“Pilkyo-ah” He sighed, “It’s over… It’s over between us”

‘I knew this will come. But why now?’ Steve knew that this will definitely come one day, but he didn’t expect it to come this fast.

            Steve felt that Eric’s grip was tighter than ever. He didn’t know how to react; he doubted Eric’s love for him for the first time. ‘You’re my one and only love’ those words from Eric that always send chills down Steve’s spine. He believed that they will be together forever and those words are valid. But at this moment, he wondered.

“Kyo-ah…” Eric broke the silence. “I’m really sorry for this.” Steve tried to pull back but Eric forced their lips together. Not allowing Steve to move away.

“Eric Mun. Stop now.” Steve finally able to voice, his voice was firm and cold. “If you want to end this, then I want you to leave now.” Eric was startled. He slowly released Steve from his kiss.

            Steve pulled out of his embrace and pulled Eric out of his room to the main door. “Leave. I don’t want see or hear you ever again.” Eric tried to hug Steve, but the younger one was fast enough to avoid it.

“Kyo-ah. Please remember this. You’re my one and only love” Eric repeated those lines again, making Steve shiver. Then the older one went to grab his bag and left the house. This will be his last time seeing his lover.

            After Eric left, Steve lean his back on the door and cried. He cried all day long. He had no idea how long and how much tears he had cried. That will probably be the worst day of his life.

*Flashback Ends*

            Should I tell him I’m Steve?... Will I regret this? Hyesung questioned himself. He was the one who left me, he should be the one noticing that I was the one that he used to love. Furthermore, I changed myself so much so that I won’t remember this relationship anymore. And it has to comeback now, when I’m back in Korea wanting to start a new life.

            Hyesung wiped away his tears and promised himself not to have any feelings for that guy who dumped him. He calmed himself down and drove home after that.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

            Eric walked out of Minwoo’s café and walked over to the car park opposite to get his car. When he was at the car park only a few meters away from his car, he saw the guy that he saw just now. But he just walked straight to his car without any thoughts of what had happened to the guy. I don’t know him anyway, it will be weird if I just approach him like that.

            He was finally homed, after 20 minutes drive. He lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He was very tired after a long talk with Minwoo before going to his café just now, he needs to sleep, but the flashback that occurred didn’t allowed him to.

“What should I do? I’m starting to miss him.” Eric mumbled to himself, with his eyes forming a line and he prayed in his heart before saying, “If you can hear this pilkyo-ah, please show up in front of me.” He then got up and walked to his wardrobe, then unlocked a drawer and took of a very thick book and went back to his bed. He flipped to the newest page and started to scribble words onto it.

            ‘Kyo-ah. Where are you now? Are you doing well? I hope that you at the peak of your life and doing your best. From the day I left you till now, my heart is still with you, I wished you know this fact. I always tried to convince myself that it was a mistake to meet, like, love you and told myself that you are my last love. But in the end, it does not help a single bit, my heart still goes back to you. I need you here with me to end my agony, please, I need you. I wish and hope you remember my last words to you, you’re my one and only love. I love you, my love.’

            Eric finished writing and his eyes started to close. Also, tears started to drain from his eyes. “I love you…” Eric said before drifting off to his dream land.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

            Starting from that day, whenever Hyesung is free he went to Minwoo’s café to help out. He can’t avoid seeing Eric there as he visited the café almost every day. Moreover, Hyesung had promised Dongwan to help his boyfriend as long as he is free. This made Hyesung felt very hurt.

            He sees his ex almost every day, even though years past but Hyesung still can’t deny that Eric’s existence still drives him crazy. He knows that he needs to find a job quickly so that he wouldn’t be in pain every time he sees Eric.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

            And to Hyesung, everyday was the same except for a particular one.

            It was raining very heavily, both Eric and Hyesung hated one. For Eric, it was just something he hates since young. But for Hyesung, it was another story. Whenever it rains very heavily, it just reminds him of Eric. It was because how he and Eric started being together, Eric first went to his apartment in America, which is also when Eric first confessed his feelings.

