“ERIC!” Hyesung shouted the moment the door was pushed opened.

            Hyesung saw Eric lying on the hospital bed; it was his first time seeing Eric like that too.

“What happened to you?” Hyesung kneeled down beside the bed and grabbed Eric’s hand, bringing it close to his face. “What happened…”

            Tears began to stream down Hyesung’s face slowly, his and Eric’s eyes met. They looked into each other’s eyes, trying to understand what the other one is trying to say.

            Minwoo and Dongwan were standing behind them, and they walked out with hands linked. Not wanting to disturb the two.

“Eric-ah..” Hyesung spoke, it was sweet to Eric. He moved his left hand to remove the oxygen mask that was cover his nose and mouth.

“Don’t…cry…” Eric mouthed and his hand slowly moved towards Hyesung’s face and wipe off the tears.

            Hyesung seemed to understand it and tried to stop himself from crying.

“I was luc…ky.. to meet you. I will never regret lov…ving you this much.” He used his strength to say the words out.

“I know..  Me too. Stop speaking, please, you are already very weak.” Hyesung pleaded.

“Please remem…ber. You’re my one and only love. I love you, Steve..Jung Pil Gyo.” Eric spoke with his last strength and his hand fell away from Hyesung, landing on the bed. His eyes closed and the last tear left his eye.

            Hyesung shook his head and screamed Eric’s name from the bottom of his heart.

            Minwoo and Dongwan heard it from outside and dashed in. They pulled Hyesung back as the doctor and nurses went in.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

            I heard the doctor announced his time of death.

            He then walk to us and apologized.

“Why did he die?” Minwoo asked. “It was still okay a few days ago.” The couple beside me can’t hold their tears too.

“I’m very sorry that I wasn’t able to tell you the condition of Mister Mun until now.  He specifically instructed us not to say anything about his condition to anyone.” I hear the doctor said.

“Can you tell us what happened now?” I spoke softly in between my sobs, I wasn’t able to control myself.

“Mister Mun was my patient since around a year ago. He was admitted into the hospital because he fainted in the streets. And I learnt from him, his condition. It was having a heart problem. It was with him since young but according to him, he only found out a few years ago when he was in America.”

           A nurse walked up to the doctor and passed his some letters. I couldn’t see clearly what it is or who was it for.

“The heart problem was always with him, the blood vessel that was transporting blood to his heart was already partially blocked when he was young. Mister Mun didn’t know and I doubt no one else knew about this. When he learnt about it, it was already too late. Moreover, I think it was months ago, when I asked him whether he wants to have an operation to have one more vessel connected to his heart, he rejected it. He said he just wants to live his fate as it is.”

            The doctor paused and looked at me, “I guess you are Steve right? Mister Mun always talks about how much his love you. And these are the letters he left with the nurse and he instructed us to pass to the respective people who are addressed on the letters. I’m sorry for your loss.”

            Dongwan took the letters from him and thanked him.

            I couldn’t stop crying, it was too painful. My heart is hurting so much.

            My brain wants me to stop crying but my body just can’t react according. I knelt on the floor. With tears still flowing down endlessly. I can’t think.

I need Eric. I need Eric Mun. I regretted not showing him how much I love him when I can. Now, I can’t. It’s the end. But the memories came back like a film. Flashing pass my eyes, taking my senses away, bring me back to the past.

“Hyesung-ah.” Dongwan wrapped his  hands around my weak figure and pulled me close to him.

“Dongwan-ah. I hate myself so much. I didn’t even tell him I love him before he left us. Why…” I  buried my face into his shoulder, I don’t have the face to see anyone. I was ashamed of myself.

“Hyesung, be strong. Show him that you still can be strong without him. If not he wouldn’t be able to let go.”

“I can’t. I need him. I need him with him.” I pulled myself back and looked at the floor.

            I heard Jun Jin walking into the room and cried softly.

            I decided to get out of this room. I cannot stay here any longer. I can’t face anyone. I slipped my hands into Dongwan’s pocket and took his car keys. Then I dragged myself out of the room and walked and walked. I hear someone calling my name from behind, but I didn’t care I just continued my path.

