Junjin was cleaning. Well, not really cleaning, per se. More like stuffing all the scattered things on the floor into boxes and shoving these boxes into corners where nobody's going to see them.

 

He's been rummaging here and there when a box of photos fell from the closet he was trying to close.

 

"Aish" Junjin exclaimed and started to pick up the photos. 

 

As he's picking them up, one particular photo caught his attention. It was of him and Andy. He doesn't remember when it was taken but he thinks it was probably during a photoshoot. They were goofing off at the side while one of the members was having their photos taken, as always.

 

Andy's smile was just refreshing. It was a smile that would lift anybody's spirits up.

 

Junjin can't help but smile too. But the smile faded in an instant.

 

He doesn't realize it, but he started crying.

 

"Andy" he whispers, clutching the photo to his chest as he cried his heart out.

 

Dongwan came home from a schedule, carrying some take out sashimi when he hears the sound of someone crying. At first he thought of the ghost story he heard from one of the tenants in their floor when he found Junjin.

 

"Jin-ah, what's wrong?" DongWan asked.

 

Junjin continued to cry.

 

"Is it.. Is it still about him?" DongWan cautiously added. He doesn't want to aggravate Junjin any further.

 

"Its okay, hyung. I'm okay" Junjin said, his head low. 

 

"Just leave me alone for now. I want to be alone"

 

"Okay, I understand" giving Junjin a pat on the back as he retreated and closed the door.

 

As soon as the door closed, Junjin's tears began to trickle down the side of his face again. He can't help but feel responsible for what happened. If he hadn't.. if he was just serious that night, Andy could still be here with them.

 

Outside the door, Dongwan could still hear the heartwrenching sobs Junjin's making. It breaks his heart that all he could do is to listen outside the door as his dongsaeng cries his eyes out. He probably thinks its all his fault.

 

Every single one of them blames themselves.

 

Sighing, he busied himself by taking out the sashimi he brought home and placing them on plates. When Junjin's feeling better, they'd eat them together.

 

Dongwan looks at the group photo they had on the shelf. It was right after they won first place for T.O.P. The members wanted something to remind them of that time so they just huddled up for the picture.

 

"Andy-ah, we miss you. Your hyungs are sorry for what happened. I hope you can forgive us" Dongwan said to the air. He hears the door opening.

 

"Hyung, I smell something good. Did you bring something yummy?" Junjin sniffing, asked as if nothing had happened.

 

"Mmm, Jin-ah. I brought home sashimi. Let's eat!" Dongwan caught on. He knows Junjin enough. He smiles as his dongsaeng started to eat.

 

2001 Guerilla Concert

 

Junjin worked so hard. Their schedule was packed but still, Junjin did his best to get this for the team. Its been 6 agonizing months of waiting. Junjin prepared a lot for this to be a success.

 

Now that they're promoting for the concert, their hearts beat faster as the time slowly approaches. The number of attendees is still uncertain at this point.

 

They gave out posters, went around town, gave special performances, practically everything, even jumping down the truck while stuck in traffic. They interacted with fans. One particular fan had an Andy poster. The members saw it and felt energized. They need to do better.

 

The time has come.

 

They were given blindfolds as the hosts of the show introduce them to the audience.

 

"Hello everyone! We are Shinhwa!"

 

The venue is silent. The Shinhwa members feel uneasy, their hearts still beating faster than ever.

 

MinWoo's confidence when he challenged 10,000 people is now slowly fading.

 

Hyesung bitterly smiled, not sure what to think.

 

Dongwan, slowly losing confidence, is worried.

 

Eric silently stands at the side.

 

"Junjin-ssi, you were the one who wanted to do this the most, weren't you? Why did you want to do it so bad? You've been waiting for so long" asked the host, directing the question to Junjin.

 

Junjin, even with blindfolds on, started to tear up. He couldn't even answer as tears kept flowing. DongWan reached for his hand and held it tightly.

 

"I'm sure you have a lot to say that you weren't able to say before so today we'll give you the chance" the host said.

 

"Jinnie, Dongwan, Hyesung, Eric who are here and Andy who we want to be here... I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you" MinWoo said, trying to hold back his own tears.

 

"It was because of the members that I could bear the last 4 years. But lately, I haven't had the chance to express my love. I love you guys" Junjin said, still trying hard not to cry harder than he already is.

 

Each members started to show what they had felt inside. They've been keeping everything to themselves for so long.

 

Now revealing the jam-packed venue, with the audience cheering them on after silently watching them, the members feel as if time has stopped. They couldn't believe it. 15,000 people came to the concert. They feel so thankful they gave a bow to everyone.

 

It would've been more perfect if they had been complete.

 

What a bittersweet moment. 

---

A/N: Here it is! It was a bit late. Thank you so much to all those who left comments. I appreciate them so much.

Most of you are wondering how Andy died. Yes, it will be revealed in the next chapter. I'm currently writing it up as of this moment. Just wait a bit more. It may take me 2-3 more days to finish (including some proofreading for that chapter)

Thank you again if you're still reading this author note. It means you stuck by this fanfic that's a bit on the crazy side.

Comments are highly appreciated. They make my head work. ^_^