KIBUM POV

I was floating in an open space that was devoid of everything but darkness. The darkness had been my only company all the time I had been floating. The darkness that used to be suffocating had become like a friend. It was never changing and I had come to accept that. Who was I? What was my name? I had a name right? Where did I come from? Why was I here? Where was here? Was there anyone out there beyond the darkness for me? The questions were the same everytime. I had no idea of anything except that I was floating infinitely in this dark void. Occassionally a flash of something would appear in my head leaving me to ponder over it as it quickly faded away. I felt like I was trying to catch an elusive sprite. These flashes were not often and the more I thought upon them the more elusive they become. I had long given up trying to chase them. It seemed to have been the right decision as when the flashes came, they started to become longer and clearer. By now, I had gathered that there were people outside of the darkness that I knew and loved. There was one face that kept appearing before me. It was a boy, so handsome and innocent looking. There were some flashes of his smile and I would ponder for a long time after at how his smile could be so pure and blindingly beautiful. Bit by bit, they were coming back to me. I loved this boy very much. His name was...Jonghyun...Yes Kim Jonghyun. My name was Kim Kibum. I had a nickname; Key. I was a member of a popular boy group, SHINee, along with the boy I loved. There were five of us; a leader who loved chicken to death and beyond, his name was Onew? No that was his stage name. His real name was Lee Jinki. He was the eldest. I remembered them all. The cute maknae who evoked motherly feelings from me; Lee Taemin. The other rapper, Choi Minho, a sports fanatic. I remembered my family, my friends, my fans....fans...I remembered the sasaeng fans...I remembered why I was here in this dark void. I was in coma. Somewhere out there, my body was most likely lying in a hospital bed. Despite remembering everything, I was still here encased in the familiar darkness.

On this particular day however, there was a crack in the darkness. A dull light was struggling to penetrate it but the darkness was fiercely trying to keep it out. I was curious as to what this light was and felt my body float closer to it. As I moved closer to it, or maybe it was moving closer to me, I noticed that it was growing stronger. This was all very interesting and then I heard something coming from the light. A sound so light like a feathery whisper.

"Key..."

Was someone calling for me? I looked around searching but I was the only one there. I looked back at the light and reached out towards it.

"....skin now..."

I frowned. Was the voice coming from the light? There was no way that was possible right? I saw the light dull a little as it fought desperately with the surrounding darkness. I stared at it waiting to see if I would hear more but there was nothing else. I sighed and began turning away from that light as it grew duller and duller.

"....Key!!"

I spun around to face the light again. That voice that kept leaking through, it sounded familiar. And it sounded angry. I stared intently at the light willing it to tell me more. It brightened a bit and then I heard,

"Jonghyun.."

Ah! That name! But this voice was different. I frowned. I was sure now that the voices before this one belonged to Jonghyun hyung but as too who the latter voice belonged to.....

"...drunk aegyo on you?"

Eh? What were they talking about? Drunk aegyo? They weren't talking about me right? I mean, I definitely don't do aegyo much less drunk aegyo. Totally don't. Who was I kidding? I totally do aegyo. Ahh now I remember this voice was our leader's.  Does that mean they were all there somewhere next to my body? Or was I having hallucinations?

"I-It wasn't that bad!"

That was Onew hyung again but what were they talking about? What wasn't that bad? I stared annoyed at the light. It was like trying to get proper signal on your phone in the midst of a forest. Couldn't it show me or let me hear better?? As if following my command, the light widened and brightened.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about!!"

Oho~was that Taemin? It certainly sounded like him and he sounded a bit..guilty? Just what were they talking about? I was totally annoyed now at this bad reception I was getting. Come one light! Brighter! Following my will, it brightened even more.

"Ahh Onew hyung do you still sleep all wrapped in a ball?" Wasn't that Minho's voice? So they really were all there??

"...a semi-ball now." I laughed figuring that Onew hyung had replied he had downgraded. The light was slowly growing in size and so I could hear them even better now to my delight.

"..still sleeps with his eyes open." Onew hyung was still talking but I could tell he was totally laughing.

He was no doubt talking about Jonghyun hyung. He was the only one who slept like that among us. I remembered that. I grinned anticipating his reply as the light grew brighter, almost lighting up a quarter of the dark void and bathing me in it's light.

