Honesty and Wrath
A Chance to Change the PastA/N: Hi, all!
So thankfully, the area I'm in wasn't really affected by that super storm, so here's the next update, right on time as promised! (btw, to the Filipino Cassies reading this, how are you all? Are you all alright? Hope you weren't really affected by that storm so much)
There's not much drama here, but things get a little heated, so bear with me, it was hard and confusing for me to write T.T
Hope you enjoy it anyway :)
The boys all just glanced uneasily at each other, their eyes filled not only with pain, but also already with longing looks at the other members that had been separated from them in my time. I have a feeling they at least understood well enough what I meant when I said that losing each other would cause everything that they will gain in the future to mean just nothing for them.
I glanced at Yunho’s lap and saw that he was still holding Jaejoong’s hand. In fact, his grip was now even tighter than before. I knew that Yunho, for one, would do anything not lose again this time around. He would do anything not to lose his brothers and his love.
Maybe we can work this out, after all.
“Alright, I’ll make that call, then,” Yunho said quietly, but firmly.
He got out his phone again from his pocket, which was more difficult to do so this time, since it was on his left side and his left hand was still holding onto Jaejoong's. He had to maneuver it out with his right hand, but he managed somehow.
Yep, he’s definitely unwilling to let go this time around, I thought with a smile.
Yunho dialed a number, took a deep breath, and pressed ‘call’. Junsu winced immediately in automatic reaction.
The next ten minutes were some of the most awful minutes that I have ever experienced in my whole life.
Again, I couldn’t understand exactly what Yunho was saying into his phone, but I could only presume that he had said exactly the things I had told him to say because he hadn’t even completely finished speaking yet when we all heard their manager shouting back at him at the top of his lungs.
Yunho had to hold the phone away from his ear when their manager started ranting at him angrily.
If I had thought that he was shouting loudly before during their first phone call just some minutes ago, it was nothing to how loud the manager was right now. I can now clearly hear and make out what the manager was bellowing at Yunho, even if I couldn’t understand the language. I could tell it was nothing good, though, from the looks of the other four members who could both hear and actually understand what was being shouted at Yunho.
A few more minutes later and the manager was still not showing any signs of stopping. Yunho tried to get in a few words every so often, but he would always be cut off by the continuous tirade that their manager was unleashing on him.
“This is pointless,” I couldn’t help but mutter quietly as I stared helplessly at Yunho, who couldn’t do anything else but grimace at his phone.
“I agree,” Yoochun said loudly, and before we could do or say anything else, he rose up from his seat and walked over to Yunho and grabbed the phone from the leader’s hand. We all stared in shock as he just hung up on their still ranting manager without a word. He slammed the phone back into Yunho’s hand and marched right back to his seat.
“What the hell did you do that for?” Changmin demanded angrily when he got over his shock.
“What else were we supposed to do?” Yoochun shrugged nonchalantly. “Erin was right. The whole thing was completely pointless. Yunho hyung had already said what he meant to say anyway; what was the point of continuing the phone call when Yunho hyung couldn’t even get in another word anymore?”
“But to just hung up like that?!”
Yoochun just shrugged again.
Boy, he really didn’t seem to like their management, did he?
“Yoochun!” Junsu now protested squeakily. “You’re going to get Yunho hyung in trouble for that!”
Changmin’s eyes flashed dangerously at this. “Yunho hyung? He should be the one that gets into trouble, he was the one who hung up rudely,” the maknae snarled lowly, glaring at Yoochun.
“Yeah, but the manager doesn’t know that,” Junsu pointed out. “All he knew was that he was talking to Yunho hyung. How was he to know that Yoochun had grabbed the phone from him?”
At those words, Jaejoong punched Yoochun on the arm.
“Ow! What the hell was that for?” Yoochun cried, looking disbelievingly at his soulmate.
“For getting my Yunho into trouble, you idiot!” the eldest snapped.
“You’re all overreacting!” Yoochun groaned. “How do you all even know that he’s going to get in trouble for that?”
“Yoochun,” Yunho said disbelievingly, finally finding his voice again after his shock. “Manager hyung was already pissed when I said we couldn’t go to the meeting later and to the recording session this weekend! What makes you think that there won’t be hell to pay for when you rounded up the whole fiasco by hanging up on him?”
“There shouldn’t be any hell to pay for in the first place,” Yoochun replied darkly, glaring down at his still half-full plate.
Nobody said anything.
After a while, Yoochun stood up again.
At our questioning glances, he said abruptly, “Well, come on, what are you all waiting for? Erin said we should talk. So… let’s talk.”
And with that, he turned around and strutted towards the couches once again.
One by one, his other members slowly followed Yoochun. I, on the other hand, remained in my seat, lost in my thoughts once more.
I was starting to doubt myself again. While I still think that talking everything out first should be our next step, Yoochun’s recent outbursts made me more than a bit wary about how we’re going to deal about each member’s different sentiments about the issue.
“Are you coming or what?” Changmin’s voice snapped me out of my reverie.
He was the last person with me at the table, and he was already out of his chair and was just about to join the others in the living room.
Changmin raised an eyebrow when I just looked up at him but didn’t really reply.
I shook my head. “Coming,” I mumbled, getting out of my seat, too.
As I sat down on my usual armchair, I noticed that Yunho was still clutching his phone tightly in his fist.
“Are they all really like that?” I had to ask.
The boys shot me puzzled looks.
“Who’s really like what?” Jaejoong inquired.
“The people from SM… Are they all really like that?” I asked again, raising my eyebrow in gesture towards Yunho’s phone to point out what I meant.
