"You're the one that I love

And I'm saying goodbye." 

MINHO POV

The hallway is empty. Empty, except for me. 

The hallway is silent. Silent, except for the tap of my heel against the tile. 

I close my eyes, and swallow, and I'm so alone. 

I called them, I called all of them, but they aren't here yet. I let out a long breath, and stare down at my hands, locked together. What can I tell them? That two of their best friends are hanging, just barely, onto life? That they might die? That I'm so scared, and I don't know what to do, and I've failed?

Why did this have to happen?

Hasn't Minwoo, hasn't Doojoon, been through enough? Haven't we all been through enough hurt for a lifetime?  

 I can't move. I'm just frozen, frozen in this seat. I let out another breath, and it shakes, but I don't move. All I can do is wait, and hope.

Finally, they start to come. Baekhyun comes in first, panting, frantic. Henry comes in soon after, accompanying Dongwoon, who looks so completely lost. Henry's face is etched with worry, but he's stays silent as he sits down next to me, and Dongwoon sits also, completely detached, and seeing him leaving a knife in my heart, but I just swallow and stare straight ahead. Baekhyun's standing, buzzing, terrified. 

"W-what happened," Henry finally asks, his voice quiet, his voice bleak. 

"They... they got in a car crash," I say, clench my jaw, and continue, answering his next question before its out of his mouth. "I don't know." 

Henry puts a hand on my shoulder, and no one says anything. 

Minutes later, Chanyeol runs in, his wet sneakers sliding on the tile. Yoseob is close behind, Taemin too, and Kikwang trails in, the last of the bunch. 

With the four comes an onset of questions, but I only press my fingers to my temple, and tells them, low, that they got into a car crash, that they are fighting. They are fighting, fighting for life. 

Why? 

They have so much to live for. Both of them, both of them have people they love, have people that care about them. Both of them have life stretching out in front of them, glorious and amazing and bittersweet and horrible and life all the same. 

They have things they want to do. T.K wanted to go to college. Doojoon wanted to find his place in the world. 

Why?

Baekhyun's still pacing, back and forth, the melted snow on his shoes squeaking. Chanyeol's standing, lifeless, limp. Henry's sitting there, eyes closed, head propped on his hand as if it became too heavy for his neck. Dongwoon and Yoseob are sitting in the cars, Dongwoon drawing on his hand with a pen, nervous and jittery, while Yoseob looks like he's blinking back tears. Kikwang crouching on the floor, head in his hands. Yoseob reaches out and rubs Kikwang's shoulder, eyes soft and vulnerable and shining in the weak light. Taemin, who was standing in shock, finally comes over and sits next to me, leaning his head on my shoulder. I shift, slightly, so he's at a better angle. 

"Minho?" Taemin murmurs, so soft. 

"Yeah?" I whisper, turning my head so that my question rustled his bangs. 

"Are they going to be okay?" I sometimes forget how young he is. I sometimes forget just how young all of us are. 

I close my eyes. When I speak, it's so quiet. "I hope so." 

Kangjun finally comes. He's frantic, wild, and I know that he must have been trying to get out of his house and across town since I had texted him. 

"Is he-" he chokes up, tries again. "Are they-" He can't finish his sentence, so all he does is look at him with those eyes, and all I can do is shrug. 

"I don't know." 

His face goes slack, and he thuds down into a chair. A long stretching silence. "That's better than gone," he says after a minute, voice dwindling to nothing. 

And we wait. 

Two hours after, the short day is starting to fade, but still we sit, and still we wait. The tension in the room has reached level where I don't think any of us could speak, through all of its clotting smoke. 

So when a nurse comes in, breaking the everlasting silence with the rustling of a person moving, we all look at her. An unspoken question hangs in the air, and it seems we are all holding a collective breath.

"Doojoon will be fine." Dongwoon lets out a sob, of relief. "He's suffered multiple wounds on his legs and his head and neck, but he's a fighter. He's sleeping now." 

Thank you. Oh, god, thank you. 

But she isn't finished. She's holding back, and she looks so sad. 

"What about T- what about Minwoo," Kangjun corrects himself, his voice low, his voice as if he already knows what's coming, and dreads when it'll finally be put into words.

She her lips. "I-I'm sorry. He... the injuries to his neck were too severe. He is awake, but... I think it would be best to say goodbye." 