"Yah! I don't do that...anymore..." came Jonghyun hyung's reply and I snickered at the uncertainty in his voice. I bet he totally did still sleep with his eyes open. I was still chuckling when I heard him say, "....I think.."

I had gone from chuckling to full blown laughter now and the light got brighter, covering nearly half of the darkness now. I had figured that maybe the amount of light that shone though the dark follows my will and so if I wanted to hear it would open up and let me.

I heard Taemin's laughter. "It feels just like old times." I heard him say and I grinned but then I frowned as there was nothing more said for a while. What was going on?

"Key..."

It was Jonghyun. Why did he sound so....broken? Was he crying? I began fighting against the darkness. My desire to pull him into my arms and sooth him came to life within me. The light was now covering three quarters of the dark void.

"Kibum I love you. I love you so damn much that it hurts. It hurts Key. Do you have any idea how much it hurts? I can't live without you Kibum. Please don't leave me." I heard him clearly say in that voice that just broke my heart into tiny pieces.

But wait...had he just say he loved me? Not only that but he said he couldn't live without me? More importantly was he telling me to not leave him? Was I going somewhere? I was in a coma right? There was no way I could go somewhere right? So why did he sound so broken? I was desperately pushing at the darkness that had suddenly started fighting back against the light. I wanted to reach out to Jonghyun hyung and take him in my arms and just hold him tight and wipe away all those tears and tell him everything would be ok. I JUST WANTED TO BE BACK IN HIS ARMS AND SEE HIS BEAUTIFUL SMILE.

[AUTHOR NOTE: This was the point where the machine first beeped.]

There was a silence, no sound came from the light and then I heard his voice again.

"I know you love all of us very much and that you love me a little bit more than usual." Jonghyun was saying.

I felt myself smiling. Jonghyun always understood my feelings better than anyone else. Jonghyun hadn't finished speaking though. I was hearing him as clearly now as if he was next to me.

"I love you too. You're my life. So don't leave me." His voice was so soft and so sad. I really wanted to reach out and touch him. No I was not going to leave him. I was not going to leave any of them. I wanted to say all these things but somehow I couldn't. It was frustrating to say the least. There was a little silence and then I heard Minho's voice.

"We...knew...a long time ago." He was saying and I felt myself blush. They knew a long time ago? They knew that Jonghyun hyung loved me?

"Does..." I hear Onew hyung say hesitantly. Does what? I wondered curious.

"Yes, she does." I heard Jonghyun hyung respond obviously understanding what I didn't. His voice sounded a bit..guilty. I frowned...wait she?

Who she was he talking about? Was it someone in Jonghyun hyung's life? Was...was he dating someone? A girl? I felt hurt. Had he not said he loved me? Then....no maybe it was not what I think it was. Maybe they were talking about his mother. But Onew hyung would not refer to his mother like that? But then again all he was: Does.... and Jonghyun hyung understood and replied. It could be that they were talking about his mother. Still I didn't feel that was the case. There was something tugging on the edge of my memory and I frowned trying to figure out what it was. As the sadness creep over me at the possiblity of Jonghyun hyung having a girlfriend I saw the light dimming.

Girlfriend....it was almost as if that word was the key to the piece of elusive memory for suddenly I could hear Jonghyun hyung's voice in my head. It had been the last time I had remembered hearing his voice while in my comatose state. He had been talking about some girl he had met and how he had planned to ask her out. Had he asked her out after all? I felt the sadness wash over me like a huge tsunami wave. Jonghyun hyung had a girlfriend. She was the one Onew hyung had been asking him about just now. But wait....was Onew hyung asking Jonghyun hyung if this girlfriend knew of his feelings for me? OH MY GOD! It suddenly clicked in my head. Jonghyun hyung had said that she did! I was sure now that was why he had sounded so guilty and the fact that he sounded so guilty meant that he had some feelings for her. I was crushed. How could he be with someone else and still say that he loved me? Was he lying to me?

"...You're my life...."

Those words ran through my head. He hadn't sounded like he was lying. Still the feeling pressing against my chest would not let up. He had found a girl for himself.

"Wake will ya. We need you. See you tomorrow Key." I heard Minho's voice say. Startled I focused and notice the light was now diminshed to covering a little less than half of the darkness.

