JONGHYUN POV

Its been days since my conversation with my members over what I should do. Its been days since they told me that only I could decide on which path I want to walk. Its been days since last I spoke with her. Its been days since I have been by Key's side catching up and intently caring for him. Its been days since I was avoiding the talk with Key that we both knew was inevitable. It's been hours since Minho told me to get my together and stop stringing my two loves along. Its been hours since Onew hyung had looked at me in disapproval as my finger hovered over her number on my phone without pressing 'call'. Its been minutes since the maknae told me to "stop being a coward and make my ing mind up". In those exact words too might I add. Its been minutes since I was sitting in Key's hospital room as we just stared at each other in complete silence. Its been minutes since my phone had delivered a message from her that stated:

>>Remember your promise to tell me the truth right away Jonghyun. Whatever you decide I will abide by it.<<

It's been seconds since the answer came to me. Its been seconds since I made up my mind and found the courage I needed to speak. It's been milliseconds since I've changed my mind. It's been milliseconds since I chickened out and didn't want to have that talk yet. It's been milliseconds since Key let out an exasperated breath. It's been milliseconds since Key decided to start the conversation instead.

"What's she like...?" Key asked and I looked up sharply to find the younger boy looking down at his hands that were twisting the sheets. When my silence prevailed, Key looked up and bit his lips. "Your girlfriend...what's she like?"

KIBUM POV

I could tell he wanted to speak but that he couldn't seem to get the right words out to start the conversation and so I decided to do it for him. I asked the first thing that I really wanted and didn't want to know about. I wanted to know about what kind of person she was to have caught Jonghyun hyung's attention but then again I didn't want to sit there and listen to him talk about her. Still the conversation had to start somewhere and since hyung was making no move to do it, I figured I may as well give him something to start talking about and talking about her was one of the most important things they had to talk about. So I sat there waiting for him to answer my question as he stared at me before looking down at his hands.

"After...After everything that had happened with you and our decision to disband SHINee..." Jonghyun began hesitantly after taking a deep breath. "I...I was very lost Key..."

I frowned slightly looking at him as he gripped his hands tightly together, still not looking up at me. "Hyung..." was all I said. What else could I say? How else could I answer something like that? I knew he needed to speak this now before he closed up and just keep it inside of himself. I wasn't going to risk that because I needed to hear everything before I made a solid decision of what path I was going to choose. I heard him take a deep breath before he began speaking again.

YOUR POV

I sat there with my phone in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. It was going to be dawn soon but I didn't know that. I didn't care. It didn't matter. It just signaled another day that I was spending without Jonghyun. Another day without any word from him. Another day during which I was sure he was with his Key, his one true love. It's been a few minutes since I had finally found the courage to write the love of my life a short meaningful message.

>>Remember your promise to tell me the truth right away Jonghyun. Whatever you decide I will abide by it.<<

Even now as I sat there staring blankly into nothingness, I could hear the questions in my head asking me all the questions that were just threatening to shred me to pieces. But there was one that was the loudest and most important one.

What if Jonghyun had already made his decision?

That one question was like a jagged edged knife being twisted brutally into my heart. What if he has already decided the one he was going to spend the rest of his life with? What if he's already chosen Key over me? Did I even stood a chance from the start? But Jonghyun would keep his promise right? He would tell me immediately if he had already made his decision right? I squeezed my eyes shut tightly until I began seeing kaleidoscopic patterns behind my lids. The pain in my chest had double and a knot had formed at my throat. I had to believe that he would keep his promise or else I would have a complete breakdown. I could not afford to have a breakdown. I still had my career to tend to despite the Hell my personal life was becoming. I opened my eyes and brought the glass to my lips and drank some of the wine that was still in it for who knows how many hours now. My phone beeped, signaling that soon it would be time for me to put on my mask and smile at the world even while I was coming apart on the insides. I closed my eyes again and the memory of when we first met came forefront into my brain.

JONGHYUN POV

"It was funny how we first met only at the time it hadn't seemed funny at all. Nothing seemed funny to me after everything that had happened and that day I was in a particularly bad mood." I said with a heavy sigh as I remembered how mad I had been that day. "Especially when I came out of my house to get some air to clear my brain and these girls were there waiting for me in front of my freaking house! God only knows how long they've been there!" I breathed deeply as I could feel the same anger stirring inside of me once again as I recalled these events. "I mean I would've just ignored them if they had kept their distance but they were freaking screaming for me and trying to get in my personal space!" I moved my hand around my body to signify what I meant by my personal space. "Even still I tried to be tolerant to them but they ing began following me to everywhere I would go!!" I huffed clenching my fist angrily. "Now I loved our fans and my fans...but after what happened with those crazy girls and with you ending up in a coma I was in no mood to put up with them." I took a deep breath to calm myself as the memories surged forever and the emotions awakened inside of me, fresh as if I was back in those scenes in my memories experiencing it all over again. "And so I snapped and yelled at them. They began crying but by that point I really didn't give a and began walking, checking to make sure they weren't following me. I was relieved when I saw no one following me. That relief lasted only for a few minutes before I once again felt the sensations of being followed and turned to spot glimpses of clothing quickly trying to hide themselves from my view. I was pissed and began walking faster as I cursed to myself. All I really wanted was some time in peace, for myself, out in the open but that was not possible."