Silence. 

Complete, utter silence. 

"No." It's Yoseob, whispering, disbelief. No, no, why. 

Why?

This isn't fair. This isn't right. 

No. 

Kangjun's the first to stand up. He's started to cry, and tears are dripping down his cheek, splattering the floor. But when he speaks, it's calm, it's steady, it's so sad. "Where is he." 

The nurse dips her head, and walks a few doors down the hallway to a door. "Here. Two at a time, please." 

 Kangjun turns back to us, and his voice is thick. "I'll go last." 

With nothing left to do, we only nod. But no one moves. No one moves, as if we stay here forever, T.K will live forever. As if we don't see him, as if we don't see him die, he won't. 

Finally, Henry bows his head, and tugs Dongwoon up with him. When Dongwoon only stares, Henry manages a smile that isn't happy, isn't happy at all. "Let's go," he says, and Dongwoon relents, letting the older lead him into the room. The door shuts with a click.

And, as if a spell has been broken, Baekhyun bursts into tears. 

"Oh my god." It's Yoseob, completely frozen. He closes his eyes, but the tears start to come anyway. "Oh my god." And then he turns to Kikwang, and buries his face in the other's chest. Kikwang, whose large eyes are bleak and tired and so hopeless, wraps his arms around Yoseob, and they stay locked. Locked.

And we watch, watch as every pair goes into the room, and comes out minutes later. Some crying, some stiff, some empty.

Just empty, empty. 

It was an unspoken agreement that I would go last, with Kangjun. So when the time finally came, after decades and decades, Kangjun, whose tears are still trickling, stands up, movements robotic and stiff, and leades the way. 

The walls are white, the floor is white. The whites are white. The numbers etched in the wood door are painted white. The world becomes blurry, but I blink away the tears as soon as they come. I need to be strong. 

I need to, in this moment, see T.K as clear as I can. 

The door clicks, and as if in a trance, as if we are in slow motion, we step into the room. 

KANGJUN POV

He's all I have. All I've ever had, all I've ever needed, all I've ever wanted. 

And now he's so close to gone. So close to gone, but he's so beautiful. His eyes are so beautiful, his hair, his everything.

He tries to smile, and it does, barely. His eyes focus on me, ad don't let go. Don't let go, I want to tell him, but I know that, now, it isn't up to him. He would fight until the end, and he has, but it comes to a point where nothing will work, not even the will of a god. 

"Hey," he says, and it's so barely there but he's so beautiful and real, and I love him so much.  

I try to smile through my tears, try to be happy, try to soak in these last moments of him. "Hey." 

He his lips, and his eyes close, and for a second, my heart plunges and my breath halts and my heart stops, but his eyes open again. "Thank you," he says. "Thank you, both... both of you. I couldn't have..." He's starting to fade, and no, no, no, no, no. "Asked for a better home." 

Minho brushes back the hair from his forehead. "Yeah," he whispers. "It wouldn't have been Blithe without you." He squeezes out a tear, and then draws away, and I sense that this is the time Minho is giving me, the time to say goodbye, to let go, and I don't want to, no, I can't, but I have to, I have to. 

I move as close as I can, over the bed, and I see T.K's glittering eyes, and I don't know if it's tears or if it's just T.K. 

"I... I love you," I whisper to him, my heart is tearing, it's ripping, and it's hurts, it hurts so much.

He tries a laugh, and he's fading, and no, I want to live out my life with him, I want him to live, I want him to live, and why, why, why, no, no, this isn't right and this isn't fair but this is life. And life is cruel and life is merciless and life is life and I don't know how to live my life without him in it. 

"I love... love you too." Our eyes lock, and this moment, it's so short, and I wish it was forever but it's just barely a second, and I don't want him to go, no, no.

And then something goes wrong and people are everywhere and I'm pushed out into the hall and there is a hurricane around me but I'm just still and all I can hear, over and over, is the sound, of Minwoo, Minwoo that is no more. 

And my heart turns to shreds and the tears rise unbidden and I feel boneless, and I would've fallen if not for Minho, but I can barely feel him, and he's gone, he's gone, and it hurts, it hurts so much.

Oh my god. What did I just do. 

Oh god I'm a horrible person. *hides* 

Im so sorry T.K....