“No,” Yunho said at once, though I couldn’t help but notice how the others also made to open their mouths to answer before their leader beat them to it. “Like what I told you the other night, the management might not be the best, but the other staff and the other idols in SM are mostly great.”
“Like what you told her the other night?” Jaejoong repeated questioningly, looking around Changmin to stare at his lover.
“Uh, yeah,” Yunho muttered quietly. “You know, when we both couldn’t sleep the other night… we… we might have talked about the company and the issue a bit…”
Yoochun and Changmin stared at Yunho, but Jaejoong and Junsu glanced in my direction, both of them knowing that I had done something similar with them as well.
Shoot, looks like it’s time for another confession.
“Erm, uh, yeah, oppas… I might talked separately with Jaejoong oppa, Junsu oppa, and Yunho oppa about how things are now with you guys and your company… you know, to get a feel on the situation so that I’d know how to proceed with my mission?” I admitted a bit sheepishly.
“But how come you didn’t talk with me?” Yoochun wondered. “Nor with Changmin neither?”
“Because I never really had the opportunity to be alone with you?” I replied honestly to Yoochun. “I had the chance when I went shopping with Jaejoong oppa, and I was roomed with Junsu oppa the other night, the same night when Yunho oppa and I both couldn’t sleep. As for Changmin… well, it’s kinda the same with you, Yoochun oppa, I never really had the chance to talk to him alone, and... and let’s face it, us being alone together doesn’t really end up well, does it?”
Changmin shot me a withering look, but his hyungs all grimaced in agreement with me, all of them clearly remembering how we had kept them awake in my first night when Yunho had all but locked us in the same room.
“Anyway…” I said, after yet another pause. “Can I say something first, oppas?”
The five boys all nodded at once, giving me their undivided attention.
“I… I know that the things you’ve found out about the future are hard to bear,” I began seriously. “But please, oppas, I’m begging you… it might be a little late for this already, but please, please, please, don’t let your knowledge of the future really affect your relationships with each other already?”
I looked at them pointedly, referring to how I had already seen the division between Homin and JYJ with them this morning and, even more so, the incident that happened with the Yunjae couple yesterday. And, sure enough, they all glanced uneasily at the members who will be on the other side in the future, and Jaejoong and Yunho also looked at each other, smiling sadly.
“Isn’t that a little too much to ask for?” Junsu said. “I mean, Erin, you can’t just expect us to act as though we don’t know that we’ll make different decisions, clashing decisions, and go separate ways in the future?”
And this is exactly why I had been hesitant and uncertain about telling them about their future in the first place.
I frowned at them for a long time, before finally replying curtly, “I know it’s a lot to ask for, but is it really too much?”
They all looked a bit taken aback by the sudden change in my tone again.
Heck, they should be. I am so not standing for this kind of .
“Believe me, oppas, if I only thought that I could actually pull off my mission without really needing you guys to know what I was doing and why I was doing it, I wouldn’t bother telling you the truth about your future, no matter how hard you guys would try to squeeze it out of me. Because of this exactly. It’s not just because I knew that you guys will be hurt and pained by the knowledge, but also because I thought you guys would start being weird with each other once you knew about it.”
I glared at them all a bit. “And apparently, I was right.”
I took a deep breath, before continuing on, “I know it’s hard, but please try to get past the tenseness and awkwardness that I’ve seen with you guys this morning. You’re already straining your relationships, when this is exactly what we’re trying to avoid in the first place! All your misunderstandings in the future that would lead you all to take separate paths, they don’t have to happen. Don’t let your separation in the future wholly dictate what you’re going to do now and how you’re going to be with each other. Especially when it doesn’t have to happen this time around now.”
“But it would have happened,” Yoochun said quietly. “At least, it would have happened for sure if you didn’t turn up…”
“But that’s the whole point!” I said exasperatedly. “I did turn up! So, what does that say about this whole mess? Don’t even think about starting to give me that ‘maybe it was meant to happen’ , because why else would fate have thrown me back into 2009, if not to change this?...”
They all just looked down somberly.
“Guys, like what I told Jaejoong oppa last night, the knowledge about your future is supposed to be something that’s of advantage to us now. We know what will happen, when it will happen, how it will happen, and why it will happen. With that knowledge, we can change things. Not easily, probably, but we still can. So, please, don’t let that knowledge eat you out and turn into something that will already cause the lines between you guys to start forming, alright?”
“You can’t just ask me and Yunho to act like we don’t know that they’ll be leaving us in the future,” Changmin muttered darkly.
His three hyungs frowned at him and I literally facepalmed myself again in frustration.
“Were you even listening to anything that I have said since I got here?” I demanded at Changmin. “First, I told you to drop that whole ‘they left us behind’ issue, didn’t I? It’s pointless to dwell on that thought, and it will only pull you into depression, if it hasn’t already! Second, I’m not asking you to just forget the fact that you’ll be separated in the future. All I’m asking is that you don’t hold your future decisions against each other already! I mean, alright, let’s say that someone was at fault for the whole mess. Can you really even blame and get mad at the person right now when they technically haven’t done anything yet? It hasn’t happened yet, it doesn’t have to happen now, so why harp about it, right?”
Finally, finally, they all started to nod slowly.
“So, we’ll stop with all this awkwardness with each other, yes?” I couldn’t help but ask for more confirmation.
They all let out mutters of agreement.
Well, that’s good enough for now, I suppose.
“Right,” I said, rubbing my hands together and taking command of this talk. “Now that that’s finally out of the way, can I ask you guys a favor for this talk?”
“A favor?” Jaejoong repeated blankly, raising an eyebrow. The others were also looking at me in a
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