“Miss Park, Wake up!” was the first thing I heard as I groggily opened my eyes. My blurred vision slowly became focused, and I looked around at the familiar white walls of the room I knew all too well. I sat up, only to have a slight dizziness linger within me. I let out a slight groan as I straightened myself up to look at the nurse. I managed a small smile.

“Today’s the day, isn’t it?” I said, my voice slightly louder than a whisper. She looked at me with a serious face, and walked out, leaving me in silence. I looked outside at the slightly torn ribbon that was still strongly hanging on the tree. I sighed while reaching for the single piece of paper that was on my table, almost falling in the process. It was strange; both calling it my table, as well as the loss of strength I had been cursed with. It was even stranger that I got accustomed to it, all of it. The hospital, the weakness, the sickness, the visits, and even the denial. Denial that in a few hours, I was no longer going to be breathing. It made me feel suffocated, but at the same time, it made me feel like I was wasting time. Time that could be spent with him.

I knew it was delusional, to talk about him as if he was still a person. I still had hope, though. Hope that my eternal paradise would be somewhere with him. That’s the only way it could ever be considered any heaven of some sort.

My hands shook as I sloppily made the last crane. I knew it was a bit early, but if I forgot later, it would be a waste. I put it on the windowsill, along with the other 99 cranes I had spent my time making. As time went on, I noticed that the loss of strength I had made me shaky, and that shakiness was apparent in the cranes, which got progressively sloppier. I was beginning to get lost in my thoughts when the nurse came in once again, with a tray of food, and someone following behind her. That someone was Jaehyo.

He had somehow found a way to come visit me everyday since I had considered jumping. Even when my own family didn’t come to visit. The nurse nodded at me as she set the unappealing food down, and bowed to Jaehyo on her way out. Jaehyo pulled up the chair that was sitting in the corner of the room near my bed, sat down, and smiled at me.

“Here again?” I said, in what I wanted to be a playful voice, but that just came out as a sort of croak. He smiled even wider.

“Hey, I’m missing my drama for you! Be grateful.” He said, and raised his hand as if he was about to playfully push me. I guess he realized I would be much too weak to sustain the gentle push, for he promptly scratched his head. I let out a weak smile. Silence shortly followed.

I had never learned to like silence again. It was my only companion through these torturesome days, and day after day, it got even more harming. It was sort of irritating, really. I mean, it was my last day, the last day he could ever see me, and here he was, sitting here as if we had all the time in the world. My tolerance of most things had also gone with most of the days that had passed.

“Will you say hi to him?” I was taken aback by the sudden outburst from Jaehyo. I looked at him, and I could swear his eyes were moist.

“What?” I said. I hadn’t fully perceived what exactly he had said.

“Say hi to him for me. He was my best friend, you know. And… I miss him.” His eyes did really get moist as he was saying that. I knew after thinking about it that he meant Zico.

“I don’t know if that’s where I would go… when I die..” I said lowly. As death grew closer, I started questioning it. Was it really a passage to an eternal paradise, or was it just a gateway to isolation; an endless sleep with nothing but the darkness and silence I had grown to despise.

“Of course that’s where you’ll go. If you couldn’t be happy in life, you have to be happy after death.” Said Jaehyo, while standing up and turning his back on me. Through observation of James, Mino, Taecyeon, Junho, and my father, I had learned that it’s what all males did when they didn’t want you to see them cry. We were followed by silence again.

“Listen SunMi,” Jaehyo sighed, and turned around to face me once he had decided he was ready to look at me again. “I think I’m going to go now. I’ll come back later, when everyone else is here. It’s just.. this one on one thing… I can’t do it. It’ll make me miss you too much tomorrow. Hell, tomorrow morning, I’ll probably just come here by habit again, and break down when the nurse tells me you aren’t here. I’ll see you one last time later, though. Don’t worry.” He said, patting my head then walking towards the door. “I love you, kid. Don’t forget to pass on the message to Zico.” He said, before walking out and leaving me alone.

Although his goodbye made me sad, I realized that I might as well hold my despair in, for that would be the first of many.

It had already been about an hour since Jaehyo left, and I was doing absolutely nothing. I was sitting there, waiting. Not for someone to come visit me, but to wake up from this horrible nightmare. Or maybe waiting for me to quietly die without anyone having to morn for me. The door opening disturbed me from my all too frequent talks.

It was Junho and Taecyeon.

“Hey Cris.” Taecyeon greeted me as he walked over to my bed, to attempt to hug me. I shrugged him off.

“Gross, you’re all sweaty.” I said, causing him and Junho to look at each other and chuckle.

“We just got off practice, what are we supposed to be?” Junho said, raising up his arms and putting them near my face.

Taecyeon and Junho, along with their friend Wooyoung, had recently been discovered by the one and only, JYP. I had no idea Taecyeon had any talent whatsoever, so this came as a shock to me. I was immensely happy for him, though. Through the tough training, and eventual fame he would receive, there would be no time for him to even let me cross his mind. That was a very good thing.

As I kept thinking more about it, I realized that everyone’s lives seemed to have gotten better without my presence in them.

Rina and Kwangmin were as happy as ever. I heard James’ band was prospering, and that he had gotten quite a few female fans. My dad had been promoted in his job, and he and my mother were expecting a child. A brother who would never know about his sister. But his presence would make them feel whole, wouldn’t it? There would be no one to miss me. I smiled at the thought. Death seemed like more of an old friend to me now.

Before I knew it, Taecyeon and Junho had left, promising to return, and were replaced by a very serious James.

“What’s wrong?” I said, grabbing him cheek and pinching it. His lips didn’t even twitch.