            I took the elevator to the basement where the car park was. I sat in the driver’s seat of Dongwan’s car.  I drove out of the place. I have no destination in mind, I just turn whenever I felt like it.

            I had no idea how long I drove. I came to realize that I came to a place that I knew. It was Eric’s place. Although I haven’t been to his place many times, but my body was able to bring me here. I parked the car and went up to his apartment with my puffy eyes which were still unable to stop the tears.

            Here I am, in front of Eric’s apartment. The lock was in front of me, my hands unknowingly when it and pressed 4 numbers. And the door was unlocked. I was shocked, it was my birthday, 1127.

            I stepped into the place and looked around, I felt Eric’s presence around me, and I felt him with me. The place was similar to the place we used to share when we were in America. I don’t know why but I felt that I had been in this place for a lot of time.

            My legs took me around the house and I saw frames with pictures of me and him. The pictures we took when we were together in America. Also the ones we took when we were together a year ago. It was all beautiful memories that I always kept in the bottom of my heart. Secretly I did want to have more of them, but it was already impossible.

            Then I walked into his bedroom. Memories of me and him lying side by side on the bed came back. How we woke up together and snuggled closely. We will spend hours on bed just by talking and argue nonsensically. I missed those times, really.

            I saw a stack of papers on the coffee table in his room. I went to it and picked them up. It was blank on the first and second and third. I flipped and until the last page, I saw writings on them.

It read:

To my lovely Steve or Hyesungie,

            When you are reading this page, it meant that our love is already ending. This is the last lap of our love. I really love the times when we are together, making beautiful memories. I will always have them in my heart and I swear I will never ever forget them till the day I die. Even if I die I will keep them with me so that I can still remember you. Remember the days when we were in America? How we first met, and how I confessed my love to you? How we walked home together every day after school? And I love the time when you will show me you lovely smile every moment when we are together. I can’t help to hate myself when I chose to listen to my parents and leave you alone in that house. I’m sorry.

When I went back there, coincidentally the place I’m going to live in was our place. I live the three years thinking of all the memories we had. Every single day. I began the journey of search for my love, Steve. I did everything I can to find you, but you left no traces in America since I left. The crazy period I had in America was when I found out that I had heart problems and it was since I was young. I swear to myself before I die I must tell you I love you once again. And until the last few days of my days in America I came to realize that Shin Hyesung was actually Steve Jung. What in the world. I came back and found out that you were with my step brother, Jun Jin.

It was painful, but I endured it, because I thought that it was my punishment for leaving you. Next moment, I was with you again.  We made even more memories together. But of course, I didn’t expect much and truly, my dad found out about us and we broke up again. I never hate myself so much. I was really sorry that I left you alone again.

When I knew that you were going to marry Jinnie, I couldn’t stop myself from getting upset. So I decided to send you that book which was only half-filled. That is the starting of you happiness and this page will only be the extra potion in your life. Tear it away, so that you can forget me.  Forget all the memories we made and be happy with Jinnie. I will never forget anything about us, our love. I fell too deeply for you that I can bring myself to forget you. I love you, my one and only love.

                                                                                                                        Eric Mun

By the time I finished reading, tears wet my face again. I told myself. No, I will never forget the memories I had with you, my one and only love.

I only realize now that my heart can only hold one person and that person will always be Eric Mun. No other. But why did I only realize it now?

I saw two other books on the table. The bigger one was titled “Forever and Ever” and the smaller one “A Mistake from the Start”. I picked up the bigger one and flipped it open.

My mouth dropped when I saw pictures of me and Eric together when we first met. Flipping to the next few pages I found pictures of me that he took secretly. There were also photos of me during the gathering we had with our brothers.

“You… made a scrapbook…” I mumbled when I closed the book and hugged it.

            The smaller book, is this your diary? I wondered and opened it. The first page was filled with only one sentence. ‘It was a mistake from the start to love you’.