*Flashback*

“Steve~” Eric called and walked towards the couch. “Your house is so beautifully decorated. Unlike mine, super boring.”

            Steve giggled, “Thank you Eric! Why is it boring? I thought a house is supposed to be full of joy, happiness and etc?”

“It’s a long story, I’ll tell you about it someday.” Eric promised and sat down at the side of the couch which is closer to the swing which Steve was sitting on.

*Sound of Thunder again*

            It made Steve jumped, he then hug his legs with his hugs and buried his face in them. Eric saw it from the corner of his eyes. He quickly got up to Steve and hugged him tightly. “Do you want to sit on the couch instead?” Steve was too scared to actually open his mouth to speak. When Eric didn’t get any reply from the younger one, he just held his hands and pulled him to the couch. “This will be easier for both of us isn’t it?” Eric stated.

            Series of thunder came and Eric tightens his embrace, knowing that Steve was really afraid of it, he patted his head and rubbed his hair. “Pilkyo-ah, please relax. I’m here, don’t be afraid.” This made Steve jumped once again. Did I hear wrongly? He called me by my birth name.

“Eric, what did you call me moments ago?” Hyesung pulled out of the stronger one’s embrace.

“Pilkyo? Is there something wrong?” Eric looked very confused.

“I don’t remember telling you my birth name, how did you know about it?”

“Oh-” Eric stumbled. “I heard it from Dongwan.”

“Stupid bastard.” The younger one cursed. Eric looked at him, taken aback.

“Opps!” Steve covered his mouth. “I’m sorry! It’s not you, I was referring to Dongwan.”

            Eric dropped his shoulder, “I thought you were referring to me.”

“No of course. Why will I be referring to you? You didn’t do anything wrong to me. In fact you helped me.” Steve snuggled into Eric’s shoulder and smiled. Eric could feel his smile against his thin shirt.

“Then you mean Dongwan did something wrong?”

“OF COURSE!” Steve sounded pretty agitated. “I told him not to say anything about my birth name to anyone and he told the person I lo-” He realized that he almost said the word out and the word which might cost their friendship.

“The person you what?” Eric questioned.

“Nothing” The younger one panicked, knowing that the opposite party might have figured out something.  “You heard wrongly Eric, I was saying my best friend.”

            Eric pulled back and hold Steve’s arm. He looked into the younger’s eye but he turned away and acted like he was looking at something interesting. “You’re lying.” Eric exposed Steve.

“No, I’m not” Steve’s voice trembled, it wasn’t obvious but Eric was close enough to hear it.

“Stop lying~” Eric said it with aegyo and pouted. He is so cute oh my… Steve’s heart skipped a beat when Eric did it.

“Trust me Eric, I’m not lying” Steve stood up and went to the kitchen “Don’t you trust your best friend?”

Eric, also, stood up and followed Steve to the kitchen.

“I do, but it was pretty obvious you were trying to cover something up just now”

Steve took a bottle of ice water from the chiller and gulped down ily. Eric just stood beside him and admired his iness.

“Jung Pilkyo.” Eric spoke, seriously. “Tell me. Please. Please finish your sentence.”

            The younger male jumped as his have not seen the serious side of Eric before and the mentioning of his birth name made him shivered.

“Well. This is what I wanted to say. The person I’m really close to.” Steve answered.  “Are you happy now, Eric?”

“Nope. It didn’t answer my question.” Eric pulled Steve to him and embraced him.

“You were trying to say this right?” Eric looked into Steve’s eyes. “The person I love.”

            Steve blushed and looked down at Eric’s chest.

“Don’t be shy pilgyo…” Eric used his right hand to lift Steve’s head up and caressed his face.

            They continued to stare at each other. Especially for Steve, Eric’s stared reminded him of how the couple first met each other.

“Steve.” Eric broke the silence; Steve looked straight into his eyes. “I love you”

            Steve was shocked; he didn’t expect Eric to actually confessed or even love him back.

“I-” Steve tried to speak but the older male’s lips were on his to cut him off.