“What do you mean what’s wrong?” he said, grabbing my hand. “The girl I love is dying. She’s not going to exist tomorrow.” His words took me by surprise.

“The girl you love?” I repeated, dumbly.

“I never stopped loving you, SunMi. I just wanted you to be happy. And your short happiness led to this. If I would’ve just fought.. if I would’ve kept you mine… you wouldn’t be laying here.”

“But I would be unhappy. That short happiness … was all I needed to want to die without a problem.” I said slowly. “James, you don’t know how much you mean to me, and you don’t know how much I admire you for letting me go. You’re just as responsible for those smiles as he is. Don’t you dare forget that.” He had tears streaming down his face.  His face turned to the clock, it was 6 PM. I had an hour before I was supposed to fall into eternal sleep. That meant that everyone would be gathering around soon.

And what do you know it, not even ten minutes later, everyone that had been visiting me throughout my stay was with me.

40 minutes left. I sighed.

“I guess I have to start doing this now, I don’t know how long it will take, anyways.

“Rina, did I ever thank you? You made my first day in Korea wonderful. You’re such a beautiful person, and such a great friend. I’m glad you and Kwangmin are still going strong. If he hurts you at all, just remember that I can come back anytime to haunt him.” She giggled then covered , hinting that she would cry any second.

“James, I told you this before, but you have no idea how much you mean to me. You have no idea how great of a friend you have been to me, and you have no idea how much I want to thank you. Keep being the nice guy I know you are, and don’t you dare hurt any girl’s feelings, okay? It doesn’t suit you.” He nodded at me, and walked to where Rina was, wiping his own eyes.

“Junho, Junho, Junho, did I ever tell you that you were the cutest friend my brother ever had? Thanks so much for being that older brother figure I needed while Taec was gone, and keep taking care of Rina. I know you’ll be a lady killer with that smile of yours when JYP makes you a super star. Don’t forget to mention me in your acceptance speeches.” He chuckled before walking over to me, kissing my forehead, and following James to stand by Rina.

“Taecyeon, Taecyeon, Taecyeon. You are the biggest I have ever had to live with. Next.” I said, giggling. He looked at with disbelief, and then very lightly pushed me while laughing. “I’m kidding. You are such an overprotective older brother, but that’s your job, isn’t it. Thanks for helping me convince Mom and Dad that Zico wasn’t bad for me, and thank you for stealing my boyfriend away from me various times. I’ll tell him you say hi when I see him next. I love you, man. I never told you this, but I love you to bits and pieces. I can’t imagine what my life would be like without you. Don’t be a player with the girls when you get famous, and you better mention me in interviews.” I said jokingly. Out of nowhere, he hugged me and began to silently weep. He pulled himself together, walked over to the other 3, and joined their silent crying.

“Dad, how I regret not being with you for most of my life. I’m glad I got to see you before I died though. Congratulations on your promotions. You were very unfair, and overprotective, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. Thank you, for letting be with Zico, and letting me die without guilt.” He grabbed one of my hands and began it. “And mom, the same goes to you. Thanks for being that firm hand that I needed back in the states. Keep being healthy, so your new baby can grow strong. Tell him a lot about his big sister, and be sure to tell him that I love him. Don’t be so harsh on him if he gets as rebellious as me. I love you so much mom. I’ll miss you.” She grabbed my other hand and we stayed like that for a while. My father had to eventually pull her away because she was about to weep.

“Mino, what can I say about you? You’re so quiet, but so amazing at the same time. Thank you for being my friend, and for continuing Zico’s wish even after he left. You’re a truly amazing being, and I hope all goes well for you in life.” He nodded, hugged me, and stared at me for a while, before stepping back.

“And last but not least. Jaehyo. My guardian angel. Maybe I should be yours now that I’m gone, huh? Don’t ever quit being the sweetheart that you are. I have to thank you so much. You went from being a ert, to saving me, to sticking up for me when Zico wouldn’t, to saving me again. I would probably be dead if not for you. I love you. I truly do. Oh, and close your mouth.” I added with a smile to stop the moisture falling from his eyes. It worked for a little bit.

Those speeches had taken up longer than I thought, and once my goodbye was finished, a nurse ushered them out. I could hear their weeping, and their protests. I wanted them to stop. How was I supposed to leave peacefully if I knew this was going to happen? I sighed, and thought about how great their lives would be.

I got flashes in my head from moments since my birth, moments I loved, and even moments I hated. I thought about my life as a whole; I had achieved happiness.

“Nurse, I’m ready to go now.” I said, smiling. I grabbed my stuffed animal that reminded me of Zico, took one last look at my family and friends, that were looking through my window, waved goodbye to them, whispered “I love you all”, and closed my eyes. A calm, serene darkness swooped over me.

There was a tall man sitting in a chair next to the window to a coffee shop. I squinted my eyes, trying to match the figure with the one I had tried to keep in my head for so long. He turned around.

It was him. Undeniably it was him.

“SunMi. What took you so long? I’ve been waiting for a while now.” He stood up and gave me his arm to hold. “Shall we go now?” 

~~~

Waaaaah, It's done! My first actual story is done.

Thank you so much to those of you who have been reading from the start, as well as those of you who read through all of it. I hope you all really enjoyed it!

Please leave a comment, or even a wall post telling me what you think/thought of the story! I want every single one of you to. It would make me really happy~

Please look out for my other stories:

One Of A Kind: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/89110/one-of-a-kind-b1a4-baro 

And Trainee: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/70533/trainee-2pm-bigbang-dbsk-korean-kpop-sment-ygent 

I love you all, and have a wonderful day!

Love,