Previous chapter:

Despite the recent events, the five boys managed to leave the neighborhood peacefully, while at the same time savoring the quiet of the streets below. Soon enough,  the boys were too far away to hear the desperate cries of Kai.

“Did you hear something just now?” Chanyeol asked. “I just felt a shiver run down my spine.”

Xiumin laughed.

"I didn't hear anything."

“Must be your imagination, Yeol.” Kyungsoo said with a grin.

“I concur.” Kris said with a wink. "I heard nothing at all."

"Hm. I guess it's just me then," Chanyeol shrugged.

"Probably," Tao smiled, throwing an arm around Chanyeol.

Before long, Kai was already buried in the back of their minds.

Chapter 14:

“Aishh! I almost got caught by Sehun and Baekhyun again...” Suho vented, kicking a rock on the sidewalk. “How could I have said something like that?!”

He let out a sigh and watched as a squirrel scrambled across the street.

“ I was lucky Baekhyun filled in for me before Sehun could notice anything...”

He continued to balance himself on the sidewalk curb, arms out on either side to keep him from falling as he step by step made his way forward. Suho froze though, almost losing balance, as he heard the unmistakable voice of someone he hadn’t wished to meet at the moment. He stopped in his tracks.

“Céngjīng de wǒ tàiguò zìsī zhǐ zhàogù wǒ zìjǐ         “The past me was too selfish, only caring about myself

Céngjīng de wǒ tài shǎ bù dǒngde nǐ de xīn~”                            “The past me was too foolish, to understand your heart~”

Turning to his left, he saw Kris across the street, singing as he walked down the sidewalk. His Apple earphones were plugged into his ears and hung loosely over his sweater, his iTouch tucked snug into the back of his jean pockets. His heart immediately dropped and as much as he told himself to stop staring at him, Suho couldn’t get his eyes to move off of Kris’s face. His vision moved down towards Kris’s collarbone, then Kris’s physique...He swore his condition wasn’t this bad before, but recently, he had been finding everything about Kris luxurious, and the change was killing him.

This wasn’t supposed to happen...Staying away from him was supposed to help me get rid of this feeling...get rid of everything I had left behind.

Suho swallowed down his sudden urge to touch him. He watched as Kris turned into his driveway and continued to sing that song Suho had composed along with the rest of Kris’s friends back in middle school, way before he had left their group. Suho’s left hand instinctively rose up into the air and softly caressed the air, carefully tracing the features of Kris as if he wanted to reach for him and touch him, but knew he couldn’t. The only thing keeping him from leaving his spot were his feet, seemingly glued down to the pavement, not willing to make a move. By the time he freed himself from the weight dragging him down, it was already too late. The door to Kris’s house slammed close and Suho could only watch as Kris disappeared from sight.

It was hard sometimes, having his childhood friend who he had once been close to and the childhood friend that he had unwillingly developed feelings for, live across the street from his house. It used to be convenient, really. He loved that Kris and him were so close to each other back then; the reason why they were so close was probably because of the fact that they lived right across the street from each other. Suho and Kris were inseparable in middle school and everyone knew they were a duo made from heaven. If Suho hadn't started to back away from Kris when they graduated middle school, they could have still remained the closest of friends. However, overwhelmed by feelings of confusion, love, and confliction, Suho had chosen to break off their friendship and stay away.

Suho bit his lip to prevent a tear from falling out of his eye. It didn't hurt to see Kris walk away from him instead of saying hi with one of his killer smiles. Suho spent days convincing himself it didn't hurt. It was getting harder and harder to say it never did though.

Every year, Suho had been convinced that he was immune to the emotion called pain. He watched as everyone else cried during dramatic separation, laughed to tears when they were brought back together. Suho believed that if he could avoid all of these extreme feelings, shut them out, he wouldn’t feel these wounds cut through him as deeply as they did in the past. If his emotional scar couldn’t heal, he might as well  try his best to prevent anything from reopening them again. After all, the only thing he had to do was get used to the heartache. It was this mantra, “It doesn’t hurt”, that ran through his mind every single day, 365 days a year, what kept him going for so long.

Unfortunately, it’s already been three years since he reached this conclusion. It was only until this last minute that Suho realized his efforts were put to waste. He had avoided Kris for the past three years and when he finally reached this last year of high school, the wall he had tried so hard to build and make stronger, collapsed easily with the blink of an eye. All of the guys he had been so close to at one point were leading high school lives he envied, ones he wished he was a part of.

Luhan had unexpectedly gathered the guts to confess to Sehun.

Chanyeol started to keep an eye out for Baekhyun.

Xiumin and Kris were as close as friends could get, if not going through a lovers quarrel everyday.

Tao had begun to speak a lot more than before, sticking to his hyungs like glue.

Everyone was changing...except for him.

People used to tell him that time would solve everything, and Suho was mad that they were wrong. It was only a matter of time before he would be forced to admit it. Suho could feel it coming and as much as he didn’t want to know the pain, he knew that there was a pain that hurt even more than anything, a pain that came hand in hand with confining one’s feelings for so long.

He knew for a fact, though, that when the time came, he might not be ready to accept it.

~*~

A/N: 

Sorry for the late update T^T Midterms and whatnot have been bombarding me right now and still are, but I promise a full-fledged chapter after the semester has ended! Just a side note, but this is just a short filler chapter that I thought would be interesting, to see Suho's side of things ;). Sending lots of of love to the support I've been receiving and welcome to all the new readers!! Wouldn't have made it without you guys ^-^