Title: Everything Bright and Beautiful

Author: _PinkTape

Reviewer: PandaChels

Title:  (5/5) This title is simply perfect. It’s simple, yet original. Moreover, it gives an insight to the story, so congrats on this!

Foreword & Description: (8/10) The description was very well written and captivating. However, there are a few grammar issues. Such as:

1)      …fills his ears, so Kyungsoo sighs, closed his book and rests…

In this section, I bolded the verbs so you can see that they are in different tenses. Do you see how the flow isn’t right? It’s because you went from present tense (what he is doing at the moment) to past tense (what he did). It should be like this:

…fills his ears, so Kyungsoo sighs, closes his book and rests…

There are a few other small errors throughout the prologue, such as:

2)      Kyungsoo twist the small knob swiftly…

Is should say ‘twists’ since the next verb is ‘swings’. Yet, besides these, the description is good!

Grammar, Spelling, etc.: (10/15)

1)      Commas: There are instances when you used semi-colons where a comma would have been better suited. A good trick to learn is that very seldom will people actually need semi-colons in their writing. In the very first paragraph where you are describing Kyungsoo, you should be using commas instead. In addition, in many places throughout the story you forget to insert them.
Moreover, please remember that before certain words, such as ‘but’ and ‘so’, there should be a comma.

2)      Word Tense: Please remember that when you are talking about the past you must use past tense verbs such as, “voiced, quit, said, cried, etc.” When describing his past, you used some words in the present tense, which cause some interruption in the flow.

3)      Word Choice: When you said, “He stands out against the rest of the first year...” it should say, “He stood out amongst the rest of the first years…”

4)      Spelling: In the first sentence of Chapter Six the correct spelling is ‘eavesdrop’.

Plot Line: (18/20) I love the story, sweet and cute, but I do admit that some of it does seem rushed. This is mostly referring to the beginning because after the first chapter, it’s smooth sailing.

Plus, the story is so cute and very well thought through. Incorporating Kai’s letter as similar to one of the girls was creative.

Flow: (8/10) The story did flow well, although due to some of the grammar problems,  I did have to re-read a few lines, but it went well.

Originality: (8/10) Even though you, yourself, said that it might be a little cliché, I disagree. I think this story has different twists and turns that make it unique. I especially love how it’s a role reversal between the infamous KaiSoo ship.

Characters: (9/10) I like Kyungsoo and Kai, but I feel as though Kyungsoo shouldn’t be so emotional, although that could be a personal opinion. It’s just that with the role reversal, I would expect Kai to be more emotional.

Overall Enjoyment:  (10/10) I ship KaiSoo, but I don’t ever read it! I loved this. I’m not used to reading about them, so it was different from all of the other ships, not to mention the role reversal. Also, I love the story all together. I feel like there is a lot more for this story! ^-^

Bonuses: (10/10) You got me right in the feels! When I was reading the part where Kai mentions his past I literally looked like this ~~> (」゜ロ゜)」 Such a good story!

(86/100)

Note: On the first chapter, you forgot to capitalize ‘Chapter’.  I didn’t take off points, but you should fix it.

Also, please re-read your stories if you have the time and make a few correction! ^-^

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