Another minute just passed. Another moment wasted and withered into nonexistence dust. Seconds are ticking away. The more it gone the more suffocate she feels. Sounds of her own watch is driving her on the edge.

She closes her eyes, trying to avert her attention away from the unwanted sound that keeps haunting her. Tick tock tick tock. It was sickening the more she tried to ignore the more apparent, the more obvious the dreaded sound becomes.

Her fingers clawed the cold bench where she was seated. Her neck is protected by the warmth of her scarf, however coldness still stinging her down. It cannot be the autumn breeze. She knows that it wasn’t the case at all. She would say it was paranoia.

A paranoia of losing something – someone, in a very slow motion. Slipping away teasingly between her own fingers. Like the stupid ticking sound. Just a mere second, but surely enough the time would come when a minute would just gone, an hour seems like just a second ago. Day, week, year, and decade will passing like a pedestrian on the street.

Her fist tightened. No, she doesn’t want that. She wants time just stopped right there. But it’s inevitable unless all those science fictions were true. Or maybe she wants more, like those years, those beautiful time when rainbow is every day and sun shines even in the darkest days.

Leaning back, she opens her eyes. She looks up at the sky which is bright and obviously mocking her mood. Teasing her that today she will lost all those time. Simply being washed by the waves.

It wasn’t her fault. Or his fault. Hell, she cannot even blame the third party. It was written by the universe and she’s afraid she was at lost. She cannot gain what she wants, she cannot keep what belongs to her. It was bad, she knows from the start that loving her own best friend would result to nothing but sadness.

The world knows Lee Chanmi is in love with Byun Baekhyun – the one who set his heart somewhere else.

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“Happy birthday!”

It was like what it is for years. Shoving a cake in front of Baekhyun’s nose, playing around with the frosting before nagging at the boy later on. But that wasn’t what Chanmi always love when it’s the boy’s birthday. Not the cake neither is the celebration.

Patting her head slowly, Baekhyun gave her a smile. “Thank you” he will say and Chanmi would always smile afterwards. Playing it like a dance. However this time was different. It’s more… she cannot makes up the right word even years had passed.

Baekhyun just smiles but warm feeling envelopes her. At first Chanmi would try to ignore the nagging feeling, but now she was sure. Whatever it is, she was truly like her best friend. Beyond that smiles and the kindness he shown from time to time.

She decided that she will keep it that way. It was less troublesome and more innocent that way. Chanmi would call herself a coward, but was it so wrong for her just to be like this? Be on Byun Baekhyun’s side and never leave?

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They always together even when they can only babble incoherent words. When adults are barely understanding them. Either way, no matter what’s the situation they will always know each other wishes. Even if it was something they live with, sometimes Chanmi could still found herself in a surprise.

“Here” Chanmi eyed the shopping bag Baekhyun just literally shoved in front of her face. No wonder the boy could feel the glint of slight cynic in her eyes. He half grinned, “Relax, I know you hate those dress thingy so I brought some change for you”

It was true what he says, and Chanmi could only smiles when she pulled out a pair of jeans and couple of her t-shirts. She thanked Baekhyun who just laughed.

“Well, you’re the only one who looks good in jeans aside of her”

She flinched yet the other doesn’t really realized that. “Is that so?” Chanmi responded rather forced. Her smile is awkward and it would giving away her feelings if Baekhyun looked. But the latter is still flustered to notice. She would laugh at the sight, but she doesn’t find the usual urge to tease inside of her. In the actuality her entire being is cold despite the heaters in the room.

Chanmi would lie if her next words doesn’t stabbed her inside too. “When will you confess to her?” As Baekhyun’s face noticeably went redder, the sounds of the wall clock ticking one by one echoed in her head. Just like that, like a time bomb giving away the wasted second ready to blast off.

“I don’t know…” the boy answered shyly.

Another second passed but maybe it would be better if Lee Chanmi knows exactly when. So then she could find a shelter, that she could brace herself and endure it so she won’t be breaking into bit of nothingness.

One year had passed, brought her today in the fine summer morning. Despite the sunny feelings, she shrivels in this bench. Sounds of clock ticking, sounds of the time moving on, haunting the every piece of her being.

Byun Baekhyun surely takes his time. If not, why would he confess to a single girl almost an hour? Chanmi then wouldn’t be so surprised if the boy forgets about her. Maybe there will be a text to her saying he’s off first with his girlfriend.

Her fingers grazed the wooden surface. The girl’s eyes glued at her own feet. Suddenly being eat whole by the ground sounds so good rather than being here, shriveled into nothing because time is running out for her to be with him. And maybe that’s why suddenly darkness came to her, clouding her although she was sure the sun is still beaming right throughout the day.

“Yah, people will mistook you for a broken hearted woman if you acted that way” a voice, a very awfully familiar voice said to her. However Chanmi believes that voice shouldn’t be here. He wasn’t supposed to be here. But nonetheless when she looked up, Baekhyun smiles at her.

But she knows him. She recognized the tinge of disappointment in his eyes. “What happened?” she slowly asked him.

“Rejected” he shrugged before babbling things.

However that was the least of her concern. Suddenly her hearing becomes clear, without a sickening ticking sound interfering. All she see and hear is Baekhyun in front of her.

She knows it was a normal thing for someone to say something out of attempt to comfort others – especially a best friend at that – in this kind of situation. However all she did is dragging the confused Byun Baekhyun, loudly claimed she wants some ice cream and the boy would love it too.

Baekhyun’s laugh chimes and Chanmi smiles. “Baekhyun-ah, I like you” her words brought confusion on the boy’s face and pink tinge started to form on her cheeks as her grip on Baekhyun’s tightened. She’s going to brushed it off now or maybe forever. Because the world give her more time and there’s no way she’s going to waste it now or ever.

~~//~~

I'm listening to INFINITE Woohyun's Time when I wrote this, but the story is not based on that (maybe slightly ._.) Sorry for the long delay because apparently my definition of holiday is different with my family's. What am I blabbering about. And why there's ice cream again? Maybe because of the weather in my place...

I hope this angst part goes well and not too subtle or too apparent. Thank you for reading and comments/feedbacks are loved~

Sincerely, RedPenguin