"Am I.. going to be okay?" I whispered to myself. I touched the surface of the window, staring into the sky.. meeting my gaze with the moon. I sighed and took a seat on the couch, pulling my legs up, hugging them while I placed my chin on my knees. I stared at the ring Kris just put at one of my finger, the finger ring. Wu Yi Fan. The guy who's always been there for me, the only bestfriend that I ever had. I never thought I would become his wife.

I frowned at the thought of marrying him. Is this for real? Sometimes I would ask myself that kind of question It's really weird the way I'm feeling right now. I'm not really sure what actually bothers me but I'm certain that something is missing. Like a piece of memory or something important. Why do I have the feeling like I should've married someone else. A guy, whom I don't really have a clear memory with.
 

Why Can't I at least imagine his face? Everytime I had a thought of him, I'd always have this uneasy feelings. I'm not saying that I don't want to marry Kris. I love him, I do and I do need him. He's the only one that I have. But the fact is I don't think he's the guy that I'll marry if this man is here, right beside me. The man who'd always give me the uneasy feelings. I don't know. It seemed like somebody take away the memory of him, on purpose.

I the surface of the medicine bottle. It's for cough. I don't remember I have that medicine and I don't even remember I keep roses in my room. Maybe.. somone put it there. But.. who? It can't be Kris.

"I love you."

"I know."

My head hurts again. Who is that? Why does the dialog always come out of nowhere and fiiled in your mind. Who is him? Who is the guy that I used to love? "Who are you?" I don't know why am I talking, the question just came out. "Young Mi." I heard a voice called me. A similar voice. It's not Yi Fan's, it's not mom's, it's not dad's. "It's me. Your oppa." I turned to the direction of the voice and let out a small gasp.

An angel was standing right before your eyes. He had huge long white wings, he was tall structured, he had those dazzling eyes, red lips and a cute nose. "O-oppa?" Your voice cracked as you whispered. "K-kyungsoo oppa?" You stood on your feet and slowly made your way towards him. You could see his face was tired, not that kind of working type of tired.. it seems more to the depression one. He looked like he's been crying for the whole day. You fastened your steps when you finally realised who he was.

"I'll call you Youngie from now then."

"And I will call you oppa, Kyungsoo oppa."

Tears started to be flowing out from your eyes. You hugged him and placed your forehead on his chest. He hugged you back, gently your back. He's your first love. He's your first boyfriend. He's the guy who sacrifice everything just for you. "I''I'm sorry. I've missed you so much." He whispered to your ear, you could hear he's trying his very best to control his sobs.

"It's okay.. you're here now, right?" Kyungsoo gave you a weak smile. "What had happened? Why did I forget about you? Why did you disappear? Why are you doing this? Why did you come now? Why are you treating me like this? Why do you keep hurting me?"

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? Is that all you can say? You're sorry? We love each other! Why?! Why did you leave me? How dare you made me going through this bulls after what had happened before?! If you love me, why you leave me?!" You felt like you just wanted to scream at him. You fell down on your knees and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. "I love you.." You murmured.

D.O pulled you up and hold you by the shoulders. "I did that because I care so much about you, okay? For loving you, I have

to sacrifice for you. I can't bear seeing you dying . I can't hold it and it's me the only one who can stop your pain. I was your guardian angel. I'm sorry. I need to sacrifice myself just to make you happy. I'm sorry, I can't help you anymore. It's the last thing I can do. I love you so much and you know that I'll always love you and it will be forever, like infinity."

"You're leaving, right?" You looked straight into his eyes, you could see pain in it. He was silence. "I knew it." You sighed. "Why do I have to fall in love with somone whom I cannot be with? Why does it have to be our love? Why do we need to sacrifice our love?"

"I don't know, Youngie. Oppa don't know. Life is.. just so cruel, it's the same thing for love. You know, the thing about pain is it demands to be felt."

"Why don't you just let me die rather than having this pain just because of you? Why don't you just let the cancer hit me and kill me when it's the time? Why do you have to make it complicated?"

"Because.. I was your gurdian angel. My duty is to protect you. Guide you. Guard you. Take care of you. I am your guardian angel and because of that, I have to sacrifice everything just for you. Even my life. Listen to me, I did this because I know I need to do this. I love you and please don't make me like this."

"Oppa.. please stay."

"Youngie. Please..don't make me like this."

"I don't want you to leave."

"Come on, Youngie-ah. Please.. don't make oppa feel like this."

"I love you."

"I love you too, so much." He whispered and with that he wrapped his arms around your waist and pressed his lips against yours. The kiss continued for a moment and everything just went silent except for the sound of the kissing. "I wish that I could froze this time, right now, right at this moment and live in it forever."

"Me too."

The kiss continued again after that, and both of you just don't want to let it end.

Loving can hurt.

Loving can hurt sometimes.

But it's the only thing that make us feel alive.

-Ed Sheeran