Eric shushed the shorter one and whispered against his lips, “Enjoy this moment, please. Don’t care or think of another thing.” Soon after Eric finished his words, he kissed Steve.

            Steve didn’t mind about it in fact he loved it. He answered the kiss by moving his lips together with Eric’s. Eric let his tongue out and touched Steve’s lips, asking for entrance. At the same time, roaming his hand around the younger’s back, and even went into his shirt and caressed his . Steve parted his lips slightly and allowed Eric’s tongue to get in. It was hot. The taller one pushed Steve to the nearest wall while pushing his tongue into Steve’s cavern; it explored Steve’s mouth, making sure his tongue touched every part of it.

“Stop.” Steve said breathlessly. Eric notice that he was lacking of air at the point of time.

            Steve placed his arms around Eric’s neck and pulled him close until their lips were only millimetres apart.

“I love you too, Eric” and the younger one gave a peck on Eric’s lips, he was embarrassed, and his whole face was as red as a tomato.

“Let’s go to the living room now.” Eric ordered. “We have a lot to talk”

            Eric slid his fingers in between Steve’s and both of them headed to the couch they were on before and took a seat. Eric placed his arms around Pilkyo’s waist and pilkyo moved himself closer to Eric, placing his head on his lover’s chest.

“So…” Eric started the conversation. “When did you start to like me?”

“It’s a long story. Can I say it another time?” Steve said, taking Eric’s hand and entwining their fingers together.

“Wae?” Eric’s tone went down, wanting to show that he wants to know how did his lover started to love him.

“I’m really tired now. Please~” The younger guy sat up and look at Eric with his puppy eyes, and obviously Eric can’t resist it.

“Okay, promise me you will tell me another time.”

“I promise.”

            Steve lay on Eric’s chest once again with their hands still together. Eric place on Steve’s head and smelled his hair before saying, “Sleep well, I love you.” And he kissed Steve’s hair.

“I love you too.” Steve replied, his voice became softer.

“You’re my one and only love, my love.” The last sentence Steve heard from Eric before closing his eyes and drifting off to his dreamland.

*Flashback Ends*

            Hyesung shook his head. I should stop thinking about him. He doesn’t know I’m Steve anyway, and he will never know.

            The sound of his doorbell came and he went to the door to open it. Who will come at this timing?

“Syung-ah!” Dongwan greeted his best friend.

“Nice to see you!” Hyesung moved forward to give Dongwan a hug. “Why are you here so early?”

“Can’t I be here to see you?” Dongwan said while walking to his best friend’s living room.

“Of course you can! I will always welcome you here~” Hyesung winked at Dongwan while walking towards him.

            Dongwan saw his wink and he protested, “What’s with you recently? You weren’t like that in the past.”

“Like what you said, in the past.” Hyesung replied. “I’m not Steve anymore. I’m Shin Hye Sung.”

            Dongwan moved closer to Hyesung and grabbed his hand. “Although you say you are Shin Hye Sung, but in your heart you still have the memories of Steve. I believed those memories are the most precious one you can ever have.”

            No doubt Dongwan is still the one who knows Hyesung (or Steve) the best. They knew each other ever since they were a child.

            Hyesung’s head fell with Dongwan’s sentence. Dongwan noticed it and moved even closer to his friend. Tightening his grip.

“Dongwan-ah, I’ve been thinking about the past every time I see his face.” Hyesung rested on Dongwan’s shoulder. “Why am I the one suffering all the time? I’ve been dumped by him. He should be the one suffering! Not me…”

“Hyesung-ah” Dongwan wrapped his hand around his best friend and patted his back. “You will have to be strong. Remember the time you said you wanted to change?” Dongwan triggered Hyesung’s memories. “You really shocked me that time, remember? Think of those times; get the determination you had back.”

            In the midst of Dongwan’s sentence Hyesung already searching his memories for that day.

*Flashback*

            After the day Eric broke up with him, he stayed at home for almost 3 days. He just stayed at home and cried his heart out. Until, Dongwan came to find him.

