” Tae Il began.  “This isn’t treatment.  If you get rid of her blood and give her new blood, she’ll be cured, won’t she?”

            The doctor smiled brightly this time.  Even the student doctors grinned at this idea.  “Yes,” Dr. Kurdian replied.  “She will be cured.”

            “That’s…amazing,” Tae Il sighed, looking at me.

            “How dangerous is ‘quite dangerous’?” I wondered.

            Again, his face turned serious.  “Incredibly dangerous.  Blood is what protects and nourishes the organs and veins and, well, everything inside the body.  We’d have to drain you completely before we could begin giving you the new blood.  There is a 60 second maximum allowance of time between when the last drop of blood leaves your body and we begin giving you the new blood.  If more time passes without blood in your body, permanent organ damage is likely.  However, we can’t give you too much blood too fast or that, too, can cause damage.  It’s a tricky procedure.”

            “And if I don’t do it?” I asked, staring into space in front of me.

            “Miss Kelly, I wouldn’t have recommended this if it weren’t your last, if not only, option,” the doctor informed me.  I nodded, unable to look at him.

            “Could she die during this procedure?” Tae Il questioned, my hand still pressed between his and now held up to his face.

            “I’m afraid so,” the doctor answered.

            “And if she doesn’t do it…” he trailed off.

            “Her blood will continue to weaken.  She will continue to have more nosebleeds and cough up blood more frequently.  She will eventually…bleed from her eyes and ears.  The blood in her urine will increase.  Her organs will begin to shut down…”  Even the doctor couldn’t finish explaining what sort of fate awaited me.

            “Damned if I do it, damned if I don’t,” I muttered.

            “Please don’t think that way, Miss Kelly,” the doctor chided in a fatherly tone.  “We can fit you in for the procedure tomorrow morning.”

            His tone made me curious.  I finally blinked and looked up at him.  “Doctor, what would you do?”

            He inhaled slowly.  “That is difficult, Miss Kelly.”

            “Fine.  If I was your daughter and you were doing the procedure, what would you want me to do?  Take the chance or wait to bleed to death?” I asked.  I wanted to sound angry, but I knew I sounded like the scared little girl that I really was.

            The doctor sighed heavily this time.  “In that situation, Kelly, I would want you to have the procedure done.  Bleeding to death is unavoidable if you do nothing, but if you take this chance, you could have a long life.  A long happy life.”

            I blinked to clear the tears from my eyes and I had to look away from the doctor.  I glanced over at Tae Il.  He had a scared, pleading expression on his face.

            “Tomorrow morning then,” I stated, speaking to the doctor but looking at Tae Il.

            “I’ll have everything arranged,” Dr. Kurdian assured me.

            As the student doctors filed out, Dr. Kurdian came over to the side of the bed where Tae Il sat.  He smiled warmly at him and patted him on the back before looking at me with another fatherly look.  He nodded to me.  “I’ll make sure everyone takes good care of you, Kelly.  Please don’t worry too much.  You are in good hands.  Everything will be alright, ok?”

            I nodded and with another reassuring smile, he walked out.

            If I had a father, I would have wanted him to be like this guy.  Even if he couldn’t promise or be positive that everything would be alright, he sure made it sound that way.

            Doctor’s orders said that I couldn’t eat for 24 hours, so my ‘procedure’ was scheduled for early afternoon the next day.  All I could do was lie in bed, pretend to watch TV, and try to make small talk with Tae Il.  They set me up to be pumped with fluids via IV, so I also had to pee every thirty seconds.

            When I threatened to throw a hissy fit, he agreed that it would be a good idea for him to go for a little walk and get something to eat.  He promised he’d be back soon.

            As soon as he left, I let the tears fall freely.  I was scared.  I’d known for years that my life wasn’t going to be as long as others, but the thought of it coming to an end tomorrow.  Knowing exactly when.  It scared me.  Really, really bad. 

            When I thought of the doctor’s words, a tiny part of me felt better.  It would last for a second before the crippling fear would take over.  I managed to calm myself in time for Tae Il’s return.

            Later that night, when I couldn’t sleep, Tae Il got a phone call and stepped outside.  I thought it was weird, but I had other things on my mind.  I barely thought much of it until he came back into my room.

            “Kelly,” he said almost excitedly as he closed the door to my room.  He patted the foot of my bed.  “Lie this way, next to me for a minute, ok?”

            Suspiciously, I looked at him, but unable to resist him, I let him maneuver my IV stand to the other side of the bed and I lay flat on my stomach.  He hopped up onto my bed on his stomach next to me and held his phone horizontally in front of us.

            Six guys were crammed into a couch and they were waving excitedly.

            “They video called me to talk to you,” Tae Il explained.

