Title: All in the Head

Author:  AddictiveStorm

Reviewer:  Leisty

Title:  (3/5) The title is pretty common for something in that genre. The reader will know instantly that it has something to do with the mental stability of the person.

Foreword & Description: (7/10) The description gave away most of the plot, but the mystery of what will happen is still there. It would trigger the reader’s curiosity.

Grammar, Spelling, etc.: (7/15) Refrain from using tildes (~) you seem to use it a lot, or at least not use it with any other punctuation marks together. Also the “I have met you before?” should be changed to “Have I met you before?” And I’m sorry because I couldn’t get this part where the doctor said if that the others are not real. The part where he was doubting his mental stability. Your grammar mistake could be fixed if you use MS Word or anything like it; typing it directly wouldn’t let you check the grammar. MS Word has those squiggly lines that indicate if your spelling or grammar is correct.

Plot Line: (16/20) The plot isn’t that unique but it would really make you read it because of curiosity. But the part where a friend would ask you to commit suicide doesn’t seem very realistic. Even if they were trying to prove to you something, a friend would never ask you to do something dangerous nor will they put you in a situation where your life is at stake. Unless of course they really aren’t your friends and that they secretly want you to end your life.

Flow: (10/10) The flow is very good; it doesn’t get all jumbled up. And I really have nothing to say about the plot anymore since it’s very direct to the point like how a one shot should be. And I really like the ending.

Originality: (8/10) Very original, but I’m sure there are other fics like this here as well. But you said in your foreword that you just dreamt of this, that’s just really amazing.

Characters: (9/10) The only flaw with the characterization is the doctor. There’s just something lacking; he doesn’t seem real. I’m surrounded with lots of people that work at the hospital, and there’s just really something lacking with the doctor.

Overall Enjoyment:  (8/10) 8 only because I want more; I wish it was a multi-chaptered fic where we get to know Kyungsoo’s struggle with each passing day he loses more and more of his remaining sanity.

Bonuses: (8/10) For not making it look like a unicorn vomiting rainbow and very easy on the eyes to read.

(76/100)

Note: Do work on the spacing and how you paragraph though. And also since this is something within the dark genres, be more descriptive; it’ll make the reader feel your character and make them seem more realistic.

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