“Steve!” Dongwan shouted from outside Steve’s apartment. “I know you are in there, open the door for me!”

            In the apartment, Steve heard it. He tried to walk to the door but failed. He was too weak. He didn’t eat much for the past few days. The things he had were just few cups of water.

            Dongwan had this feeling that his best friend is in the apartment but he can’t understand why he is not opening the door for him. He decided to use the last method. To get the extra key from the office at the ground level.

             The guy came back with the extra key in his hand and he unlocked the door. He walked in and looked around. Unfortunately, no sign of his best friend. He, then, closed the door and walked towards the master bedroom. When he wanted to turn to the direction of the bedroom, he saw Steve, trying to get up.

“Pilkyo!” Dongwan raced towards him and held him in his arms. “What happened to you?! Why are you like this?”

            When Dongwan lifted Steve’s face, he was shocked to see his beautiful face in tears.

“Wa..ter..” Steve tried to speak but he was too weak to even say a word.

“You need water? I’ll get it for you. Let me carry you to your bed first.” Dongwan carried Steve up in bridal style and proceeded to his bedroom.

            The muscular male came back to the bedroom and let Steve drink the warm water. “What happen?” Dongwan finally found the courage to ask him again.

“He left me.” Hyesung answered brutally, but soft at the same time.

“What?!” Dongwan startled. “So that explains why…”

‘Why’ Steve mouthed. And Dongwan saw it.

“He wasn’t in school for the past 3 days. So I thought your went on a vacation together. I tried to call your phone from yesterday till this morning. But no reply.” Dongwan was looking around the room, unable that that room was actually owned by his best friend who is always neat and tidy, and he spotted the guy’s phone at the corner of the room, beside the windows, smashed into pieces.

            Dongwan looked back at Steve and he mouthed ‘Hug’. Dongwan wasn’t sure of what his best friend was trying to mouth but based on his understanding of him it should meant what he was thinking. So, he moved forward and pulled the weaker one into his embrace.

“Continue.” Dongwan could finally hear Steve’s voice, the voice that he longed for the past three days.  His heart aches, to see his best friend like this.

“You never rejected or don’t answer my calls. Even if you missed it, you will definitely call back within an hour. If like what I guessed is correct, you went on a trip with him, I trust that you will answer my call like you always do when you went back to Korea. That moment I knew something was wrong. So I came.” Dongwan finished his sentence and he felt that his shirt near the shoulder were soaked. He pulled back and brought his hands to the beautiful face, wiping the tears off using his thumb.

“I will cook something for you to eat.” Dongwan let Steve rest on the headboard and he wanted to head to the kitchen to cook porridge for the younger one. A hand held on to the edge of his shirt and refused to let him go. “Don’t worry. I won’t leave you alone.” Dongwan gave Steve an assuring hug before walking to the kitchen.

Watching Dongwan leaving the room, Steve felt that his heart was emptied again. Like the moment Eric left him. He needs someone with him. His eyes formed a line before tears started to stream down his handsome face again. He stayed still, as if he was resting, in his mind he was actually replaying the scene.

“Your delicious food is here!” Dongwan spoke cheerfully. “Proudly presented by the famous chef, Kim Dong Wan!” With that sentence, a small smile was formed on Steve’s face.

            For the next hour, Dongwan was feeding Steve. Using every possible way to make the younger one swallow the food.

“I’m full already.” Steve voiced out. Steve can see that his friend was relieved to see that he is speaking.

“Alright. Have some rest first. I need to clean up your apartment for you.” He emphasized on the words. Steve just chuckled weakly as he watched the back of Dongwan disappear.

            I’m so lucky to have him as my friend. Steve thought. He is part of the reason why I’m still alive now. Maybe I should be strong and try my best to get over him. Steve was reflecting after three days of crying, realizing that he should move on instead of longing for a guy who just comes and goes whenever he like.

