“Yah! Wake up. Yah!” a voice called shaking me violently. Who the hell had the audacity to do that? Ugh.

“Let me sleep.” I groaned pulling the sheet over my head. Ugh. Who was this annoying person and what was this person doing in my room.

“Yah!” The voice said annoyed again and then my sheet was ripped off of me leaving me exposed to the harsh cold world. I pried my eyes open to glare at the person. Of course it was Kimmy.

“What are you doing in my room?” I groaned rolling over to bury my face in my pillow. Why did it feel like someone was starting up a jackhammer in my head?

“Your room?” She said scoffing and I frowned into my pillow. “Missy you’re at my apartment.”

Huh? Her apartment? I turned over to stare at her in confusion. What was I......Oh...Right. Last night I had come over to her place and ended up staying. That explained why my head was feeling as if someone was doing some serious construction work in it. I sat up with a groan, grabbing my head as I clamped my eyes shut quickly. The sudden exposure to light was only making my hangover worse.

“Remind me again why I let you talk me into finishing two bottles of wine?” I groaned massaging my forehead.

“Because you were depressed and I’m an awesome best friend had the necessities to fix it.” She said and I shot a glare at her to find she had a glass in her hand. “What’s that?”

“Oh, I made this for you.” She said extending the glass towards me which I took with extreme suspicion. “It’s a lime and salt with water solution not poison. Stop looking at it like that.” She rolled her eyes at me as I sniffed the contents and then wrinkled my nose.

“Ugh...” was all I could say after I had downed it in one go.

“You know what they say. It’s the bitter things in life that makes you stronger.” She chirped and I glared at her.

“Why are you so chirpy this morning?” I asked frowning as I dragged my body off of the sofa where I had apparently crashed.

“Ricky is coming over this afternoon. And it’s mid-day by the way.” She said as she bounced out of the room leaving me feeling much more awake.

“Mid-day?” I asked the thin air in shock. I looked around and my eyes fell on her clock. Oh my God! It really was that late! “Yah! Kimmy why didn’t you wake me up earlier!!!!???”

She peered around the corner of the doorway to find me throwing pillows and sheets and cushion everywhere. “What are you doing?!” She asked staring at me as if I had gone mad.

“Phone. Where’s my phone?” I asked half-crazed. Had Jonghyun called? What had happened? Was he alright? Did he get to see Kibum oppa? Of course he wouldn’t be alright. ! “WHERE THE IS MY PHONE?!”

“Did you check your bag?” She suggested staring at me in semi-shock.

“Bag?” I asked blankly staring at her for a while and then my brain clicked and understood. I looked around wildly for any sign of my bag. “Bag... Bag... Bag... WHERE THE IS MY BAG NOW?!”

I turned to stare back at her shocked face and tried to calm myself down even though I was ready to rip everything apart just to find my phone. Just then as if by some miracle of God, I heard my phone ringing and I began looking around wildly because I knew in my gut that it was Jonghyun.

“Where is it?!” I asked out loud in frustration. Kimmy came into the room took my hand and guided me to the sofa. I stared at her blankly until she pushed me down onto it.

“It’s Jonghyun oppa isn’t it?” She said as she began moving around looking for my phone while I tried to calm down.

“Ne...” I answered weakly.

“AH HA!” She said lifting my bag triumphantly from under a pile I had caused early in my frantic search for my phone. The phone had stopped ringing though and I was worried sick. Was Jonghyun alright? Would he think that I deliberately didn’t answer his call? OMG!!! This was not happening.

‘Please let ring back.’ I begged the highest power. And just like that the phone began ringing again as I dived into my bag like a starving vulture. I quickly pulled out the phone, my heart beating rapidly in my chest.

“JonghyunI’msosorryIcouldn’tfindmyphone!” I speed-talked into the phone making it seems like punctuations never existed.