I began pushing desperately against the darkness. My desire to hear my friends voice outweighting everything else. The light widened again; quickly this time.

"Hyung, when I come back tomorrow you'll be awake right?" Taemin was saying and suddenly I could feel something against my cheek. I brought my hand up but nothing was there. I shrugged it off and focused on what was filtering through the light. "Don't let me down hyung."

Taemin....I shall not disappoint you.

"Kibum-ah, I really wanna eat your food again and go shopping with you." Onew hyung said. Aish that hyung. Always wanting food. No doubt it's chicken he wants. Again I felt a sensation on my face. This time on my forehead. "Tomorrow it's time to wake up. You'll wake right?"

Yes, hyung I shall wake up! I must wake up! There was a silence and then I heard Onew hyung say so softly I had to strain my ears to hear it, "We'll give you some time alone with him."

Huh? What-?

"Key.."

That voice...oh it ached my heart to hear him sound so broken. Was he really like that because of me? Oh how badly I wanted to believe that. I wanted to just reach out and hold him and kiss him. The memory of our first kiss had my lips tingling. I had thought we were going to die and so I had confessed and kissed him without a second's thought. I had never hoped that he would return my feelings but yet here he was and he had said he loved me. So what if he had a girlfriend? He loved me and that was enough right? Yes, If he was happy to be with her then I could be happy for him. If he wanted to be with me then I would let him. I would not hate this unknown girl. I did not want to be the reason Jonghyun hyung sounded so broken. Love should not be like that.

[AUTHOR NOTE: This is where the monitor beeped again.]

"Key...Key..Key...Kibum...you can't leave me." Jonghyun said and it sounded like he was crying.

I was horrified. He was crying and it was all my fault. No I won't leave him. I won't be the cause of his tears. I want to see his bright shining smile not any tears from his eyes. The sound of his crying voice cut deeply at my heart. This would never do hyung. I don't want you sad. I want you to be happy.

"You need to fight this! Fight your way back to us. You're a fighter love. Even when things looked bleak you never gave up. Don't give up! You heard them earlier. We all want you to wake up from this coma."

Yes my love. I will fight! I will fight not just for your sake but for everyone else out there who loved me and has probably shed tears because of me. I won't give up! I will do as you say. I will do anything you say. The light burned brighter as my will grew stronger.

"Umm, excuse me but you need to---" I heard a female voice say and I frowned.

"Just...Just gimme one more minute." I heard Jonghyun hyung say in a pleading voice. Oh it must be a nurse or someone. "Come back to me. I love you so very much. Please..Comeback to me."

Oh Jonghyun hyung, when you say it like I want to believe you so badly. No I believe you that you love me as much as I love you. But what of your girlfriend? I know you love her. I'm sure you do or else you wouldn't have ever dated her or even tell me about her. I'm sure that she loved you as well if she is still with you despite knowing that you love me as well. What do we do about this situation hyung? Well I guess I need to find my way back to you first before anything else huh? Don't worry hyung. I will find my way back to you. Most definitely. And when I'm back we can sort all of this out.

The light was burning brighter now. There was barely any darkness around me now. I felt a slight sensation on my lips and I frowned again. There wasn't anything on my lips so then why.....Oh! Oh! OH MY GOD! I felt the sensation again against my lips and I felt lightheaded even in the state I was. Jonghyun hyung had kissed me! And not once but TWICE!!

"Come back to me Kim Kibum." I heard him say before I felt the sensation of his lips against my neck and knew he had left a light kiss there. Oh yes hyung I am on my way back to you.

A/N: ANNYEONG~~I KNOW YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR FOREVER FOR THIS CHAPTER~~

well i hope you guys enjoy it~~~LOCKETS! Can you see the light?! xD

DO COMMENT MY LOVELIES~~~

I somehow managed to write this chapter even though my head is just full of KAI KAI and more KAI at the moment~~lol

OMG WHY IS HE SO HOT?!?!?! OMG!!!!!!!!!!

Until next time annyeong~~

MY SWEET JONGKEY~~I'VE MISSED THIS SO MUCH~~VOGUE-ING IN THE MIDST OF SHINHWA [I LOVE THEM TOO]