            Steve slide down and laid his head on the pillow. He closed his eyes and mumbled, “I loved you.” And he was finally asleep on his bed after a long time.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

           The next morning when Steve woke up, he felt alive again. “Dongwan-ah!” He called. But there was no reply. Don’t tell me…

            He stood up and walked out of his room. He realized he wasn’t wearing his uniform anymore, he’s in his pyjamas. Must be Dongwan.  When Steve walked to the living room there was no sign of his best friend. And he went to the kitchen. But a piece of paper stopped him.

            The skinny man took the piece of paper and read it out loud. “To Mister Jung. I know that you thought I left you alone right? You’re wrong! I went to school~ I made breakfast for you, hope it is still edible when you wake up. From, bepeu wannie” He finished reading the message and he moved his sight to his breakfast with a cover on it, on top of the cover a paper reads ‘Proudly presented by the famous chef Kim Dong Wan’

“This kid. Forever being this childish, but he is still my Dongwan.” Steve giggled. He opened the cover, there was a bowl of porridge which is still warm, a plate of scrambled eggs and lastly a cup of orange juice. “My favourite, orange juice!” Steve exclaimed after seeing his favourite drink. He gulped a mouthful of it before sitting down and ate a decent breakfast after days.

            After finishing his breakfast, he went to the bathroom and did whatever he needs to do before getting out of his apartment to shop.

            That day, he went to the optical shop to get contact lenses, cut his hair, then, shop for clothes. He wanted to change his style. He wants to change everything about himself, so that he can live a new life. After almost half a day of shopping, he went back home with many bags in his hand. Steve was really satisfied with the loots he got that day.

“Umma.” Steve called his mother to discuss about some issues.

“Oh! Pilkyo-ah! Why did you call?”

“I want to say that-” Steve hesitated for a while before continuing, “Eric broke up with me” His voice wasn’t filled with sorrow. It was firmed, cold. Unlike the usual him, who is always cheerful.

            The other side of the line kept quiet. Not knowing how to answer her son. “Oh… Then do you intend to continue to stay there?”

“Yes.” Steve was sure about his decision. “I want to continue my studies here.”

“I will respect your decision then.” His mother replied. “Is there anything else you need my help?”

Steve told his mother about what he intends to do, and of course his mother was supportive of her son. She agreed to help him with what he requested.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“JUNG PILKYO!” Dongwan shouted while rushing into the apartment. He saw a guy sitting on the couch but it doesn’t look like his best friend so he shouted again, “Where are you?”

“Can’t you see I’m right here Kim Dongwan.” Steve was pissed that his best friend wasn’t able to recognize him. 

“WHAT!” Dongwan was literally shocked. “Are you sure you are Steve Jung Pil Kyo?” He uttered his words carefully. Making sure that the man is his best friend.

“Yes.” The younger male stared into the man’s eyes. After a while Dongwan walked towards Steve.

“What happened to you?” Dongwan asked after confirming that handsome guy is actually Steve.

“I changed my style” Steve answered. “How is it?”

“Well, I’m not really used to it. But it suits you.” Dongwan smiled as he can see the efforts his friend put in to try to change himself.

“Steve-” Dongwan wanted to break news to Steve but he cut it off. “Stop calling me Steve.”

“Why? Isn’t your name Steve? Or you want me to call you Pilkyo instead?” Dongwan smirked and Steve smacked his arm. “Ouch!” Dongwan reacted after earning a beating from his friend.

“I decided to use another name.”

“What name?” Dongwan stared blankly at Steve. He never thought that the guy in front of him would actually think of using another name.

“Shin Hye Sung.” The guy answered. “Please call me Hyesung in school too.”

“Then what your classmates will think about you? There will be rumors flying all around which is all sorts of nonsense.”  Dongwan tried to stop Steve but he knew that it was impossible.

“It will be okay. I called my umma just now and requested for her to ring the school to inform about this change. This whole thing will be Steve left the school without any specific reasons and Hyesung will be a new student in the school.”

            Dongwan’s jaw dropped at his friend’s plan. “What in the world…”

“I hope you can help me.” Steve requested. “You’re the only one I trust now.”

