Donghae's POV

The sound she made as she began to wake up brought everything in the room to a standstill. 

She was waking up. 

I jolted forward in my chair, pulling her hand into mine. I'd be damned if I wasn't going to be the first person she saw when she opened her eyes. I didn't even really want anyone else in here, but I wasn't about to order them all away. I wasn't that selfish. 

The excitement and relief I felt at the thought of knowing she was okay was heavily shadowed by the anger and sadness that she hadn't told me. How could she not? I was her mate. And worse of all, he knew. She'd told him, yet not me. I couldn't understand why. 

But there was still no way I could be angry at her. No matter how hard I'd tried to summon the anger to make her feel guilty, I just couldn't do it. I kept imagining seeing hurt on her face that I'd caused and just the very idea of being angry with her was washed away. 

I kept running through the words I wanted to say to her when she woke up, but I just couldn't focus on mine. I forgot everything that had happened because my mate was here, safe. I pulled her to me defensively, holding her body tight against mine as I planted kisses into her hair. 

And then, clearing the anger away once and for all, she spoke. 

"I'm sorry, Donghae. I'm so sorry." 

Jessica's POV

Trying to explain to an upset mate about why I lied was the hardest thing in the world. It felt like I was speaking Arabic. Everything I said was just countered with a "Why?" And I didn't have an answer to that; at least not one Donghae could get his head around. It all came down to pride and strength. I was the daughter of a beta, niece of an alpha, and it had been drummed into my head from my first seconds of life that I was strong; stronger than the other wolves. Hearing your life has been cut short by a disease you can do nothing about does not help self confidence when it comes to strength. I've never had to rely on others, and I didn't want to have to now. I didn't want him to see me as weak. 

But he couldn't understand why I would think that. I was glad he wasn't angry with me; I was half expecting him to not be there when I woke up. 

"How much did the doctor tell you?" I asked quietly. 

"A lot," he mumbled as he reached out to take my hand. "That they've tried most of the treatments." 

"They've tried every treatment, Donghae, and none of them have worked. You know that means," I said harshly. 

"Actually, you know that's not true," Kris said, as the door swung closed behind him. Donghae's hand tightened on mine. 

"Kris..." I warned. 

"What does that mean exactly?" Donghae asked, not sparing Kris a glance but keeping his eyes firmly on mine. 

"None of these doctors have given Jessica 'a date' as such." 

"It doesn't matter. They've said enough," I argued. 

"But they've never said the words 'you're going to die'," Kris said, frowning at me. He sat down on the bottom of my bed, pushing my legs out of the way. 

"And they haven't told me I'm getting better. The disease is progressing and you know that!" I said, scowling at him. Donghae sighed and kissed my fingertips. 

"Maybe we should get a doctor in here and find out where we...you...stand exactly," he said quietly. 

"We," I mumbled, squeezing his hand. 

"Let's," Kris said as he rose from the bed and walked away. He turned back again almost instantly, just as Donghae was about to say something. The doctor obviously already been on his way to see me. 

"Jessica," he greeted as he flicked through my medical reports. "How are you feeling today? Any tightness when you breathe?" 

"No," I answered quietly. 

"Okay, good. I'm just going to have a listen of your heartbeat," he said as Donghae stood and moved away from me and the doctor got on with his checks. When he was finished, he asked me if I had any questions. 

"Actually, well... We were all just wondering, and doctor, please be honest. I, I know I'm going to die, I...we want to know when...How soon?" I asked quietly, stumbling over every word and trying to hold the tears back as I glanced at Donghae's pained face. The doctor pursed his lips. 

"Well, yes, Jessica, you're going to die," the doctor said morosely. Donghae in a sharp breath, "Someday, as we all are, but perhaps not from this very disease," he finished. I was silent for a moment as I registered what he said and my first thought was how Kris was going to rip me for being wrong. 

"Wait, what?!" Donghae yelled, pushing him aside so they were face-to-face. "But..."

"I'm not giving any guarantees Mr Lee. And yes, Jessica's condition is progressing, but we haven't quite exasperated every treatment option." 

"You mean I still might have a chance of being cured?" I asked in disbelief. 

"Perhaps," he said. 

"Well how?!" Donghae asked desperately, looking ready to hit something or someone. 

"A transplant of the lung." There was a moment of silence after he said it as we all digested the idea of it. A transplant. I wasn't stupid, I knew that operation would be risky, and the fact that my lungs were already weak, was even worse. That could kill me even sooner. 

"So do it," Donghae said suddenly. I turned to him sharply and he glanced back at me. "If there's a chance, right?" 

"Well, it's not that simple Mr Lee," the doctor said warily. "You see, there's still a chance that proliferation of the damaged muscle cells could occur again, meaning the transplant would have been useless. There are also many risks associated with the surgery itself, she might not make it," he said quietly, glancing over to me. 

I sighed as Donghae caught my eyes, his face was almost pleading. 

"Doctor, why haven't I heard about this treatment before?" I asked, desperate to find out as such as possible before I said anything. 

"Well actually, you're not quite eligible for the surgery yet." 

"Well, how does she become eligible?" Donghae asked. 

"We can only offer a transplant at what we call stage 4 of the disease. Jessica is currently only at stage 2." 

"So you're saying she has to get more ill before you can treat her?!" Donghae burst out angrily. 

"I'm afraid so. Transplants are expensive and there's a long waiting list. We can really only offer them to the people who need them most," the doctor explained. 

"Surely I will be too weak then to survive the surgery?" I asked incredously. 

"At stage 4, some sufferers of the disease still have months to live, even without treatment." 

"So let's just say I decided not to get the transplant," I said, quickly continuing before Donghae could argue. "How long would you say I'd have left to live?" 

"At the rate you're progressing, 12 months at the most."


Another silence fell across the room. 

1 year. 

One measly year, that was it. That was all the time I was allowed to spend with my mate. 

"I've given you a lot to think about today. This is a serious option that doesn't always have the best success rate. I hope you'll both think strongly about it," the doctor said kindly before jotting down some final notes, sending me a warm smile, and leaving the room. At some point during the visit, Kris had also left the room. Donghae and I were alone once again. I turned back to him and he fell at my side. 

"You have to do it Jessica," he pleaded as his hands grabbed for mine. "And if you didn't make it through..." he added quietly, "then we'd know it wasn't meant to be." 

"A year, Donghae... He gave me a date," I whispered as warm tears pooled in my eyes. Donghae lifted himself to my side and curled my body into his. 

"A year of memories with you will be enough forever, Jessica."