DONGWOON POV

"C'mon, T.K, we have to bring back the dog!" I yelled up the stairs. I could hear the murmurs of faint conversation and clattering plates from upstairs, so everyone must be awake. 

"Okay!" I heard him yell back a couple seconds later, and he came clattering down the stairs, hooking a jacket as he passed by, and followed me as I carried the wriggling puppy to the car. Outside, it seemed like it was warming up, even though it was the middle of December; the cold will most certainly come back, and most likely stronger than ever. 

But right now, it was good to feel the slight warmth streaming from the sun, see the bright blue sky, be able to unlock the car without freezing off your fingers. T.K slid into the passenger seat and took the puppy from me, sitting him on his lap. The maknae's eyes were bright, his cheeks still red with cold, as he ran a hand down the dog's back, subconsciously smoothing and straightening the puppy's messy fur. 

I pulled out of Blithe and onto the main road. "Here," I tossed a post-it note at T.K. "The directions are on here, navigator." 

He took it, studied it, and managed to direct me to the highway in the opposite direction of where I usually went when I left Seoul. The opposite direction of anything, really. 

T.K thumbed through the CDs in the car as the flattened, deserted landscape flashed by, humming along to the radio. "Hey, hyung," he looked up at me, and I couldn't help but smile at his utterly suprised expression. 

"Yeah?" 

"Four more days until Christmas!" 

I had forgotten about that, actually, with all the drama lately. I just grinned at T.K, while I made a note to remember to buy presents. T.K would probably like an album, I mused. Of course, he has enough already, but one more wouldn't hurt. Maybe I should get him those free movie tickets, too. So he could take Kangjun. 

T.K caught my eye. "Whatcha gonna get me, hyung?" He asked, a teasing glint in his eyes. I sniffed and stared ahead at the road. 

"I was thinking maybe nothing," I said nonchalantly. "The love and caring of a hyung." T.K squinted at me. 

"Two weeks ago you threw raw eggs at me." 

"I thought you were Dongwoon," I muttered. 

T.K chuckled and leaned back in his seat, ignoring the snoring of the dog in his lap. "That's a great way of flirting, hyung." 

I huffed. "Just... be quiet and navigate." 

***

An hour and a half later, we pull up on this farmhouse, set in literally the middle of nowhere. T.K raised his eyebrows at the house, and turned to me. "Do you want to go in?" 

I blink. The house is a dusted white, the wood poorly painted, the patches of grass where the snow avoided was brown and wilting, the few tress surrounding the house like fingers, reaching at the sky, even as the sun shined brightly down. The place gave me the creeps, and I had no intention of getting out of this car. 

"No thank you." I give T.K a bright smile, and he pouts, but opens the car door anyway, herding the dog out before he steps into the snow-covered driveway. By the crunch the wheels triggered when I pulled in, it's probably gravel. 

I watch as T.K hesitantly walks up the steps, looks back at me, and when I gesture for him to get on with it, he sticks his tongue out at me and turns back to the door. A few seconds are spent searching for a doorbell, but when he doesn't find one, the maknae knocks on the door.

Just when I think we've got the wrong house, the door opens and a man steps out. I'm too far away to see clearly, and the sun's angle shades his face, but I feel like I've seen him before. I shake off the nagging sense, though, and figure it was just a resemblance to a stranger I saw on the streets. 

The dog is exchanged, and they talk for a while, and I watch from the car. Finally, the man nods, steps back, and vanishes back into the house. The door slams behind him, and I push away the chill that creeps up my spine. T.K lets out a burst of relieved breath once he's gotten back into the car and I've left the house behind. 

"That was awkward. And that dude was kind of creepy." I wince. 

"He looked creepy." 

T.K sighed. "Yeah, he was. Why would he live out here, anyway? There's no one around for miles."

"I really don't know. Maybe he likes to be alone or something." 

T.K considered that, then shrugged. "Maybe." 

***

A half an hour was spent mostly in comfortable silence. T.K hummed along with the radio, and I navigated the twisting street as the landscape switched from fields to thick forest. Here, the sunlight was barely able to get past the whitened branches, but every now and then, we passed through a band of light shining through. It wasn't even noon yet, so I estimated that we'd be able to get back one for lunch.

"You know, hyung," T.K started, his voice soft. "I've never really been anywhere but Korea." I looked over at him, and he was squinting at a CD from America I had gotten, trying to read the English printed there, and a fondness for the sweet T.K came over me. 

"I'll tell you what. Maybe in a year I'll bring you to America for a couple weeks. Everyone should go out of Asia once in their life, and there's no reason why not." He shoot up.

"Wait, really?" 

I grinned. "Yeah, sure. Maybe some others can come too." T.K smiled, big. 

"Thanks, hyung..." His voice trailed off as his eyes focused on something in front of him. I snapped my head around, and as we drove closer, I saw what had caught T.K's eye. It was a large board, maybe as tall and as wide as me, painted white. Red was splashed over it, in brutal marks and slashes that looked like English, but hateful and dark. I focused on it, becuase I could read it. Some of it, at least, and that was enough. We've come..., and you're still here. 

Dread caught in my throat, and I froze. I recognize that.

 I recognize that. 

I couldn't move. I cold only stare at that sign as it flew right on by. Suddenly, a desperate scream tore through the car. T.K. It was T.K. I glanced over at him, and he was curled in a ball, head wrapped in his hands. 

I wondered, for a split second, why he would do that. 

And then I was weightless. 

And then I was falling. 

And then I hit the ground.

And then fire blasted, with unbelievable heat, up my leg, at my hip, jumping to my head, jumping to my hand, jumping to my throat. I screamed, and was yanked forward. Everywhere. Everything was everywhere, and I was just another everything, and I was nothing. Nothing. 

Nothing. 

Fire. 

Oh, god, pain. Pain is everywhere. Everywhere. Pain is drowning my brain, swimming it with fatigued and fear and desperation, and will, human instinct, to live.

To fight.

To fight for my life, my future. 

To fight for me. 

I can't see. I can't see. But I can move. I can breath, even if my lungs are crushed like glass underfoot. Breathe. Breathe, Doojoon, breathe. Move. Move. 

Breathe. 

Live. 

Move. 

I somehow manage to find my phone. Colors are flashing, neon elbow and green and purple, and ice water has drowning my pain to freezing ice, encasing my skin, encasing my heat in coldness that will never melt.

I fumble, find the home button, and I'm gasping, gasping, in the flashing darkness, fighting, fighting for breath. Breathe.

Breathe.

Move. 

Live.

I  press the button, and I'm almost submerged in the pain, but I gasp and I breathe and I'm tossed by the waves and I can't swim but I'm still afloat. I'm still alive. 

I try to scramble, to push the parts of my brain back to where they belong, but I can't.

The colors go black. 

I'm typing by memory now, struggling to press the three numbers. 1-1-9.

1-1-9.

Breathe. 

Type.

Live. 

The colors, and the blackness, flash white, startling white. And then I'm plunged into darkness, and I lose myself in the waves.