            Are you referring to me? I continued to turn the pages and they were all filled with your handwriting. It was all about me. Steve Jung. No other names. It was dedicated to me.

            I really hate myself now. Why didn’t I love you when you were still alive? Why did I only realize it when you already left me. I need to tell you, Eric Mun, I love you.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

*A few days later*

“Hyesung-ah.” Dongwan went to Hyesung and passed him a letter. “This letter is from Eric.”

“Thanks.” Hyesung spoke weakly.

            It was all over, Eric’s funeral. Many people came, to send Eric off for the last time. Jun Jin was always by Hyesung side. And he hasn’t had the chance of telling Jinnie that he loves Eric.

            Hyesung pulled Jinnie out to a corner and said, “Jinnie, I have something to tell you.”

“I know, you don’t have to say it. Minwoo and Dongwan already told me everything.”

“Oh.” Hyesung replied when he knew that the couple already helped him to say what he wanted to say. “I’m leaving Korea for a while.”

“I understand.” JunJin patted Hyesung’s shoulder and walked away.

            Hyesung leaned against the wall, wanting to cry again but he know that now that Eric is gone, he have to be strong. Always.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

            I dragged my luggage out to the living room and I remembered the letter that Dongwan passed to him yesterday.

            I was too tired to read it after crying for hours.

            I tore open the seal and pulled out a sky blue colored paper. I unfold it and it was Eric’s handwriting.

To: Steve

            Pilgyo ah. When you are reading this letter, I had already left you. I know that you will be sad, but don’t. Please, this will be my last request to you. Our love has always been a roller coaster, but this ride was worth it to me. At least I found out what was worth it before I leave. I know that this will be hard for you to accept, but live on. Keep my love for you in the bottom of your heart and move on. Don’t be sad of anything, be happy. You’re my one and only love.

                                                                                                                                    Eric

            I pulled out a necklace with a ring hanging with it, in the inner side of the ring I found the writing of ‘Forever my love, E’  on it. I put the necklace on and starting to write on another piece of paper

My dear Eric,

            I am not sure whether you will see this but still I’m going to write it and this is my first time. From the time we met till now, I didn’t regret anything. It was a wonderful time with you. And you gave me the courage to live, my dear. I know that it will be hard without you but I will try my best to live, even if it is for you. I will. I’m sorry that I didn’t manage to show or tell you how much I love you when you were still alive. It was a regret, a very big one. Now that I’m alone I learnt that how important you are to me. When I realize it, it was already too late. If time can be turn back, I wouldn’t change anything because this is yours, mine, our fate. But I will add one more thing in. I will say ‘I will love you forever Eric Mun’ before your eyes close and leave me. I love you.     

                                                                                                                        Steve

When I finished writing, I slipped it into an envelope and place it on the table. Then I took my luggage and walked out of my apartment.

            I’m leaving this place for a while, but I will be back. I am going to the place where I can get all my memories with Eric back. So that I will buried that in the bottom of heart, remembering him forever.

            When I exited my apartment and looked at the sky out of the window panel I said,

“I love you Eric Mun. It was never a mistake to love you. I will never regret anything with you. And I am coming for you” while holding on to the necklace that was on my neck, and I brought it to my lips and kissed it.

[THE END]

5 May 2013 – 18 October 2013

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Finally, the end. It had been a wonderful time writing for all my readers. I'm sorry if the ending is crappy >< I hope you understand it yea.

Over the 5 months I have 59 subscribers, I thank all of you yea ^^  and all the commenter and silent readers! (:

 Thank you for spending your time to read this fanfic.

I started this fanfic during my exam period out of curiosity and I didn’t expect anything like this. At the end of the day what made my day were all your comments although not all comment. So for the very last time, I would ask for your comments shamelessly about this story. ><

I know I’m lacking a lot but I thank all of you for support me :D I promise I will write better next time if I have the chance! *90 degree bow~*

Thank you~~~ And I love all of you!~~ Bye Bye~ *waves XP*

EmeryyJLinn

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