JONGHYUN POV

I frowned at my phone screen as I saw that her phone had rang out. Where was she? It would be around noon back home so shouldn't she be awake? Maybe she was busy with a schedule? I closed my eyes tired, completely drained from all the crying I had done since returning back to the hotel. I wanted to hear her voice. I wanted her to sooth me and yet at the same time I wanted Kibum to wake up. I was selfish wasn't I? Yeah I was surely going to Hell for being so selfish. I remembered how I had cried in front of the others, professing my love for Kibum and I felt a strong shame wash over me. It was a feeling similar to the one I had gotten when Onew hyung had asked back at the hospital if she knew of my feelings and I had answered that she did. I knew he had been looking at me disapprovingly but I had not wanted to face him and so instead I had turned back to Kibum to tell him how much I loved him. Gosh, I am a horrible person. Still it wasn't like I was using her. I really did love her, just not as much as I loved Kibum. I bit my lips as I dialled her number again, listening to the sound of her phone ringing. What if she didn't want to hear from me? What if she changed her mind about staying with me? What if she hated me now that she has had time to let all that had happened sink in? Oh God. My heart clenched painfully in my chest every second that went by and she didn't answer her phone. Oh God please let her answer her phone. I can't live without her. My thoughts stopped as I tried to process that one thought that had had just flew in. I can't live without her. Deep down in the very being of Kim Jonghyun, I knew that that was a true statement. I loved her that much. I really did.

'You also can't live without Kibum.' my subconscious sneered no doubt mocking me.

I gripped the phone tighter in my hands and hung my head in shame for I knew that was also a true statement. I loved him a whole lot as well. Since when did love get so complex? Still the phone kept ringing and there was no answer. Maybe she didn't want to hear anything from me anymore. Maybe this was it. Maybe she decided she would be better off if she moved on from me. Maybe-

“JonghyunI’msosorryIcouldn’tfindmyphone!”

I stared up at my phone in amazement. SHe was there. She had answered. She hadn't cast me aside. I felt a knot form in my throat and I tried to swallow it down.

"Jonghyun?" I heard say into the phone hesitantly. I closed my eyes letting her voice just wash through me; washing away all my pains. "Jonghyun are you ok?"

"I love you." I said letting my voice express all of the emotions I felt for her. There was only silence on her end and I opened my eyes to stare at the screen in alarm. Why had she not responded? My heart was clenching painfully in my chest. I swallowed as tears pricked at my eyes.

"You.." I heard her say and I leaned in eagerly towards the phone. "What happened? Did you meet Kibum-shii?"

"Yeah, I was there with the others." I said quietly into the phone pretending that it hadn't pierced my heart that she hadn't returned my 'I love you'. "It was like a SHINee reunion."

I heard chuckle and that made me smile. "How..." She began and then drifted off. I understood what she wanted to ask. I felt my heart clench again, but for a different reason this time.

"He looked like he was sleeping." I whispered into the phone as I thought back to how Kibum had looked to me. "I can't.....I don't want to believe that he will be d-dead soon."

I could feel the tears flowing silently down my cheek. I had thought I had cried it all out with my members circled around me. It was funny how easy it was to think of them still as my bandmates although that didn't mean that I didn't think of them as my family. I opened my mouth to draw in a shaky breath, trying not to let on that I was crying but failed.

"Jonghyun..." I heard her say softly and I knew that she knew I was crying. "It's o...well it's not okay but it's okay to cry baby."

I wished so desperately at that moment that she was right in front of me and that I could just hold onto her and let it all out. I couldn't but I didn't try to stiffle my tears any longer as she made soothing noise over the phone. I don't know for how long I had cried but all I know was that somehow I felt better than I had before. I heard some rustling over the phone and frowned slightly as I heard some murmured voices. Where was she?

"Oppa...oppa you're not alone." I heard a voice say over the phone.

"Kimmy?" I asked placing the voice.

"Yeah. Oppa, I'm here for you and ____ is here for you." Kimmy said in a sad voice. "So oppa don't feel too lonely and don't be too sad. Just cherish all the good memories you had with him and moved forward with one foot in front of the other. You are not alone oppa. We will all be here for you."

"Thanks a lot Kimmy." I replied touched by what she had said. "Take care of my girl there for me until I get back okay."

I heard scoff at me and I laughed. "You owe in damages." She said teasingly and I frowned.

"Damages?" I asked and then I heard ______ demanding her phone back and something that sounded like a small scuffle followed by Kimmy's breathy laughter.

"Yeah oppa. _____ threw a fit when she couldn't find her phone when she woke up with a hangover." Kimmy said laughing.

"Yah!" I heard ______ yell at Kimmy. "Give me my phone you little--eeep!!!"