            I could only stare at the screen, frozen, for a second.  I gingerly touched the screen.  “Kelly noona!” they shouted together.

            “Hey, guys,” I greeted them quietly.

            “How are you feeling?” Yu Kwon asked, forcing himself more in front of the camera only to receive an elbow to the gut by Zico.

            “I’m ok,” I answered, unable to put more effort into my voice.

            Jae Hyo knocked both Yu Kwon and Zico out of the way with one of his long arms and stuck his face directly into the camera eye of the phone, his whole head filling the entire screen.  “Don’t lie to us.  You look like crap.”

            “Hyung!” Zico gasped, attempting to get back into the center of the screen, but failing at getting past Yu Kwon’s shoulder.

            I giggled.  “Zico, it’s ok.  I appreciate your honesty, Jae Hyo.”

            He grinned, until the maknae of the group came for his 15 minutes of fame.

            “My turn!  My turn!” Ji Hoon growled, actually crawling over Jae Hyo to get to the screen.  “Noona!” he exclaimed, ignoring the pained protest of the older boy.  “Noona, will you come visit when you get back to Seoul?  We haven’t been seeing you much before Tae Il’s plan to kidnap you and whisk you away to Japan.  I’m tired of him hogging you all the time.”

            “Sure.  We can all hang out,” I responded with the best smile I could muster.

            Min Hyuck draped an arm around the youngest member’s shoulders.  Looking at me through the screen, he smiled lightly.  “Kelly noona, we know about tomorrow.  You’ll be ok,” he stated with a nod.  The others squeezed into the shot and began nodding in unison.

            We talked for a few minutes longer.  I liked hearing about how their album was coming along or the pretty extras in their music video.

            All was going smoothly until they began to argue over who could hold the phone and get the most attention.  In fact, they got so into the argument, they didn’t even notice that Zico had taken control of the phone.  He smiled into the screen and waved at me.

            “Come home soon, ok, guys?” he said.  Casting a quick sideways glance at his five friends off camera, still heard clearly arguing, he looked back into the screen and smiled wider.  “We miss you.”

            “Thank you, Zico.  You guys are…”  I sighed and touched the screen again.  “You guys are amazing.”

            Zico grinned a toothy grin.  “See you later!”  Then clearing his throat exaggeratedly, he looked to his friends.  They were still arguing.  He rolled his eyes and leaned off camera to yell at them.  The camera of the phone fell sideways and Tae Il and I had a perfect view of the ceiling for a second.  The arguing stopped and when the phone was righted, six guys were sitting perfectly in a row.

            “Bye, hyung!” they said together with a wave.  Tae Il laughed.  “Bye, Kelly noona.  Fighting!”  They all posed for the camera before we said our goodbyes and ended the call.  I smiled at Tae Il.

            “Thanks,” I told him.

            He leaned over and kissed me before jumping off the bed.  “Rest now, ok?”

            I nodded, crawling back to the head of the bed.  Tae Il made himself comfortable in that damn chair next to my bed.

            “Tae Il,” I said as I let my head loll to the side, facing him.

            “Yeah?”  He put his elbows on the mattress near my arm.

            “Um, I wanted to tell you something,” I began nervously.  I folded my arms up and began playing with the edge of the blanket near my chest.  “Well, you said this a bunch of times already and I always wanted to say it, except that I’m not very good at this sort of thing, but I figure now I should probably get over that and just say it now because tomorrow, I might-”

            “No,” he interrupted firmly.  “Don’t, Kelly.  Don’t say it right now.”

            I clenched my fists around the blanket and stared to him incredulously.  “Why?  I should have told you this when you first said it, but I was too scared.  I need to say it now though, Tae Il.  I may not get another chance.”

            “You will, baby.  You can tell me tomorrow when you wake up.”

            “But what if-”

            “Everything will be alright, Kelly.  We can talk about this tomorrow.”

            I flipped onto my side, forgetting about the IV and almost ripping the needle from my hand.  Instead of adjusting my position, I threw my arm back toward the IV stand so it wouldn’t stretch.  “But I don’t want to die without telling you-” I tried again hurriedly.  His eyes widened and he covered my mouth.  He actually put his hand over my mouth.  Shaking his head, he blinked slowly.  Once, twice.  Until the tears disappeared.

            “We’ll talk tomorrow, ok?  Baby, when you wake up, we’ll talk,” he stated.

            All I could do was nod.  He wasn’t budging on this.  I could see it in his eyes.

            He moved his hand and sat comfortably, as comfortably as he could anyway.

            Forcing my eyes shut, I prayed that all would go well.  That I would be able to teach another year.  That I would be able to see reindeer in Finland and eat food in Singapore.  That I would be able to do good things.  That I would see the guys again.

            That this wouldn’t be the last time I heard Tae Il sing.