            Dongwan closed his mouth and nodded. He remembered what he wanted to say just now before Steve cut him off just now.

“Stev-” Dongwan was cut off again. “It’s Hyesung”

“Fine. Hyesung, I wanted to say this to you just now.” Dongwan started.

“What is it?”

“It’s about him.” Hyesung looked up at Dongwan’s face.

“What about him? Anything happened when I was not around?” Hyesung still cared about him even though he wanted to forget him.

“I heard it from your classmate during the break just now. Your homeroom teacher announced that he left school to return back to Korea and continued his studies there.”

“Oh.” The short reply came from Hyesung.

“By the way, are you wearing contact lenses?” Dongwan finally asked, trying to change the topic at the same time, he had been very curious ever since he saw him earlier.

“Yeap. Cool right?” Hyesung tried to act cool but Dongwan just kicked his waist to stop him from doing it.

*Flashback Ends*

            Tears streamed down Hyesung’s face when he was think about the good old times. He really missed how Dongwan and he had fun together.

            Dongwan gave Hyesung a teddy bear hug and said, “ya! Don’t cry you fool!”

            Hyesung sat up and wiped his tears off.

“Syung-ah~ Whenever you want to cry, think of the times when you told me that you want to stay together with me and us moving into the new apartment okay?” Dongwan tried to find ways to cheer Hyesung up.

*Flashback*

            The two best friends were sitting on Hyesung’s couch watch the television program, they kept laughing and laughing until Hyesung suddenly thought of telling Dongwan something.

“Wannie, can I live with you?” Hyesung asked.

            Dongwan turned to look at his best friend. This guy really knows how to surprise me.

“Why so sudden?” Dongwan questioned instead of answering Hyesung’s question.

“I wanted to ask you this when I told you about my changing of name.”

“Oh. I don’t mind but whose apartment?”

“Obviously it’s yours! I don’t want to stay here.” Hyesung turned his head to the windows, enjoying the scenery outside.

“But my apartment is quite small.” Dongwan pouted.

“Then we can get another one.” Hyesung smiled.

“Really?!” Dongwan asked, and his friend answered  by nodding his head. “Assa! I’m finally going to move out of that apartment.” Dongwan jumped around and jumped onto Hyesung at last and hug him.

            Since Hyesung’s mother called the school about the change, the school suggested that Hyesung should take a week break before heading back to school with a new identity. So the two guys made use of Hyesung’s break to get a new apartment and move everything in before the week ended.

*Flashback Ends*

            Hyesung nodded and gave a hug to Dongwan.

“Should we go on a date?” Dongwan asked.

“I don’t think I can. I have to go to the café and help remember?”

“It’s okay. I will call minu and tell him about it.” Dongwan gave Hyesung the puppy eyes.

“Well, if that’s the case then I’m fine with it!”

            The couple, then, went out to a restaurant to grab have their breakfast.

“Dongwan!” A deep and manly voice called, both Hyesung and Dongwan turned to direction of the voice.

            But Hyesung turned back and followed the waiter who was serving immediately after realizing the owner of the voice was actually his ex. Hyesung sat down at the place where the waiter brought him to and stared blankly at the table.

“Sung-ah” Dongwan spoke while sitting down. “What are you thinking about?”

“It’s nothing.” Hyesung tried to lie but it was impossible since the person in front knew him so well.

“Don’t lie Hyesung. I know what you are thinking. Forget about it and let’s have fun together. It had been a long time since we last came out together.”

            A smile flashed on Hyesung face and he opened the menu to order what he wants to eat. But Dongwan was actually thinking about the conversation he had with Eric earlier. 

---------------------

Hello! I'm back with a new chapter! Hope you enjoy it. 

Hope this chapter will be fine even though i thought that there are some pretty weird parts ><

Please comment~ I really want to know how you want the story to go on~ ^^

And Shinhwa is having their goodbye stage this week ><  I will miss them! (Specifically their arm ~)

HAVE FUN READING!

From,

EmeryyL