All I could hear now was Kimmy delighted laughter. "Omo, oppa Imma send you picture. Hold on." I heard Kimmy said laughing and frowned wondering what was so hilarious.

Moments later I saw I had a picture message and began laughing. Apparently _____ had fallen down amidst sheet, pillows and chairs and sat in complete adorable dishevelled mess. She was staring up at Kimmy with an adorably cute angry face. A few clicks later, it was now my new wallpaper.

"Oppa did you get it?" Kimmy asked laughing and then I heard her squeal.

"Yah Kim Jonghyun you better delete that photo!" I heard _____ huff at me over the phone. Clearly she had won this scuffle.

"Why? I think it's cute." I said teasingly. I could almost see her blushing face.

"D-delete it." She stuttered no doubt embarassed.

"I refuse. That is now my new wallpaper." I said teasingly. I heard her gasp in horror. "What did Kimmy mean by hangover by the way?"

"That little! She convinced me that we needed to empty two bottles of wine last night!" She said exasperated.

"Because you were depressed." I heard Kimmy say to her.

Suddenly all the joy left me. She had been depressed. It was all my fault. I was the boyfriend she loved wholeheartedly. I was also the rotten creature who loved someone else as well. The shame I felt at that moment was extreme.

"I'm sorry." I said quietly. "God I'm so sorry. You should hate me."

"I don't hate you..." She said softly and I felt like crying again. How could she be so pure and understanding? I didn't get to find out for at that moment my door burst open and a hagard Onew hyung stood there.

"Hyung?" I asked, my eyes wide at his state. His eyes were red as well. How foolish of me to think that I was the only one suffering.

"I just got a call from the hospital." Onew hyung said his voice slightly winded. "We need to get there right away."

"Why?" I asked confused.

"I don't know. They didn't say. Just that it was urgent." He said before disappearing no doubt to go tell the others.

"Jonghyun?" I heard her ask.

"Sorry about that. It seems I have to go." I said as I began pulling on my clothes. "Onew hyung just got a call from the hospital. They want us there ASAP."

"Oh...Well..." She said and I knew she was wondering what was the best thing to say at the moment. She sighed. "I love you."

I stopped what I was doing. My heart stopped and I closed my eyes as I let that washed over me like a cleansing wave. That was definitely all I needed to hear.

"I love you babe." I said as Onew hyung appeared at the doorway again motioning for me to hurry. "Gotta go. Will call you with an update. Bye. Love you."

"Take care." She said before hanging up.

"Done?" Onew hyung asked as I pulled on my boots and I nodded.

We went down and caught a cab, all four of us riding it in confusion. What was so urgent that they were calling us so hastily like this? Don't tell me that they were gonna do it now! My hands tightened on my thighs as the cab pulled to a stop at the hospital entrance. We paid him and thanked him before entering. I was sure I was probably going to have to be carried in on a stretcher if my heart kept up the fast pace it was beating at. Any moment now I was expecting to go into cardiac arrest as I watched the members nervous face while we moved to where Lee Soo-Man was waiting for us. His face was blank not letting anything on. I was scared and gripping Taemin's hands tightly in mine. When did I first grabbed his hand, I don't remember.

"Hyung...?" Onew asked with a question but Lee Soo-Man just looked at the doctor besides him. Their faces were unreadable.

"Go in." was all Lee Soo-Man said and I swallowed in apprehension.

What was happening? We exchanged looks and then Onew hyung pushed the door open to Kibum's room and we all stepped in. We didn't make it far into the room. My heart stopped. I was sure that maybe time stopped as well. I heard gasp around me. I wasn't sure if I gasped as well. Maybe I did. I don't know. I didn't care. All I cared to know was if I was hallucinating. Was this a dream? Was this real? I drew in a deep breath, closed my eyes and then let it out. I pinched myself. No this was real. I stared at his parents crowding his bed crying and I, too, felt myself begin to cry where I stood rooted on the ground. This was really real.

A/N: LOCKETS! Again I ask...can you see the light? xD

Hehhe~~ do comment~~^^ hehehe~~^^ i know a few of you want to shoot me don't you? hehehe

Oh before I go~ This fic will end soon~~ Sad right? No? Okay~ Do enjoy the new chapter~

Annyeong my lovelies~~Until next update~~ oh yeah your name goes in the blank~