I looked up to find Key looking at me with wide eyes. I wondered if he was thinking about those girls who had kept us captive and then had attacked us so horridly when we had tried to escape. I felt the anger rise up in me again thinking on the fact that Key may be permanently scarred by those pitiful excuses for humans. How dare they! How could they have done such a horrible thing to us? How dare they do such a thing to Key!! Key, who has never shown anything short of utmost love to all his fans and everyone else. How could they find it in their sick twisted heart to harm such a beautiful creature?! How could they treat us that way and then claim that it was all because of their love for us? What the Hell kind of love was that? I didn't want any of it. That sick obsessive love had almost cost me everything. A friendship, a bond made through years of sweat and tears and blood, a family tightly knitted...that was what SHINee had become to me and I had almost lost it all because of this love that these "fans" claimed to have for us. That bond that had seemed so unbreakable and could withstand anything had suffered greatly. We were never the same ever again. Sure we kept in contact, but just barely. It was too much for us. Too much of a reminder of our broken circle of five and so we avoided contact as much as possible. In a moment, everything was almost taken from me.

KIBUM POV

I looked at Jonghyun hyung with my eyes wide at the anger undercoating his voice as he spoke. The look on his face was murderous and his hands were gripping the sheet of my bed like claws. This Jonghyun hyung was one I had never seen before. No wait, it was a Jonghyun hyung I hadn't seen since that time some guys were picking on me and he had beat the living daylight out of them. He had scared me then just as he was scaring me now. The loving and tender man that was always smiling and teasing his hyungs and dongsaengs was gone and in his place was this alien who looked ready to tear apart human flesh with his bare hands. It was understandable I guess. Anyone would be totally pissed off if they were being continuously stalked like that when all they wanted was to live peacefully especially after such a terrible ordeal. If it had been me I don't know how I would have reacted. Maybe I would've felt the same way hyung did and maybe my reaction would've probably been the same if not worse. As the silence continued I began to wonder if Jonghyun hyung was going to not say anything more and just decide not to tell me these things. What if he changed his mind and just changed the topic completely? I looked at Jonghyun hyung who still had bowed his head again after looking up at me briefly. I chewed on my lips waiting for him to continue but he didn't. Was he lost in his memories that he could not continue? Was it too much for him to relive it all for me? Was I being too selfish? He already had a girlfriend so shouldn't I just give up and send him off to her? I sighed rubbing my eyes as I thought about that. It was the easiest path to choose but something in me wanted to know the rest of the story I spoke up gently.

"Jonghyunie hyung..." I said quietly and I heard him sigh deeply and reached out to touch his arms. He slowly raised his head up to me and stared full on into my eyes. I squeezed his arms lightly to signal that he can continue whenever he was ready and he bit his lips before speaking again.

"I don't know how I ended up there. I don't remember where I ran off to to avoid those stalkers. All I knew was that I had made my way into a park and was next to some kind of pond that was surrounded by trees. I thought it would be the perfect spot to lose my stalkers and I so I clambered into the section that was clustered with trees and made myself comfortable." Jonghyun hyung said and then his eyes glazed over and he was no longer looking at me. As I stared at his face, I knew that she was about to enter the conversation and I wondered if he knew about the stupid grin gracing his lips right now? Judging from the spaced out look in his eyes, I figured he didn't. It pained me to see him smile like that as he thought of her but I guess I shouldn't be surprise to that smile. She was still his girlfriend at the moment and there was no doubt that he loved her. "I heard the sound coming from a distance within the cluster and at first I thought that my stalkers had found me but then I recognized it as the sound of someone crying. I was cautious as I went to check it out." Jonghyun hyung paused for a while and the smile on his face got a little wider. "And there she was, bent over double, bawling her eyes out with her clothes and hair in a mess. I couldn't see her face until I stepped on a twig and her head shot up and I asked the first stupid thing that came into my mind at that moment."

Jonghyun hyung chuckled and I felt the pain in my chest double at the sight of his happy face as he stared into his memories, completely absorbed by it. I felt the pin prick of tears beginning to form in my eyes and I blinked quickly and looked down. It was not like Jonghyun hyung could see it though, he was lost in his memory of her. I bit my lips as the tears began threatening to flow over. Do I even stand a chance? Why was I doing this? It's not like he's going to choose me. It's obvious his love for her runs very deep. The first tear fell, running down the left side of my cheek and eventually dropping onto my hand but Jonghyun hyung didn't notice.

YOUR POV

"Yah how come your eyeliner isn't running horridly all over your face??" Jonghyun had asked, his face showing nothing short of shock.

He asked such a ridiculous question even as I sat there crying over the hardships that I endured everyday in my pursuit to get to the top and stay at the top. It had just all came crashing down on me that day and so I had ran for God's knows how long until I had found myself at this pond. I couldn't hold it in any longer and the tears had began to run down my face like rain and so I had scrambled over to the trees to hide myself and just let it all out. I don't know how long I had been there when I heard the sound of a twig snapping and looked up to see Jonghyun there.

"W-What..Are you some kind of ert?!" My mouth spoke before my brain had a chance to indicate that it shouldn't. I saw his face change to anger and he glared at me.

"Yah! Are you crazy?!" He'd asked completely enraged. "Don't you know who the Hell I am? How dare you speak to me like that!"

"What does knowing who you are have to do with anything?" I had asked in annoyance. How dare he look down on me. "Just because you're SHINee's Jonghyun doesn't mean you can't be a ert."

"W-What?! So you know who I am and yet you still say these things?!" Jonghyun yelled running a hand through his hair. "Aiiishhh!! I swear they're all the same...What are you? Another crazy fan following me around?"

By then I was completely angry at this jerk who kept speaking to me like I was inferior compared to him. In some sense that was probably true but I was too tired and fed up with how my life was going and the pressures placed on me and so I wasn't in the mood for his bull.

"Don't think so highly of yourself." I said getting up. "Aiisshhh jinjja...I'm already in a bad freaking mood."

I glared at him angrily and just before he could reply, there were the sounds of some girls squealing and whispering to themselves. I could've barely catch what they said but I caught Jonghyun's name and that they think he was probably somewhere nearby. I turned back to Jonghyun to find him trying to conceal himself behind a large shrub and raised an eye brow. He was clearly still visible and I pointed that out as he moved away from it, looking around for a good hiding spot. The voices were getting closer and closer and suddenly I felt hands roughly pulling me towards them and then a pair of lips were on mine, kissing me softly. My eyes widened as much as they could go as Jonghyun kept his back to the opening and his hands on my face while his lips moved expertly over mine. The girls blushed brightly and apologized for interrupting, not realizing that it was their star oppa. When Jonghyun pulled back and looked to see if they were gone, I was still frozen where I stood with my brained unable to comprehend what had just happened.

KIM JONGHYUN JUST KISSED ME...!

SHINee KIM JONGHYUN....!!!

"Sorry about that but they..." I heard him say and then he paused and I looked up to find him smirking at me. "What's this? Did my kiss left you stunned and speechless?"

And that was when I pulled my right hand back and slapped his across his face hard. The shocked expression on his face had been too priceless.

"You son of a !!" I had yelled at him as he brought one of his hand up to his slapped cheek. "How dare you touch me! How dare you kiss me!"

"Woah wait..calm down..." Jonghyun had said as my fingers had curled themselves into fists. "Wait hang on...you look...a bit...familiar...AH! You're that model! ___________." Jonghyun smiled at me sheepishly and rubbed his cheek. "I'm really sorry about what I said...and did. I'm just...having a really bad day. I'm sure you can appreciate that."

Since I had nothing to say to that I just looked away from him, pretending to ignore him but he wouldn't have any of it. "Ahh..Mind if I stay here for a bit?" He asked sitting down next to me and I rolled my eyes.

After much apologizing on his part we ended up talking for a long while. We just poured it all out on each other. Well most of it anyway. And so by the time my phone began ringing to signal that my manager was looking for me and that I needed to get back to work I was feeling better and Jonghyun had become a friend of sorts.

"Hey can I have your number?" Jonghyun asked I turned to leave and I turned to face him in shock. "You don't have to if you don't wanna....."

"Good...cause I don't give out my number to people I barely know." I said with a small smile.

"Ahh...well..." He scratched at his head again. "I just thought...you know...maybe we could be friends...I..enjoyed talking to you..."

I bit my lips as I took in his sheepish smile. He was just so handsome but I had to keep myself from falling for his charms. I had a lot to lose and I knew how vicious fans can be and how ninja like they were. The media, too, could be stealthy and twisted and fitted things to their purposes just because they could and Jonghyun was especially famous. Seeing my hesitation Jonghyun had spoken up.

"Alright. How about this?" Jonghyun said with a serious look. "Have dinner with me once and then decide if I'm good enough to be your friend."

"Dinner?" I arched my eye brow at him and he hurried to say,

"Yes a nice friendly dinner. Nothing more.."

"Fine...I'll meet you there." I said agreeing because I could tell he wasn't going to back down. The smile that had graced his lips then had left me breathless as he gave me the restaurant name and time before he was waving good bye. I remembered walking back to my work with a small smile on my lips.

***

I sat there in my chair with my eyes closed as the first tear escaped and ran down my cheek. Oh how my heart ached at the moment. How innocently it had all started. A chance meeting...a kiss...dinner...friendship and then love...And now here we were in a complex situation full of uncertainties. So I cried like I cried that day I met him, just letting it all out. I cried for him and for the love he almost lost and I cried for me and for the love I seemed to be losing.

a/n: annyeong~~it's me again with another update~~^^

Hope you guys like it~~ PLEASE COMMENT~!!!!! ^^

UNTIL NEXT TIME~~^^ ANNYEONG~~ XOXO~~^^